View Full Version : Do women attempt to restric each other's sexuality?
A wonderful 2002 article by Roy Baumeister and Jean Twenge (in the Review of General Psychology) suggests that women more frequently work to suppress other women's sexual behaviors, far more than men do. Research with females and sexuality offers numerous examples, many gathered by Baumeister and Twenge, showing the degree to which females suppress and limit the sexuality of other females (note, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but just the way it is-often, in the examples below, there are real risks these females are trying to protect other women from):
• When males go on spring break, they often agree to help each other "get laid." When women go on spring break, they much more often set up arrangements to get each other out of sexual situations and prevent each other from going "too far."
• The degree of close communication between mother and daughter predicts the daughters' sexual activity-the more communication, the less the daughter is sexually active. Degree of communication with father has no impact on the daughters' sexual activity.
• In female friendships, the sexual activity level of one friend tends to be consistent with the rate of the other female. Contrary to many assumptions, when a girl begins to have sexual activity or loses her virginity, they don't usually "drop" their friends that aren't having sex, taking up with girls who are. This is because once one girl begins to have sex, it increases the likelihood that her friends will soon follow.
• The "double standard," that some sexual activities are okay for males, but not females, is far more supported by women than men.
• Gossip by other women, and the reputation one holds among other women, are often cited as the most powerful influences on women to "hold back sexually."
• Highly sexual women (those who report wanting sex at least seven times a week or more) report that they typically have much better relationships with men, including just friendship, and relatively poor friendships with women. Men are more accepting of these highly sexual women, and far less judgmental.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201008/can-women-enjoy-casual-sex-should-they
Do you think that women tend to restrict each other's sexuality? Basically do women prevent each other from getting laid?
Absinthe
11-16-2012, 02:42 PM
No, I don't think so. What is perhaps the case is that sex is less on the average woman's mind than on the average men's mind.
Sabinae
11-16-2012, 02:45 PM
I would certainly not restrict others' sexuality.... :angel
"prevent from getting laid"- this sounds so... funny!!! :D
Queen B
11-16-2012, 02:49 PM
Why should we, or why should I ?
I don't care if other women get laid or not, I only care about myself
Yes, that's why attractive women chose always an ugly friend to hang out.
Kazimiera
11-16-2012, 02:53 PM
What other people do or don't do is the least of my concerns.
No, I don't think so. What is perhaps the case is that sex is less on the average woman's mind than on the average men's mind.
Look at the quoted examples, I think we've all experienced some of them, such as,
* Your mother trying to prevent you from getting laid.
* Older women tried to shame me for liking sex.
* Women who try to give you bullshit excuses for why I shouldn't do a certain sex act. Oral, anal, having sex often, fucking two guys at the same time, and S&M. There's always a woman, usually old and ugly, that is trying to get you out of, having a good time.
It's not like men are shaming women for having sex. It's other women who are trying to ruin women's good time.
Yes, that's why attractive women chose always an ugly friend to hang out.
You don't choose an ugly friend, an ugly friend is just one of those women, who tags along, and you can never get rid of her.
Here is a fat, ugly, Jewish cunt who doesn't want women to get off to porn,
HDNxlzzPQBE
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
Absinthe
11-16-2012, 02:59 PM
Look at the quoted examples, I think we've all experienced some of them, such as,
* Your mother trying to prevent you from getting laid.
* Older women tried to shame me for liking sex.
* Women who try to give you bullshit excuses for why I shouldn't do a certain sex act. Oral, anal, having sex often, fucking two guys art the same time, and S&M. There's always a woman, usually old and ugly, that is trying to get you out of, having a good time.
It's not like men are shaming women for having sex. It's other women who are trying to ruin women's good time.
None of these have happened to me, so I can't tell :)
You don't choose an ugly friend, an ugly friend is just one of those women, who tags along, and you can never get rid of her.
Well, maybe the ugly one unconsciously thinks she'll get laid if she hangs out with an attractive one so.
Well, maybe the ugly one unconsciously thinks she'll get laid if she hangs out with an attractive one so.
The ugly friend is only there to ruin it for you. She wants to prevent the attractive friend from getting laid.
larali
11-16-2012, 05:15 PM
I think so, women hate it when they see a guy paying attention to you.
Albion
11-16-2012, 11:55 PM
You don't choose an ugly friend, an ugly friend is just one of those women, who tags along, and you can never get rid of her.
I thought that women think their ugly friends are actually attractive.It always seems that way. :confused:
I thought that women think their ugly friends are actually attractive.It always seems that way. :confused:
Well, nobody finds ugly women attractive. Not me, not women, not anyone. The ugly friend is just someone that comes along, and wants to be your bestest friend in the whole world. And you can't get rid of her. Neither can you bring yourself to tell her, to go away.
Hurrem sultana
11-17-2012, 12:04 AM
Well, nobody finds ugly women attractive. Not me, not women, not anyone. The ugly friend is just someone that comes along, and wants to be your bestest friend in the whole world. And you can't get rid of her. Neither can you bring yourself to tell her, to go away.
No,sometimes people think she is funny or interesting,,its not about looks when it comes to friendship
Albion
11-17-2012, 12:36 AM
Well, nobody finds ugly women attractive. Not me, not women, not anyone. The ugly friend is just someone that comes along, and wants to be your bestest friend in the whole world. And you can't get rid of her. Neither can you bring yourself to tell her, to go away.
Oh. We just thought you were naive. :icon_cheesygrin:
This subject has been troubling mankind for ages. It's kind of an awkward question - "do you agree that your friend there is ugly?"...
I once had a problem related to this. When I was a lad there was a girl that liked me but I thought she was a bit of a plain Jane, and very annoying. She was best friends with the girl that I actually liked, I tried to tell the one I liked that she was annoying and I didn't like her friend and all I got was "don't be mean" and "that's awful, she's funny and pretty" and so on...
So why did this happen? Was the attractive one actually in denial about her annoying friend? I did phrase it gently, I wasn't mean or anything.
Please Mary, help me understand woman logic!
Four theories about cultural suppression of female sexuality are evaluated. Data are
reviewed on cross-cultural differences in power and sex ratios, reactions to the sexual
revolution, direct restraining influences on adolescent and adult female sexuality,
double standard patterns of sexual morality, female genital surgery, legal and religious
restrictions on sex, prostitution and pornography, and sexual deception. The view that
men suppress female sexuality received hardly any support and is flatly contradicted by
some findings. Instead, the evidence favors the view that women have worked to stifle
each other’s sexuality because sex is a limited resource that women use to negotiate
with men, and scarcity gives women an advantage.
The Female Control Theory
A second theory would hold that the women,
rather than the men, cooperate to stifle female
sexuality. As with the male control theory, the
term control is used loosely to refer to cooper-
ative, goal-directed activities of people in gen-
eral that may contribute to a common benefit
even if the people have not explicitly articulated
that goal or made a conscious agreement to
work for this purpose.
Women might be able to garner two kinds of
benefits from restricting the supply of sex avail-
able to men. First, women in general might be
able to extract better treatment and other re-
sources from men. This idea assumes that men
are willing to do whatever is necessary to obtain
sex and will often do roughly the minimum
amount that is required. This echoes the tradi-
tional grandmotherly advice against premarital
sex, colloquially expressed in the metaphoric
terms that a man who can get free milk will not
buy the cow. The harder it is for men to obtain
sex, the more they will be willing to offer
women in return. Social exchange theory em-
phasizes that a broad range of social rewards
may be involved in such exchanges, including
money, gifts, long-term relationship commit-
ment, fair treatment, sexual fidelity, and con-
forming to expectations. Sexual scarcity im-
proves women’s bargaining position with re-
spect to all of these rewards.
Second, widespread suppression of female
sexuality reduces the risk that each woman will
lose her male lover to another woman. Through-
out history (and apparently very often today as
well), men have been willing to leave one
woman for another, especially when the new
one is sexually more appealing. Although mar-
ital infidelity is not as common as previous
estimates suggested, it still occurs millions of
times each year (see Laumann, Gagnon, Mi-
chael, & Michaels, 1994), and moreover infi-
delity represents a significant risk factor for
marital breakup (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983).
Similar considerations apply to dating relation-
ships. Hence, to the extent that a man may have
sex with other women, his girlfriend or wife has
a legitimate concern about losing him.
The double standard is undoubtedly the most
widely perceived restraint on adult female sex-
uality. The double standard is in essence a gen-
der-based discrimination in suppressing sexual
activity: It asserts that certain behaviors are
acceptable for men but not for women. Who
actually supports the double standard? A meta-
analysis of research on sexual attitudes and be-
haviors by Oliver and Hyde (1993) provided
valuable evidence. They found that the double
standard of sexual morality—which is central to
the suppression of female sexuality—was more
positively accepted by females than males
across all studies they covered.
The important point from Oliver and Hyde’s
(1993) findings, then, is that women have sup-
ported the double standard more than men, es-
pecially in the more traditional bygone days
when the double standard and the general sup-
pression of female sexuality were supposedly in
full force. In its heyday, the double standard that
condemned female sexual activity as immoral
received more support from women than from
men. This supports the female control theory.
Millhausen and Herold (1999)
asked their respondents “Who judges women
who have had sex with many partners more
harshly?” (p. 363). The answers reflected a
strong perception that women enforce the dou-
ble standard. Only 12% of the women respond-
ing to the survey stated that men were the
harsher judges, whereas 46% identified women
as harsher. (The rest reported that men and
women judged equally harshly.) The authors
seem to have concurred that their findings pose
a challenge to the theory that men stifle female
sexuality: “Why is there a belief that men are
controlling women’s sexuality, yet women per-
ceive other women to be the harshest judges of
their own behavior?” (p. 367).
Adult women seem more disapproving
of female premarital sex and other female sex-
ual activity than adult men. Women have sup-
ported the double standard more strongly than
men. The more extreme evidence about surgical
interventions designed to curb female sexual
responses likewise pointed toward female rather
than male control.
In any case, evidence supports the prediction
from the female control theory: Women seem
consistently more opposed than men to prosti-
tution and pornography. Klassen, Williams, and
Levitt (1989) reported the results of a survey
asking whether prostitution is “always wrong.”
A majority (69%) of women, but only a minor-
ity (45%) of men, were willing to condemn
prostitution in such categorical terms. At the
opposite extreme, about three times as many
men (17%) as women (6%) responded that pros-
titution is not wrong at all. A sourcebook on
statistics published by the U.S. Department of
Justice (1987) examined attitudes toward por-
nography. Women were more likely than men
(51% vs. 34%) to support a ban on showing
X-rated, sexually explicit films in theatres.
Women were also more favorable toward sup-
pressing the rental of X-rated sex videos (43%
vs. 29%).
A recent poll by the newspaper USA Today
asked respondents from a national sample
whether they enjoyed nudity in popular movies
(see Weiss, 1991). Once again, a majority of
women (72%) but only a minority of men (42%)
responded that they disliked nude scenes. Like-
wise, in a survey of a large sample of college
students, Lottes, Weinberg, and Weller (1993)
found that women were more strongly opposed
to pornography than men.
Prostitution is of particular interest to the
social exchange theory because it makes ex-
plicit the exchange of sex for resources (cash).
Many observers, beginning perhaps with Marx
and Engels (e.g., Engels, 1884/1902), have re-
garded prostitution as a simply more explicit
form of the exchange that characterizes gender
relations in general. Their description of mar-
riage as “legalized prostitution” implies that
wives exchange sex for their husbands’ money
in a more roundabout but ultimately similar
fashion.
Hence, the social exchange theory can claim
some support in the fact that women in general
oppose prostitution. After all, one could make
other predictions: If women themselves do not
want to have sex with men, such as because
they want to avoid pregnancy or they simply do
not desire sex as frequently as their husbands,
they might be expected to regard prostitutes as
performing a valuable service to all women (by
draining off excess male demand). There is
even some evidence that prostitution reduces
sex crimes, thereby making all women safer
(R. N. Barber, 1969). But these possible mo-
tives for women to favor prostitution and por-
nography are clearly contrary to the empirical
evidence. Women oppose prostitution, consis-
tent with the idea that it might represent a threat
to their own position and bargaining power.
Perhaps the most relevant among these ef-
forts to control adolescent female sexuality are
the institutions set up to prevent pregnancy and
promiscuity among female adolescents. Nathan-
son (1991) provided a history of these efforts,
documenting that they began in the 1800s and
are still in operation. Governments and courts
have set up homes for wayward girls and other
institutions to control adolescent girls who have
behavioral problems, and sexual activity is one
prominent problem with which they have dealt.
Nathanson’s (1991) conclusion is revealing,
however:
The principal agents of female social control are other
women. Since the middle of the nineteenth century . . .
the frontline workers in the sexual regulation indus-
try—social workers, nurses, counselors, teachers,
members of the semi-professions—were, and continue
to be, almost exclusively female. (p. 213)
Thus, when government agencies do regulate
female sexuality, women take the lead in doing
so.
www.femininebeauty.info/suppression.pdf
Graus
11-17-2012, 12:55 AM
I always thought women had an ugly friend to feel better about themselves and to look more desirable standing next to them.
Anyway, pretty much all the "slut shamers" I ever encountered were females.
No,sometimes people think she is funny or interesting,,its not about looks when it comes to friendship
No, because if you are hot and have an ugly friend, the ugly friend will actually hate you. She won't show it though.
larali
11-17-2012, 01:08 AM
In my experience, the ugly girls compensated by being "fun", so the boring pretty girls would pair up with the ugly fun ones and go out. The guys would be attracted to the pretty one but end up going home with the fun one.
But yes, the ugly ones always stab the pretty ones in the back eventually.
Oh. We just thought you were naive. :icon_cheesygrin:
This subject has been troubling mankind for ages. It's kind of an awkward question - "do you agree that your friend there is ugly?"...
We know that she is ugly.
I once had a problem related to this. When I was a lad there was a girl that liked me but I thought she was a bit of a plain Jane, and very annoying. She was best friends with the girl that I actually liked, I tried to tell the one I liked that she was annoying and I didn't like her friend and all I got was "don't be mean" and "that's awful, she's funny and pretty" and so on...
So why did this happen? Was the attractive one actually in denial about her annoying friend? I did phrase it gently, I wasn't mean or anything.
Please Mary, help me understand woman logic!
Well, the hot girl probably didn't like you and kept the ugly friend around as a deterrent. Women will often push the ugly friend onto men that come on to them but that they're not interested in. Because if a girl likes you, she will ditch the ugly friend in a second.
I've had several ugly friends, so I know how it works.
Albion
11-17-2012, 01:19 AM
We know that she is ugly.
Well, the hot girl probably didn't like you and kept the ugly friend around as a deterrent. Women will often push the ugly friend onto men that come on to them but that they're not interested in. Because if a girl likes you, she will ditch the ugly friend in a second.
I've had several ugly friends, so I know how it works.
I don't think so. She never stopped flirting and we went out for a while not long after. I think she pitied her friend, or was just naive like I said earlier.
I don't think so. She never stopped flirting and we went out for a while not long after. I think she pitied her friend, or was just naive like I said earlier.
She probably did this to stick it to her ugly friend. To sort of say "haha, I got the boy" and then she dated you a little while. Did she do anything with you or was she just seen out with you?
Hurrem sultana
11-17-2012, 01:27 AM
In my experience, the ugly girls compensated by being "fun", so the boring pretty girls would pair up with the ugly fun ones and go out. The guys would be attracted to the pretty one but end up going home with the fun one.
But yes, the ugly ones always stab the pretty ones in the back eventually.
Only if the pretty one rejects him,because even if the pretty one is dead boring the guy will prefer her over an ugly fun girl
Dandelion
11-17-2012, 01:30 AM
Women talk more to one another about the details of their sex life (or at least lie more about it, but the detail is there). Because of this the greatest common divisor plays a more major role in women, thus stuck-up sexuality and prudishness are also more enforced upon one another I guess. Men on the other hand, almost never talk about sexuality, think more about it nonetheless.
Frigga
11-17-2012, 01:33 AM
I think that this can happen, especially if you and a friend have been in a set pattern for a long time, and the one friend tries break free of an old pattern that they have been in.
Personally, this did happen to me. I had been friends with this one girl in high school, and she had been able to get guys, but only back in North Dakota, not at school, but I wasn't considered popular enough, and I was painfully shy, with large goofy glasses. So I didn't get any male attention when I was in high school, even though I really wanted a boyfriend. After we had graduated, we had stopped being close friends, but we independently started going to a particular honky tonk bar that allowed 18-20 year olds two nights a week, and we ended up socializing there. I finally started getting attention from guys, and was a social butterfly, soaking up the attention I had desperately craved in high school, and started competing with my friend unintentionally/intentionally. One night, a guy that came to the bar with one girl started dancing with me and my friend, and I was very intent on "winning" something finally. So, he went home with me, even though my friend and another girl (the girl he arrived with) wanted him. Get this: I was being called down upon by this friend of mine for needing to learn my place, and to get my act together! o.0 Excuse me? She would have gone home with him if he had chosen her, and "she would have had to learn her place", but because it was me, who had used to be a shy virgin when she first knew me, it was horrendously awful that I did what I did. Even though she would have done the exact same thing in my place.
And then a couple of months later, she shut me down with a guy that I had known longer than I had known her, and they ended up dating for a few months, and I never forgave her for that, because this was the one guy that had really liked me when I was still in school, but because he was my brother's best friend, my brother flat out told him "No way!" when approached about him dating me.
So, yes it does happen.
mysticism
11-17-2012, 01:34 AM
Only if the pretty one rejects him,because even if the pretty one is dead boring the guy will prefer her over an ugly fun girl
Do u consider yourself the pretty but boring girl, or an ugly fun one?
Women talk more to one another about the details of their sex life (or at least lie more about it, but the detail is there). Because of this the greatest common divisor plays a more major role in women, thus stuck-up sexuality and prudishness are also more enforced upon one another I guess. Men on the other hand, almost never talk about sexuality, think more about it nonetheless.
They talk about minor stuff, like boobs, blow jobs in general, shaving the pussy, those kind of things. But one girl is never going to describe her sex life with her boyfriend to another girl.
Hurrem sultana
11-17-2012, 01:36 AM
Do u consider yourself the pretty but boring girl, or an ugly fun one?
I have no isdea what do u think?:eek:
mysticism
11-17-2012, 01:38 AM
I have no isdea what do u think?:eek:
Have an opinion, it's an attractive quality :thumb001:
I think that this can happen, especially if you and a friend have been in a set pattern for a long time, and the one friend tries break free of an old pattern that they have been in.
Personally, this did happen to me. I had been friends with this one girl in high school, and she had been able to get guys, but only back in North Dakota, not at school, but I wasn't considered popular enough, and I was painfully shy, with large goofy glasses. So I didn't get any male attention when I was in high school, even though I really wanted a boyfriend. After we had graduated, we had stopped being close friends, but we independently started going to a particular honky tonk bar that allowed 18-20 year olds two nights a week, and we ended up socializing there. I finally started getting attention from guys, and was a social butterfly, soaking up the attention I had desperately craved in high school, and started competing with my friend unintentionally/intentionally. One night, a guy that came to the bar with one girl started dancing with me and my friend, and I was very intent on "winning" something finally. So, he went home with me, even though my friend and another girl (the girl he arrived with) wanted him. Get this: I was being called down upon by this friend of mine for needing to learn my place, and to get my act together! o.0 Excuse me? She would have gone home with him if he had chosen her, and "she would have had to learn her place", but because it was me, who had used to be a shy virgin when she first knew me, it was horrendously awful that I did what I did. Even though she would have done the exact same thing in my place.
And then a couple of months later, she shut me down with a guy that I had known longer than I had known her, and they ended up dating for a few months, and I never forgave her for that, because this was the one guy that had really liked me when I was still in school, but because he was my brother's best friend, my brother flat out told him "No way!" when approached about him dating me.
So, yes it does happen.
Are you sure that is what she meant? I've had friends that have been very embarrassing when they have tried to get attention from guys. Maybe she felt that you behaved in an embarrassing way?
I think I have seen this before. A girl has liked a guy for a really long time. For one reason or another she is forced to spend time with both the boy and her prettier friend. She gets really freaked about it, because she thinks that the pretty friend wants to steal her boy away. So she acts really awkward.
Hurrem sultana
11-17-2012, 01:42 AM
Have an opinion, it's an attractive quality :thumb001:
I have no opinion:confused:
mysticism
11-17-2012, 01:44 AM
I have no opinion:confused:
That explains it then :rolleyes:
Hurrem sultana
11-17-2012, 01:45 AM
That explains it then :rolleyes:
so i am the boring one? :(
mysticism
11-17-2012, 01:47 AM
so i am the boring one? :(
Don't cry! Things'll get better :thumb001:
Frigga
11-17-2012, 01:47 AM
Are you sure that is what she meant? I've had friends that have been very embarrassing when they have tried to get attention from guys. Maybe she felt that you behaved in an embarrassing way?
Who knows? But I think it was because all my friends thought I was a whore for what I did. And it's not like she wasn't doing the exact same things as I was.
:picard2:
Who knows? But I think it was because all my friends thought I was a whore for what I did. And it's not like she wasn't doing the exact same things as I was.
:picard2:
It's okay for a hot chick to act like a whore (think porn star). It's not okay for an ugly chick to act like a whore.
Hurrem sultana
11-17-2012, 01:56 AM
If she is a whore than she is low grade girl,as you said :D she should be a whore only to one man,the more partners she has had the less value she has
mysticism
11-17-2012, 01:59 AM
The meaning of life is to share your talents with the world around you.
A beautiful woman not dressing sexy and sharing her beauty and love with as many guys as possible is a crime against humanity.
If she is a whore than she is low grade girl,as you said :D she should be a whore only to one man,the more partners she has had the less value she has
A hot chick can do whatever she wants. A hot chick that fucks 100 guys is respectable. An ugly girl that fucks two guys is a whore.
Dandelion
11-17-2012, 02:02 AM
They talk about minor stuff, like boobs, blow jobs in general, shaving the pussy, those kind of things. But one girl is never going to describe her sex life with her boyfriend to another girl.
Or lie about it (what I also mentioned). What about talking about 'not shaving' the pussy around friends who believe you 'have to shave it or other wise it's 'disgusting''? Peer pressure plays more a role in females than in males in this regard I think.
It's minor, though, I think, it's mostly around dumb people male and female people have to pretend to be less individualistic (the greatest common denominator as I told).
Hurrem sultana
11-17-2012, 02:03 AM
A hot chick can do whatever she wants. A hot chick that fucks 100 guys is respectable. An ugly girl that fucks two guys is a whore.
How does that work with your theory about virginity? :D
The meaning of life is to share your talents with the world around you.
A beautiful woman not dressing sexy and sharing her beauty and love with as many guys as possible is a crime against humanity.
Feel free to get an hooker so.
mysticism
11-17-2012, 02:05 AM
Feel free to get an hooker so.
I'm not to blame for the meaning of life. :D
Or lie about it (what I also mentioned). What about talking about 'not shaving' the pussy around friends who believe you 'have to shave it or other wise it's 'disgusting''? Peer pressure plays more a role in females than in males in this regard I think.
It's minor, though, I think, it's mostly around dumb people male and female people have to pretend to be less individualistic (the greatest common denominator as I told).
Women who don't shave the pussy don't have friends to talk to in the first place. At least not in my age group. Or they're rather friends with each other. I don't know, I've never talked to women like that.
I'm not to blame for the meaning of life. :D
You're right on this point... I'll share my thoughts with you about women : they're all whores except my mother...What's your thoughts about the subject?
How does that work with your theory about virginity? :D
Ugly women have only two things to offer, their virginity and their fidelity. So if an ugly girl is not a virgin and/or chaste, she's not worth anything.
A hot woman has hotness to offer. Hotness is more valuable, than virginity or chastity. A hot woman can afford to do whatever she wants because she sells herself on her hotness. Nobody cares if Jenna Jameson is not a virgin, she can still get the men she wants.
Dandelion
11-17-2012, 02:12 AM
Women who don't shave the pussy don't have friends to talk to in the first place. At least not in my age group. Or they're rather friends with each other. I don't know, I've never talked to women like that.
I think you don't know much about the world in that case if you genuinely think women who don't shave are always unattractive and vice versa. Maybe your burqa isolates you too much from the world outside the internet.
I think you don't know much about the world in that case if you genuinely think women who don't shave are always unattractive and vice versa. Maybe your burqa isolates you too much from the world outside the internet.
Whenever I'm around naked women, it's always the ugly girls that don't shave.
Dandelion
11-17-2012, 02:16 AM
Whenever I'm around naked women, it's always the ugly girls that don't shave.
Brings us to the question: who is ugly? I somehow don't think the idea of ugly and beautiful of many forumites (including you and me) doesn't deviate too much from a certain pattern. Sure, I don't think of Jenna Jameson (was illustrative anyway) when I think attractive, but I neither do when I think ugly (doesn't get me off though, too plastic and unreal).
Or rather, our ideas of ugly are more or less the same I think.
mysticism
11-17-2012, 02:18 AM
My thoughts? Women are more emotional and insecure than men, so they are more likely to cheat on you or be careless.
Brings us to the question: who is ugly? I somehow don't think the idea of ugly and beautiful of many forumites (including you and me) doesn't deviate too much from a certain pattern. Sure, I don't think of Jenna Jameson (was illustrative anyway) when I think attractive, but I neither do when I think ugly (doesn't get me off though, too plastic and unreal).
Or rather, our ideas of ugly are more or less the same I think.
With ugly I mean asymmetrical features, fat, disproportionate, bad skin, bad hair, bad demeanour such as a slouching walk, lack of sex appeal, a woman that just doesn't look right. Those are the women that also don't shave their pussies.
If you want to see a woman that gets away with not shaving look at Bobbi Starr. She is a 10.
Óttar
11-17-2012, 02:28 AM
I read a sociological study of women in a Latin American country that said that women act adversarially toward other women that are giving it up too easily because then there is no incentive for a man to chase a woman and spend his resources on her in exchange for sex. I'm getting more and more convinced of the direct correlation between wealth and a man's ability to get laid. Of course there are broke men who have a lot of charisma and can get women to take care of them, but they are the exception not the rule.
My thoughts? Women are more emotional and insecure than men, so they are more likely to cheat on you or be careless.
They're not emotional IMO, just unstable. Between that they're also mentaly ill for some of them.
The USA has long had the highest rates of mental illness in the world, but the latest reports on the extent of it are still pretty shocking: mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010.
Among the highlights, people in the 50-plus age bracket had the lowest incidence of any mental illness (14.3%), while those ages 18 to 25 had the highest, at 29.9%. Women had higher rates than men: 23% versus 16.8%.
When broken down by racial and ethnic groups, the highest rates of mental illness were seen among people who reported two or more races (25.4%), followed by whites (20.6%), blacks (19.7%), Native Americans or Alaska natives (18.7%), Hispanics (18.3%) and Asians (15.8%).
This is an important story for American men looking to maintain perspective: at least a quarter of the women you run into at any given time are not going to be alright upstairs. When you take into consideration that the highly sought after 18-25 demographic has even higher illness rates and that many of the mentally ill go undiagnosed, you could be looking at a vastly higher proportion of crazy girls, possibly approaching 50%.
This can make success in the game a little tougher to quantify because a less than desirable outcome with any given girl could just as easily be due to the mental instability of your target as it could be to your own failings. When dealing with a mentally unstable girl, even the right moves can lead to her lashing out at you for no apparent reason.
This female mental health story doesn’t stop there. Have you ever wondered about the unusually high prevalence of female obesity in the USA? How is it possible that so many morbidly obese women can justify their appearance with absurd rationalizations that they possess “real womanhood”, “huge (read: fat) racks” and “womanly curves,” among other patently absurd claims? Have you grimaced as you watched some go as far as to eliminate even slightly overweight men as dating options, despite their own inability to stay at a normal size?
There are no coincidences here: obesity is corellated with mental illness.
University of Tasmania researchers studied data collected from 1,135 girls in 1985, and again 20 years later, and found “persistent obesity” was linked to the mood disorder…
“[Obese women] had twice the risk of depression, so it was quite a strong effect, ” he said.
“The researchers do not see the same effect in boys or men.”
Another article expands on this link:
Psychological disorders which obesity may trigger include depression, eating disorders, distorted body image, and low self-esteem.
Obese people have been found several times to have higher rates of depression. For example, David A. Kats, MD and colleagues at the University of Wisconsin-Madison assessed quality of life in 2,931 patients with chronic health conditions including obesity. They found that clinical depression was highest in very obese participants (BMI over 35).
Evidence from the Swedish Obese Subjects (SOS) study indicates that clinically significant depression is three to four times higher in severely obese individuals than in similar non-obese individuals.
This final study shows the correlation more clearly:
Obesity was significantly associated with any mood disorder (OR 1.23), major depressive disorder (OR 1.27), any anxiety disorder (OR 1.46), and most strongly with some individual anxiety disorders such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (OR 2.64).
Scary isn't it?
Dandelion
11-17-2012, 02:37 AM
With ugly I mean asymmetrical features, fat, disproportionate, bad skin, bad hair, bad demeanour such as a slouching walk, lack of sex appeal, a woman that just doesn't look right. Those are the women that also don't shave their pussies.
If you want to see a woman that gets away with not shaving look at Bobbi Starr. She is a 10.
I agree, I wanted to sum up a long list myself. I think you named the most important points (fat, bad skin, bad hair, prudishness, etc...). I only disagree with the last sentence of your first paragraph of course. Example of attractive women who doesn't shave for instance Sativa Verte (I can name more, but I'm naming a more famous mainstream one).
Absinthe
11-17-2012, 08:29 AM
I don't know about sex explicitly but I am beginning to understand what you're suggesting here Mary.
I have both hot and average looking female friends and I have noticed the following.
A girl friend of mine who is super hot and very attending of her looks has always been picking on my looks, giving me advice on how to perfect my hair, my make up, my dress style, telling me I need to lose weight whenever I gain a couple of kilos, etc. To be honest her perfectionism is kind of frustrating too, but I must admit she strives for a flawless appearance and for the most part she is getting it.
She is 38 now and looks 28-30. When she was in her 20s all the guys were at her feet - literally, as she was also in the BDSM scene when she studied in England and she was a famous mistress :p She has been in a long term relationship for the last ten years but she still minds her looks very much.
Now I have two other girl friends who are in their early 30s and have entirely neglected their looks. They are both fat and one is in a relationship whereas the other one hasn't had a man in 3 years or more.
They both tell me, whenever they see me, that "I have lost too much weight". That I don't need to train so hard and so frequently, that "women must have their curves" and that "men prefer chubby women over skinny ones". One of them was insisting I need to eat foods as fatty as possible because my body needs them. I also suspect the other one has casually fucked an ex boyfriend of mine, with whom I am not on speaking terms anymore, a couple of times.
So my point is, perhaps women who are desirable and sexually successful will not carry that complex and will also help other women become equally desirable.
Whereas women who are more average or downright unattractive will subconsciously try to bring other women down to their level of undesirability.
So if that's what you were suggesting, then I'd say you're right.
Albion
11-17-2012, 09:22 AM
so i am the boring one? :(
No, you're the attractive one, silly. ;)
Albion
11-18-2012, 07:57 PM
She probably did this to stick it to her ugly friend. To sort of say "haha, I got the boy" and then she dated you a little while. Did she do anything with you or was she just seen out with you?
Yes, we did it in a caravan like a pair of gypos. :D We didn't go out for long though, she ditched me for someone else. :(
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