Bosnian jokes

[Hurrem sultana]

Student je pao na ispitu iz logike.
Evo razgovora sa profesorom tom prilikom.


Student: Vi me kaznjavate, razumete li uopste vi nesto o tome?

Profesor: Naravno, inace ne bih bio profesor.

Student: OK, pitacu vas nesto. Ako znate tacan odgovor, dobijam peticu i odlazim. Ako ne znate odgovor, dacete mi desetku.

Profesor (nakon kraceg razmisljanja): OK, prihvatam!

Student: Sta je legalno (zakonito) a nije logicno, sta je logicno a nije legalno, a sta nije ni logicno ni legalno?

Profesor je dugo razmisljao, ali nije nasao pravi odgovor i dao je studentu desetku. Nakon toga ga je pitao za odgovor.

Student odmah odgovori: Vi imate 53 godine i ozenjeni ste jednom 23-godisnjakinjom; to je legalno, ali nije logicno.
Vasa zena ima 24-godisnjaka za ljubavnika, sto je logicno, ali nije legalno.
Vi dajete desetku ljubavniku vase zene, iako je trebao pasti na ispitu, sto nije ni
logicno, ni legalno.

[memobekes]

If you were to translate these jokes word for word into Serbo-Croatian, would they still retain the same meanings?

[Hurrem sultana]

If you were to translate these jokes word for word into Serbo-Croatian, would they still retain the same meanings?

you mean english?:rolleyes:

[memobekes]

No, specifically Serbian and Croatian because even just a word can make a big difference.

[Hurrem sultana]

this one can be translated into any language and it will be same,i guess only if you have very different sense of humour it wont be same

[memobekes]

Well not really because when i sometimes want to translate a Turkish joke into English, the outcome that i'm looking for doesn't always go according to plan. They usually don't make much sense. Even with our curse words, if you translate them into English they either don't make sense or they're just funny.

[Hurrem sultana]

Well not really because when i sometimes want to translate a Turkish joke into English, the outcome that i'm looking for doesn't always go according to plan. They usually don't make much sense. Even with our curse words, if you translate them into English they either don't make sense or they're just funny.

I know what you mean,some jokes can not be translated,but the one i posted can,or so i think :D

[Insuperable]

Its very good one:thumb001:

[Hurrem sultana]

Objašnjava učiteljica matematiku Bosancu. . .
- Ako ti imaš 100 KM, a ja ti uzmem 50 KM, koliko će ti ostat ?
- Štaš' bona ti uzet ?!
:D :D :D

[Mraz]

Zivotni moto Crnogorca:
Kad se jede : jedem
Kad se pije : pijem
Kad se radi : ne smetam

Montenegrian jokes are the best :P

[Aura]

Once I saw a short documentary about the origin of bosnians in Albania. And the story was really interesting. Back in otoman empire, few bosnian people wanted to go in Turkey(Istanbul), so they sailed with the ship through adriatic sea, after few days they reached the albanian city of Durres, and they asked the local population if this is Turkey, and they answered that yes this is Turkey, (meaning for the otoman empire), so they went to live in Albania and stayed there for forever :)

[Hurrem sultana]

Takmicili se Hrvat Srbin i Bosanac cija je medicina vise napredovala. Kaze Hrvat:
- "Mi covijeka otvorimo i zatvorimo a on opet ziv."
Kaze Srbin:
- "Nije to nista, mi covijeku izvadimo oci i stavimo klikere i on opet vidi."
Kaze Bosanac:
... - "Ma nije to nista: mi covijeku odsijecemo glavu i opet zasijemo i on opet ziv."
Pita njeg Srbin:
- "Daj bre, sta ti je, ko je to vidio."
Kaze on njemu:
- "Taj tvoj s klikerima...
:D

[Hurrem sultana]

Once I saw a short documentary about the origin of bosnians in Albania. And the story was really interesting. Back in otoman empire, few bosnian people wanted to go in Turkey(Istanbul), so they sailed with the ship through adriatic sea, after few days they reached the albanian city of Durres, and they asked the local population if this is Turkey, and they answered that yes this is Turkey, (meaning for the otoman empire), so they went to live in Albania and stayed there for forever :)

lol,you trying to say we are stupid? :P:D

[Aura]

lol,you trying to say we are stupid? :P:D

Not really, I think it's both sides fault, anyway the story is funny :)

[Hurrem sultana]

Not really, I think it's both sides fault, anyway the story is funny :)

Yeah i agree ,hence why we have small bosnian communities from Kosovo to Macedonia ,they all thought they were in Turkey :D

[Alenka]

This one is cruel but oh well... :D

Šetaju se po livadi Mujo i Fata. Prva ide Fata a za njom Mujo. Negdje dalje iza njih je i Suljo. Gleda ih tako začuđeno Suljo pa mu neda mira, te se zadera i reče: "Mujo brate, pa nije po muslimansko, da žena hoda ispred čovjeka!" Okrene se Mujo pa mu odgovori: "Nije po muslimansko al jest po minskom polju!"

[Hurrem sultana]

This one is cruel but oh well... :D

Šetaju se po livadi Mujo i Fata. Prva ide Fata a za njom Mujo. Negdje dalje iza njih je i Suljo. Gleda ih tako začuđeno Suljo pa mu neda mira, te se zadera i reče: "Mujo brate, pa nije po muslimansko, da žena hoda ispred čovjeka!" Okrene se Mujo pa mu odgovori: "Nije po muslimansko al jest po minskom polju!"

I love Mujo,Huso ,Haso jokes :D

this one is good too:

Pita mali Mujica tatu:

-Tata u čemu je razlika između 'besplatno' i 'džabe'?

- Vidi sine - ti ideš u školu besplatno...Ali džabe.

[dado]

well bosnians r really stupid :D...why is the fist joke in serbian:lightbul:

[Hurrem sultana]

Ide hodza ulicom , sretne Pericu i pita ga :
-Izvini molim te , gdje se ovdje nalazi dzamija ?
- Kaze Perica : Necu ti rec'.
- Kaze Hodza : Dijete moje ti nikada neces uci u Dzennet.
- Kaze Perica : Neces ni ti u Dzamiju!! xD :D

[Mraz]

Išao Mujo polagati vozački ispit po peti put. Vraća se on kući nakon ispita, i pita ga Fata: -I kako je bilo?
-Ma pusti me bolan, opet sam pao, reče Mujo.
-Jebao me u krivini, jebao me u pravcu, jebao me na semaforu!
-Vidiš ti to, veli Fata, mene samo jebao u garaži, i ja. :D

[mysticism]

these are really funny. but the biggest joke to me is when i hear a bosnian accent :)

[Methmatician]

these are really funny. but the biggest joke to me is when i hear a bosnian accent :)

Is there such a thing?

[mysticism]

Is there such a thing?

? a bosnian accent? :confused:

[Sultan Suleiman]

Is there such a thing?

Tarik Filipović has a typical middle class Bosnian accent.

qr5jaHcjrR0

[Hurrem sultana]

Is there such a thing?

Uhm..stay in Australia:picard1:

[Hurrem sultana]

Tarik Filipović has a typical middle class Bosnian accent.

qr5jaHcjrR0

what is the low class accent,and elite eccent then:rolleyes:

[Methmatician]

I mean, would the accent of Bosnians really be called "Bosnian". What makes it separate to any other accent on Earth?

[Hurrem sultana]

I mean, would the accent of Bosnians really be called "Bosnian". What makes it separate to any other accent on Earth?

the fact it exists only in bosnia

[Sultan Suleiman]

what is the low class accent,and elite eccent then:rolleyes:

Do you really want to know about low class? :rolleyes: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9lg-MP4OZM)


_lsylZuBwbs


And this is higher class, accent of the academically educated folk to which I strive for.

[Hurrem sultana]

the low class dude at least sounds fun :P :D

[Sultan Suleiman]

the low class dude at least sounds fun :P :D

It's sounds vulgar, and just wants to make me rip out his vocal cords with tweezers.

[mysticism]

I mean, would the accent of Bosnians really be called "Bosnian". What makes it separate to any other accent on Earth?

There's a bosnian accent, in contrast to a montenegrin or dalmatian accent, for example.

Perfect example here, petar bozovic in a total bosno accent
JU57dqooq4Q

[Methmatician]

the fact it exists only in bosnia

It's a regional accent. I wouldn't call it a "Bosnian" accent.

[Mraz]

igNv7Rduayw
:D

It's just that seljaci speak too much, if I wouldn't be Belgianized, I'd also be a redneck.

[Hurrem sultana]

igNv7Rduayw
:D

It's just that seljaci speak too much, if I wouldn't be Belgianized, I'd also be a redneck.

wtf :D

[Sultan Suleiman]

JU57dqooq4Q

That is not Bosnian accent, the most proper Bosnian accent is the one spoken by the guy in debate.

[Hurrem sultana]

That is not Bosnian accent, the most proper Bosnian accent is the one spoken by the guy in debate.

and how many dudes speak like him? i think the suicide guy is actually the most typical one :D

[mysticism]

That is not Bosnian accent, the most proper Bosnian accent is the one spoken by the guy in debate.

ne vidi sumu iz bukve....:D

[Sultan Suleiman]

and how many dudes speak like him? i think the suicide guy is actually the most typical one :D

Better question is how many productive academically educated citizens Bosniaks have? And there you will find your answer.

Suicide "guy" is not the most common in general population, but it is predominant accent among second generation of migrants in Sarajevo. Call me a snob, but it sounds rather disgusting if you ask me, and doesn't do any honor to our language. :coffee:

[Hurrem sultana]

Better question is how many productive academically educated citizens Bosniaks have? And there you will find your answer.

Suicide "guy" is not the most common in general population, but it is predominant accent among second generation of migrants in Sarajevo. Call me a snob, but it sounds rather disgusting if you ask me, and doesn't do any honor to our language. :coffee:

And how do you sound:picard1:

[mysticism]

i'm sure the original bosnian language in the kotor nautical books sounded much classier

[Mraz]

I imagine Vrh speaking like Hadzifejzovic the journalist. :O

[Sultan Suleiman]

ne vidi sumu iz bukve....:D

I said proper Bosniak accent, equivalent of that is saying that this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhE88Tp4I6U)is the correct version of language which made this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_AyJPJQ8og).

[Hurrem sultana]

I imagine Vrh speaking like Hadzifejzovic the journalist. :O

well no he does not,his accent is very gay sarajevski :P:D:D:D

[Mans not hot]

Pity that Vrhbosnian Vanguard don't teach me how to have Bosnian sense of humor. :(

[Sultan Suleiman]

well no he does not,his accent is very gay :P:D:D:D

Blame the shity microphone, I sound like a robot with it :(

[Mraz]

well no he does not,his accent is very gay sarajevski :P:D:D:D

Don't say this now I'll read him with this accent :(

V5qAjwS43HI

[dralos]

Yeah i agree ,hence why we have small bosnian communities from Kosovo to Macedonia ,they all thought they were in Turkey :D
those were albanians who after islamization got slavized by serbs

[Hurrem sultana]

lol yeah right :D

[dralos]

its true there never were any bosniaks in southbalkan but they appeared after slavization of albanians,montenegro is full with them,sandzak is also full with them

[Sultan Suleiman]

those were albanians who after islamization got slavized by serbs

Well they don't want to speak your godless language any more :thumb001:

[Hurrem sultana]

whatever do not troll this thread with your BS

[dralos]

Well they don't want to speak your godless language any more :thumb001:
you think they like speaking the devils language

[Hurrem sultana]

Došao Mujo iz Njemačke i odmah navali na Fatu. A ona odlična u krevetu. Kaže Mujo:
-Dobro Fato, odakle znaš sve to u krevetu?
-Pa gledala sam porniće
Mujo joj opizdi šamar:
-Gledam i ja Bundesligu pa ne igram u Bayernu!!

:D

[archangel]

bosnian language seems sexy on a girl just dont fit dudes for me:)

[Hurrem sultana]

bosnian language seems sexy on a girl just dont fit dudes for me:)

I think it fits more men than women,,bosnian guys can sound soo sexy :P

[archangel]

actually all slavic languages fit females rather than males,most of them sound femine to my ears

[Behemot]

Hallooo, ovdje Mujo, je l' to Parlament BiH ?
- Jeste gospodine, a šta želite ?
- Hoću da postanem član Parlamenta, šta mi za to treba ?
- Jesi ti čovječe lud ?
- Jesam, je l' treba još nešto?

[Hurrem sultana]

actually all slavic languages fit females rather than males,most of them sound femine to my ears

what language is masculine in your ears?

[archangel]

behemot i tried to translate it on googletranslate and understand nothing sorry:D

[archangel]

german:D

[Hurrem sultana]

Šta prvo crkne kod Nokie 3310?
-Vlasnik.

[Behemot]

behemot i tried to translate it on googletranslate and understand nothing sorry:D

-Helloooo,this is Mujo,is that Bosnian Parlament?
-Yes,mister,it is......how can I help you ?
-I wan't to become Parlament member ! What do I need for that ?
-Are you crazy man ?
-Yes,do I also need something else ?

[Behemot]

Dino Merlin se konačno izjasnio povodom brojnih optužbi da je plagirao mnoge svjetske hitove:- "Moje pjesme nisu plagijati i bolje su od originala!"
:D:D:D

[archangel]

lol thats a good one worldwide politicans are used for jokes i guess:)

[mysticism]

Dino Merlin se konačno izjasnio povodom brojnih optužbi da je plagirao mnoge svjetske hitove:- "Moje pjesme nisu plagijati i bolje su od originala!"
:D:D:D

this one's good :D

[Behemot]

Mujo i Suljo pričaju o svojim ženidbama, svatovima i ostalom

I veli Mujo:
- Meni je najdraže kad pustim snimku svadbe unazad i sjednem pa
gledam...
- Što, bolan?

- Pa... muzika vraća pare, janje se sastavi... a Fata ode kući materi.

[Sultan Suleiman]

Mujo i Suljo pričaju o svojim ženidbama, svatovima i ostalom

I veli Mujo:
- Meni je najdraže kad pustim snimku svadbe unazad i sjednem pa
gledam...
- Što, bolan?

- Pa... muzika vraća pare, janje se sastavi... a Fata ode kući materi.

:D

[Methmatician]

mpxP7WriE6w

[Duke]

Kako Bosanac muči muhu?
Zatvori je u teglicu i ispred nje jede govna.

[Hurrem sultana]

mpxP7WriE6w

ajjjj Allahuuuu umireem:D:D:D:D

[Hurrem sultana]

Deda i baka odluče da se igraju mladih dana..
-Deda: Idem ja u park k'o nekada da te čekam, a ti dođi tamo nekad', ok?!
-Otišao deda.. Čeka 1 sat, bake nema, čeka 2 sata, nje opet nema..a zima, magla, smrz'o se deda,i vratio se kući..
-Deda: Pa bona što nisi došla??
-Baka: Pa k'o fol mi nije dala mama..
:D