Murphy
09-19-2009, 05:02 PM
Corsets - an Apostolic Constitution from St Eóin of the Church of Phleg
with the official blessings of St Lutiferre
All women are here by commanded upon pain of death to wear corsets.
Generally speaking a corset has three effects on your body:
1. it makes your waist smaller,
2. it lifts and supports your bosom,
3. it improves your posture.
Those three effects are the reason why corsets have survived such a long time; they enhance the beauty, elegance, femininity and attractivity of each woman. The effects number 1. and 2. are consequences of the pressure which the corsets exerts on the waist and lower ribcage. Effect number 3. is due to the stiffening busks in the corset.
Aside from these main effects corsets have, of course, other, agreeable impacts on your body:
1. if the corset is long enough below the waist, then it makes your belly perfectly flat,
2. if the corset is long enough above the waist, then you can dispense with bras, for your bosom is supported by the corset,
3. the corset supports your back when you have to sit on a chair for a long time; this is comfortable and it makes sense from an orthopaedic point of view.
To sum up it can be said that corset-wearing has the following effects: a small waist, a beautiful bosom, a flat belly and an erect posture. Aren't these things desirable for every lady? They all influence your appearance positively. This I will explain in more detail below.
This Sacred Tradition also has its roots in the Sacred Gospel of the Phleg.
11And the Phleg said the woman shall wear the corset, to enhance her natural beauties for the pleasure of The Man and The Phleg. 12 She must be desirable to look upon and in The Phleg's own half-arsed attempt at Creation he had failed in giving all woman the neatural greatness that he bestowed on every Man. 13 It is therefore decreed that all woman shall wear the corset on pain of death and reincarnation as a lesser attractive woman so that she can stew in the knowledge that her ugliness cannot be healed by the use of the corset she was previously offered.
Lutiodus, Chapter 17, verse 11-13.
Signed,
St Eóin, Patriarch of Low Brow discussion and the Irish section; St Lutiferre, Patriarch of pagan-pwning and High Brow Intellectualism and Lord of All Scandinavia.
with the official blessings of St Lutiferre
All women are here by commanded upon pain of death to wear corsets.
Generally speaking a corset has three effects on your body:
1. it makes your waist smaller,
2. it lifts and supports your bosom,
3. it improves your posture.
Those three effects are the reason why corsets have survived such a long time; they enhance the beauty, elegance, femininity and attractivity of each woman. The effects number 1. and 2. are consequences of the pressure which the corsets exerts on the waist and lower ribcage. Effect number 3. is due to the stiffening busks in the corset.
Aside from these main effects corsets have, of course, other, agreeable impacts on your body:
1. if the corset is long enough below the waist, then it makes your belly perfectly flat,
2. if the corset is long enough above the waist, then you can dispense with bras, for your bosom is supported by the corset,
3. the corset supports your back when you have to sit on a chair for a long time; this is comfortable and it makes sense from an orthopaedic point of view.
To sum up it can be said that corset-wearing has the following effects: a small waist, a beautiful bosom, a flat belly and an erect posture. Aren't these things desirable for every lady? They all influence your appearance positively. This I will explain in more detail below.
This Sacred Tradition also has its roots in the Sacred Gospel of the Phleg.
11And the Phleg said the woman shall wear the corset, to enhance her natural beauties for the pleasure of The Man and The Phleg. 12 She must be desirable to look upon and in The Phleg's own half-arsed attempt at Creation he had failed in giving all woman the neatural greatness that he bestowed on every Man. 13 It is therefore decreed that all woman shall wear the corset on pain of death and reincarnation as a lesser attractive woman so that she can stew in the knowledge that her ugliness cannot be healed by the use of the corset she was previously offered.
Lutiodus, Chapter 17, verse 11-13.
Signed,
St Eóin, Patriarch of Low Brow discussion and the Irish section; St Lutiferre, Patriarch of pagan-pwning and High Brow Intellectualism and Lord of All Scandinavia.