And the best in bed award goes to...?

[Beorn]

German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place


A poll of 15,000 women found that Germans are considered "too smelly".
English lovers came second because they are so lazy, while men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came third.

Spanish men topped the table as the best lovers, followed by Brazilians and Italians.
The poll, carried out by global research site www.OnePoll.com (http://www.onepoll.com/), asked women from 20 countries to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers.
Germans were deemed to have bad body odour, Englishmen were accused of letting women do all the work, whilst Swedes were a bit too quick to finish.
Men from Holland were "too rough" between the bed covers and Americans were accused of being "too dominating" in the bedroom.

Greek men were said to be a bit too soppy.

Other countries who didn't fare well in the poll were Scotland (too loud), Turkey (too sweaty) and Wales (too selfish). Finnish men (were too self obsessed with Russians) whilst the women polled said Latvian men were too busy listening and agreeing with the Finnish men to do anything worthwhile.

Russian men crept in at tenth place amid accusations they are too hairy for the average woman.

A spokesperson for www.OnePoll.com (http://www.onepoll.com/) added: ''These results are an eye-opener for thousands of men around the world and female travellers might judge potential new lovers by looking at these results.''

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:

1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)

WORLD'S BEST LOVERS

1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada

Source (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6241440/German-men-are-worlds-worst-lovers-with-English-men-in-second-place.html)

Why don't these polls ever ask the men what they think about the women. They would be far more interesting. They certainly are more different and varied.

[Aemma]

Source (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6241440/German-men-are-worlds-worst-lovers-with-English-men-in-second-place.html)

Why don't these polls ever ask the men what they think about the women. They would be far more interesting. They certainly are more different and varied.

Hmm do I detect a bit of sour grapes here? :P :D

[Lars]

Danish girls are too lazy! However, with that said I am a god in bed.

[Grey]

Danish girls are too lazy! However, with that said I am a god in bed.

I notice you don't specify which god. Are you perhaps admitting that you are as blind in bed as Höðr?


4. France

I see; so everyone hates the French 'til it's time to go to bed.

[Beorn]

Hmm do I detect a bit of sour grapes here? :P :D

Not at all. I actually agree with it. Englishmen are quite lazy in bed. I think it's down to sex overkill.
You enjoy more what you have had greater difficulty in attaining. Women of all nationalities tend to be too easy.* My time in Guernsey and hitting the tourist hotspots taught me that.



* Disclaimer: When I say 'all' I don't mean all women....pah! You should know what I mean.

[Lars]

I notice you don't specify which god. Are you perhaps admitting that you are as blind in bed as Höðr?



I see; so everyone hates the French 'til it's time to go to bed.

Freyr.

[Frigga]

I thought that this was a poll describing the Aprician who was best in bed before the page loaded! :P :pound:

[Vargtand]

Good thing I am a Göte then:P

[Lars]

I thought that this was a poll describing the Aprician who was best in bed before the page loaded! :P :pound:

Let's try that with empiricism and then have a poll.

[Grey]

I thought that this was a poll describing the Aprician who was best in bed before the page loaded! :P :pound:

Shh... that's where BeornWulfWer was going with this. In a moment he'll suggest that we have contest to find out and that he be the judge. It's all part of his plot to get into lei.talk's pants.

EDIT: Looks like Hejmdal beat him to it.

[Phlegethon]

I am an unrepentant smelly, hairy German. Who cares about what women think, anyway? And what kind of women can compare between men from all over Europe? I would not trust the verdict of skanks!

[Grey]

I am an unrepentant smelly, hairy German. Who cares about what women think, anyway? And what kind of women can compare between men from all over Europe? I would not trust the verdict of skanks!

Someone's bitter... ;)

[Rainraven]

I was fully expecting a 'Best Aprician in bed' poll. Disappointed... :tsk:

[sturmwalkure]

Finnish men (were too self obsessed with Russians) whilst the women polled said Latvian men were too busy listening and agreeing with the Finnish men to do anything worthwhile.

L M F A O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Phlegethon]

Someone's bitter... ;)

Not really. I am the kind of guy who sleeps in his bed.

And as I am already both the funiest and the most miserable Ape Citizen I'll leave the "best in bed" title to someone who cares. ;)

[Stefan]

So half of my male ancestors were the best and half were the worst? Hm... Anyway I think they are all based on stereotypes.

[Gwynyvyr]

I find the thing about men from Holland being "too rough" to be puzzling...huh...
Then again, I kinda like it rough..:rolleyes:

I also thought it was going to be an Apricity poll about which one of us is best in bed...
Of course, due to age and experience, I would be the winner, AND as the female winner I would be considerate enough to judge all the men on behalf of the women...;)

Warning to the fellas...anything under two hours is deemed *a quickie* in my book, and barely worth the effort....:D

[The Lawspeaker]

I find the thing about men from Holland being "too rough" to be puzzling...huh...
Then again, I kinda like it rough..:rolleyes:

I also thought it was going to be an Apricity poll about which one of us is best in bed...
Of course, due to age and experience, I would be the winner, AND as the female winner I would be considerate enough to judge all the men on behalf of the women...;)

Warning to the fellas...anything under two hours is deemed *a quickie* in my book, and barely worth the effort....:D
I wonder where this myth comes from...:confused:

[Sally]

Finnish men (were too self obsessed with Russians) whilst the women polled said Latvian men were too busy listening and agreeing with the Finnish men to do anything worthwhile.

The way that's worded makes it sound like the women had Latvian and Finnish men in the room with them at the same time, complaining to one another about Russians. :eek:

[Grey]

The way that's worded makes it sound like the women had Latvian and Finnish men in the room with them at the same time, complaining to one another about Russians. :eek:

Well it's a lot easier to have the guys all come to them than actually go to every country. I imagine there was a great crowd awaiting their turn.

[Brännvin]

Sweden (too quick) - Speed fucking :coffee: :D

[Grey]

They didn't even give Acadians a chance. Fuckers.

[Black Turlogh]

Source (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6241440/German-men-are-worlds-worst-lovers-with-English-men-in-second-place.html)

Why don't these polls ever ask the men what they think about the women. They would be far more interesting. They certainly are more different and varied.

Women have it too easy. They can get away with being "starfish" whereas men have to do the heavy lifting, as usual. :p

I'm surprised to see Ireland there. I would have expected to see something like this:

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:

1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)
11. Ireland (too drunk)

:D

[Phlegethon]

They drink to forget. ;)

[SuuT]

I am an unrepentant smelly, hairy German. Who cares about what women think, anyway? And what kind of women can compare between men from all over Europe? I would not trust the verdict of skanks!

Reminds me of a joke someone told me last evening:


If you're a woman with an intimate familiarity with the various consistencies of semen, you might be a Ho.

[Phlegethon]

Or you might get fired from your sperm bank job. ;)

[Rachel]

They drink to forget. ;)

So that's the reason my Irish lover did'nt call me back. That's really sad ;)

[Amapola]

Does it make Spanish girls be the best in bed too? :D

[Loki]

Does it make Spanish girls be the best in bed too? :D

Proof required. ;)

[Atlas]

The best girlfriends I've had were canadians, followed by americans.
(Never had a british girlfriend, nor a german)

[Tabiti]

4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
Personally I don't see anything so bad in those;)

Russia (too hairy)
What's the problem if we are talking about males (Europeid males)


1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
Personally, I don't find any of the nations above attracting, at least for my taste.
I think being "good in bed" or not depends on the personal point of view of your partner, not nationality, hair color, shoe and other sizes, etc...

[Jamt]

Nothing wrong with being quick. All this “all night long” and soul music lyrics is nothing but enemy propaganda. I mean, what the hell are you suppose to do after 5 minutes?

[Skandi]

Nothing wrong with being quick. All this “All night long” and soul music lyrics is nothing but enemy propaganda. I mean, what the hell are you suppose to do after 5 minutes?

Note to self Jamt = No :p

you shouldn't have started after 5 minutes!

[Tabiti]

Sometimes 5 minutes can be better than half an hour;)

[Amapola]

Personally, I don't find any of the nations above attracting, at least for my taste.
I think being "good in bed" or not depends on the personal point of view of your partner, not nationality, hair color, shoe and other sizes, etc...

We are sticking to a particular poll- this one, and the result depends of the capricious thoughts of some random woman of different nationalities, their mental clichés, stereotypes and maybe "some experience". Nothing else ;)

[Tabiti]

If someone asks me about how are local men in bed I really can't give a proper answer, first because everyone is different, second because my lack of great experience, third I don't have experience with foreign men. So how could I be objective? So, we reach the conclusion both the questions and participators are wrong. Damn statistics, stereotypes and popular opinion;) Mental mental clichés, indeed.

[Skandi]

Sometimes 5 minutes can be better than half an hour;)

True with some men 0 minutes would be best!

[anonymaus]

True with some men 0 minutes would be best!

Yes, I prefer 0 minutes with men also. :D

[Rachel]

I personally can get past the smell and hairyness of germans, but darnit you better be able to move those hips!

[Lady L]

You mean this whole thread isn't about Lyfing:D? Oh good, then I don't have to kick all ya'lls asses! :aufsmaul_2:

[Inese]

I personally can get past the smell and hairyness of germans, but darnit you better be able to move those hips!
Hm i know no German who smells and is a hairy wolf:rolleyes2: It is a prejudice!!? German boys and men are neat and tidy and considerate i have to make a good word for them!! :cool:I have no experience with South or Non-European people and i dont want to make experience with them they are not my type.

[Sigurd]

Of course we Germans are worst in bed. We are so work-efficient that love-making is usually executed in other, more interesting places, when we actually get into bed, it means that we're tired and want to sleep. :wink

Thus, being bad in bed doesn't mean we're bad lovers. Every woman loves a Teuton, and the world knows it. Full stop. :P

[Liffrea]

Englishmen are lazy! Utter codswolop! The English have (an unfair) reputation when it comes to sex. It’s remarkable really just because we don’t flaunt it we’re “repressed” yet the entire basis of English humour and much of our culture is based on sexual innuendo, bloody hell 90% of all my posts are sexual innuendo!

Anyone who knows the English knows that courtship is a delicate affair involving large amounts of alcohol, it’s as important to us as the correct equipment, we might come across as lazy but we’re not, a true Englishman will not walk up to a women and ask her for a shag (unless he really is shit faced). We need several pints before we wander over to make various inane (often insane) comments that usually turn out bollocks but often do the job, then (once we’re in the sack and if we haven’t passed out due to being to pissed) we’re away, and we make the French look like puffs. The Frenchman is all BS and front, the Englishman is substance.:D

The Germans I can believe but they're only human by default.:p

[Phlegethon]

The Germans I can believe but they're only human by default.:p

Don't ever call me human again!

[Germanicus]

Don't ever call me human again!

Ok you are a machine of the state, driven by the idea you must rule Europe/ world.

[Osweo]

The way that's worded makes it sound like the women had Latvian and Finnish men in the room with them at the same time, complaining to one another about Russians. :eek:
Quite feasible.

Just look up коммуналка...
http://img-2007-02.photosight.ru/28/1951048.jpg
The Soviet communal flat. One of Stalin's brainchilds, and an excellent means of fostering interethnic solidarity through enforced bodily proximity, I'm sure. ;)

But I advise against looking up Kommunalka porn. :eek:

[Beorn]

Englishman will not walk up to a women and ask her for a shag

Wanna bet? My mates and me used to take bets on who could pull the best out of ten using that as a chat up line.

[Mesrine]

we make the French look like puffs.

That's the impression you have while being drunk, but any sober (or less alcoholized) person in the place would tell another story.



The Frenchman is all BS and front, the Englishman is substance.:D

Substance? You mean alcohol? :D

[Barreldriver]

The results of the poll are not taking into account all the ladies that have not had the experience of being barreldriven. :D

[Osweo]

The results of the poll are not taking into account all the ladies that have not had the experience of being barreldriven. :D

Christ...

And I heard it comes in convoys... :eek:

[Barreldriver]

Christ...

And I heard it comes in convoys... :eek:

Cause we gotta little ol' convoy, rockin' through the night
Yeah we gotta little ol' convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way
We're gonna roll this truckin' convoy, cross the USA
Convoy... Convoy..

[Absinthe]

All of the sudden, the slogan "barreldrives your face!" has acquired a whole new meaning... :eek: