2DREZQ

In a small place in my heart rests a memory. Preserved like crystal of a rare any precious sort. Emotions play in diamond patterns across it.
Like a crystal jar kept high upon a shelf.
Treasured above all possessions.
Every day I sense that memory in passing, and always I wish I had the time to savor it then and there. But I know I cannot dwell on it, for that would never do in a world where things must be done.
Rarely, when time and circumstance permit, I take down the jar and transport it to a private place. As I sit in the silent sunlight I turn the jar and admire the patterns thrown by the light. I see the memory through the clear side of the jar.
Placing the jar on the table, I unfasten and remove the lid. Reaching in with caution, I remove the contents.
Here, exposed to the day, it is so fragile that even a sudden jolt may make it evaporate as the morning mist before the Risen Son.
It may return unaided after such a assault, or stay gone forever. One never knows for sure.
Why would anyone choose to handle that which is so rare and frail? Because a memory left to itself, though it posseses no life of its own, would die nevertheless. A memory, savored often, aquuires a patina of age and value like an antique.
Holding on to the memory, I savor the sight and sound and smell and taste and feel of it. I live the moment again from beginning to end. This cannot be shared. Who would want to, even if they could? Would hidden flaws arise in the objective gaze of one unattached to the beauty of the time when it was made?
At last, unwilling or no, I must restore it to the jar; for to much contemplation hurts as much as to little.
And so; the crystal jar is returned to its place on the high shelf,to be sensed and not known, until the next moment when solitude of the heart and body allow me to indulge again in the bittersweet in my nature.

We freely choose those things which we savor in solitude. To often we take down the jar of bitter herbs, then sit in silence, smoking cigarettes and drinking gin, while running again and again through the hate and the pain.