How to Understand Asexual People
Asexual people are people who experience no sexual attraction, although some asexuals, including but not limited to gray-asexuals do experience sexual attraction at one time or another. This does not mean that these people have a disorder, and they can be quite happy the way they are.
1. Note the difference between asexuality and celibacy. Asexuality is not the same thing as celibacy. Celibates are people who may have sexual attraction, but refrain from sexual activity, whereas asexuals have no sexual desires with any gender. Not all asexuals are celibate.
2. Don't confuse asexuals with homosexuals. Asexuals are not closeted homosexuals. Asexuals have no sexual attraction to their own gender, ruling homosexuality out as an orientation. Some asexuals are homoromantic, however. Asexuals are able to be romantically attracted, and can identify with many different romantic orientations (panromantic, biromantic, hetero-romantic, homoromantic, lithromantic, sapioromantic, etc).
3. Understand that asexuals are not people who have repressed their sexuality. Celibates refrain from having sex (temporarily, such as until marriage, or permanently, such as some priests), while asexuals usually have no sexual thoughts about their spouse even in a strong marriage.
4. Don't expect change. Asexuals will not change if they "meet the right person". Asexuals are usually born asexual and will usually be asexual for their entire lives, just like any other sexuality. Implying that they can be "fixed" is very insulting.
5. Understand their motivations. Asexuals are not against having non-sexual relationships. They just don't have the desire to engage in sex. Many asexuals have partners. Some have sex for a variety of reasons (emotional intimacy, reproduction, etc), though they are not sexually attracted to their partner. On the flip side, understand that some asexuals are sex-repulsed (meaning that sex may make them feel intensely uncomfortable, and even the thought of having sex or anything voyeuristic could make them feel literally sick.)
6. Being asexual does not mean they do not like touch. Just because a person is asexual does not mean that they do not like touch. They just do not have any desire for any kind of sexual touch. Some asexuals can be touch averse, however. Touch aversion and the lack thereof depend on the person and not their sexual orientation. It would be best to ask.
7. Avoid thinking of asexuals as having a disorder. It is not listed as a disorder in the DSM-IV. They do not choose to be asexual, and many asexuals are perfectly happy being asexual and feel that there is no need to "cure" asexuality. Being asexual usually changes little about a person's behavior; they may not even seem asexual by all outward appearances.
8. Understand that most asexuals are not asexual because they have been sexually abused. There is no known cause for being asexual, just as there is no known cause for any of the other sexual orientations.
Tips
An asexual person is the same person they were before they told you they were asexual. You don't need to treat them differently unless they specifically ask you to.
Don't be offended if he or she is not interested in a relationship. Understand that asexuals do not experience sexual attraction or experience very infrequent sexual attraction, so he/she will most likely turn you down if you just want to "hook up".
Grey-Asexuals are individuals who may become sexually attracted to others depending on the circumstance. Demisexuality, for example, is a kind of Grey-Asexual who can become sexually attracted to those they form strong bonds with.
A term used frequently is "ace", which is a shorthand version of the word "asexual".
Keep in mind romantic orientation is not the same as sexual orientation.
In addition, some asexuals are aromantic, meaning they either do not experience or have no interest in romantic relationships. If this is the case, then they will not be interested in a romantic relationship. Many asexuals are also wary of dating those who do experience sexual attraction, because they anticipate that their potential partner will expect sex or misc. sexual favors.
If you are in a romantic relationship with an asexual and you are a sexual person (heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, pansexual, etc), communication is vital for you and your partner to know what your partner is and is not comfortable with.
There are several symbols for asexuality. One is to wear a black ring on the middle finger of your right hand. Another is either the Ace of Spades or the Ace of Hearts. Yet another are the asexual colors: black, grey, white, and purple. Black stands for asexuality, grey for grey-asexuals, white for sexuals, and purple for community.