Forgive and Forget?

[Eldritch]

Do you believe in this?

If so, is it hard?

Do you ever want to extract revenge?

Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

Etc. Please discuss.

[Wölfin]

Do you believe in this?

Forgive, but NEVER forget. That is what I try to go by.

If so, is it hard?

It can be.

Do you ever want to extract revenge?

Most of the time I want to. Rarely will I go through though but it depends on the person and the offense.

Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

It can be, but once again it depends on the offense and the person.

Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

I don't demand to know, as I usually can tell.

Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

Sometimes, but usually unless it was a serious offense, I will forget it by the time I have an occasion

Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

Same gender.

Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

No.

Etc. Please discuss.

As I said I truly believe one should be able to forgive but never forget. However in very serious cases, I don't think even forgiveness is necessary, but there has to be a peace inside one's soul and mind in regards to the person. Like a very serious falling out with a friend, you can discuss things over although you may not forgive them. The important thing in this case is to be clear that you no longer want to be close to them but that if you meet them you remain civil/polite.

I don't know if my thoughts were conveyed clearly.

[Liffrea]

Me and my brother had an argument about politics, religion etc a few days ago, it got heated, I raised my voice (something I rarely do and I regretted but he’s a reasonably smart man and I get annoyed that he can be so bigoted and naive) and that was that. I’m reasonably slow to anger, very quick to come out of it, ten minutes later I had forgotten about it, he’s still sulking, I think he is wary because we usually get on fine (this is our first argument), now he knows I’m not the little boy he used to baby sit for (I’m 28 he’s 46).

Forgiveness? Depends on the sleight really, I’m not one for revenge or bearing a grudge against people, I can’t be bothered and I have better things to do with my time. If I have a problem with someone, or they have a problem with me, I like to deal with it there and then, saves time later on.

[Bari]

Do you believe in this?

- Depends.

If so, is it hard?

- Sometimes, sometimes not.

Do you ever want to extract revenge?

- Yes.

Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

- Mostly no. In some cases theres not a chanse of forgiving.

Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

- No, if it seems like they really mean it i forgive(and is forgivable offence). I never ask people if they mean it.

Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

- No, i never make amend with someone if i can't forgive it.

Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

- If its a female, perhaps. But depends on how serious the offence is.

Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

- No.

[Frigga]

Do you believe in this?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no, it really depends on what was done to me, and if it was unwarranted or not.

If so, is it hard?

Yes it is, I'm not very good at it.

Do you ever want to extract revenge?

What do you mean want? If the situation calls for it, I will, and have.

Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

It depends on the person, and what they've done to me. Personal example from my own life, my father molested me and endangered the life of my brother dozens of times driving home blind drunk, and was basically a drunk asshole to everyone in my family. I cannot and will not ever forgive him, no matter how many times he's asked as to what it was that he did wrong, and asked me to let him back in my life. I'm sorry. I'm holding this hatred of him till the day I die.

Now my sister in law has done things toward me, mainly trying to be controlling and tell me how to run my life, including forgiving my real father. I had held a bit of a grudge against her for that, but I am able to forgive her, she's only doing it out of a misguided sense of love.

Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

With my father? If I cared enough to even talk with him, I would demand to know if it was genuine. I would also not accept anything else than a publicly written apology.

Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

Hm, I'm too stubborn in my ways to be able to do that.

Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

I do have to say that reconciling with other women is easier than reconciling with men.

Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

Yes, see above.

[Allenson]

Foregivness, sure...but it certainly can be hard to forget, thoroughly & completely. Particularly so if one is purely innocent and the wrong-doing is conspiratorial in manner.

Yes, I've had urges of revenge in the past, though I've never acted upon this in a violent way--slitting a throat crossed my mind.

In the past, there have been a few times that I have felt deeply wronged and that I was very much in the 'right' (which is rare, beacause to use the cliche, there are always two or more sides to a story, happening, situation, etc.). Neither did I sit quiet and ignore matters, nor did I resort to physical aggression--but instead, I made my points known, verbally, argued my case and pointed out the unwarranted wrong-doings. For me, this is a good comprimise. I have enough self-pride to not just let things slide, so to say but have enough contraint to keep myself in check and not let my rage get the better of me.

[Svarog]

Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

I am always ready to forgive people, but in my honest opinion asking for forgiveness is selfish and usually meant just to make yourself feel better. So, I prefer people not to ask me to forgive them but let me come to them and do that, if I feel worth the effort, yes, I'll forgive and that's the only time it is honest

I have dishonestly 'forgave' things to people when asked, I never forgot tho, it means I was not ready to do that, but at least, they'll knew I am not waiting around the corner with a butcher cleave for them.

Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

That's exactly what I meant, I did not really think I am gonna mess you up or planned any retributions and shit, but I did not really forget or felt as we're good, which makes situation tense and not very pleasant for either parties. Happened dozens of times, mostly with ex-gfs and friends that slept with them lol

Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

Ah, I am not sure it is really relevant. For me, it is easier to talk to girls - but after all - that's just talk, most times it ends the same, awkward handshake with a male friend might mean more than an hours long and heartbreaking conversation with a female one. Words - ha.

Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

Thanks Gods, no, never. I had many many many tense moments with my dad, numerous verbal fights and even some fist fights but that's how it should be, we'd make up fast, or ignore it which is not all that good, but nothing that lead to any really serious issues that cannot be fixed - fathers and sons fight, they always did - that does not mean they don't love each other

Foregivness, sure...but it certainly can be hard to forget, thoroughly & completely.

I am with you on this one, Forgiveness is something I have control over, forgetfulness no - even sometimes i wanted to really truly forget - i could have not, it was stronger than me and I had no power over it.

I have never had my revenge for anything, did think about it, maybe planned but never executed.

[anonymaus]

I do not consider honest mistakes and unfortunate but uncontrollable events to require forgiveness in the first place; purposeful misdeeds? I may forgive to the degree of not burning myself out with bitterness or seething, but it is the perpetrator's problem otherwise. I do not waste my time and energy on revenge.

I've never failed to accept an apology, or a thank you, or words of praise--nor have I questioned their sincerity. This is basic courteousness. It is much more useful to me to know someone is deceitful than to have an argument about it.

It is also the case that I consider accepting their forgiveness to be the new operating parameter until they betray it. Whether or not I want to destroy them as a person, I would not break that understanding unwarranted.

Men and women are easier or more difficult in different ways. It's not uniform but not drastically easier in either direction.

[Anthropos]

I pray everyday.

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MATTHEW. Chapter 6.

9.
After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11.
Give us this day our daily bread.
12.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
14.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15.
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Therefore (see quote), it is also very important that you mean what you pray. This point was brought up in a sermon some time ago, and it had a profound effect on my life.

[Black Turlogh]

It's my nature to be generally very lighthearted. It takes a great deal of effort to seriously offend me. If I've been wronged in any way I haven't the slightest reservation about telling the wrongdoer that there's no hard feelings. It's worked in my favour over the years. When you are forgiving of other people they tend to be highly forgiving of you as well.