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“I am not worried about dying, what I am worried about is not living”
Yes, kind of. But not like I used to be. I used to be terrified of dying, and every time I thought about it, and there was one period when death was always on my mind, I had some sort of a panic attack. That changed after my mother died. I stopped being afraid, and now I can freely think of death. I don't want to die, of course. I want to grow old, have and raise my own children, live some sort of a happy life before I go. But thinking about death is not so scary as it used to be.
It would be easier if I believed in God and heaven (or any kind of afterlife) though, but I don't. Death is scary because there is nothing after it. It's a vast expanse of nothing. You actually become nothing; you feel nothing, you can't think and everything you are disappears forever. That's what's scary for me.
Now I'm just going to sound melodramatic, but I remember watching my mother's grave after she died and wanting to believe in God and everything Christianity teaches us. Instead of that, I thought about what's going to happen to her body in the next few months (you get the idea). That's why I sometimes think that death is not so scary as it is disgusting.
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Originally Posted by SKYNET
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