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I like this poem:
On Children
Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
We are all familiar with Khalil Gibran’s verses on ‘children’. “Your children are not your children… they are life’s longing for itself…” and it goes on to state that though your kids come through you, they belong not to you, and that we can house their bodies, not their souls. Fact is that we wanted kids, hence had them.
Many parents try to manifest their own unfulfilled dreams and desires through their kids, not realising that children come into this world with their own dreams and agendas. I attended a very interesting course in metaphysics where it was stated that it was every parent’s duty to take care of their children, but not to expect their children to take care of them in return. I debated my perspective with Karma as a basis and asked, “If we take care of our kids when they are incapable, and fed them, changed their diapers, and protected them, isn’t it their duty to do so for us in our old age when we are incapable of taking care of ourselves?”
I was told; you put them on the planet, hence it’s your obligation and duty to protect and nurture them and not vice versa. Your children should do so only if they ‘want’ to, not because they ‘have’ to. The discussion went into the big difference in dharma and karma and drove the point home beautifully. Do not judge your child’s behaviour based on your interpretation of what you have done for your child. Your child’s behaviour will in itself reflect what kind of parent you have been and whether as a human being you have earned your child’s gratitude, love, compassion and caring. From their birth to your death, it can’t be about what you want. You brought them here. You owe them, you don’t own them.
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Originally Posted by Stefan_Dusan
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