Can straights become gay?

[Mortimer]

i read that some guys had a wife and children and afterwards they had their comming out and everyone though they are straight but they were actually gay. how is that possible and can a straight guy have a gay one night stand etc. if it is just once or like 2-3 times or does that make him gay?

[barbatus]

Lmao, this is just the reverse of my thread. I imagine people's answers in the other one apply just as much here.

[wvwvw]

They probably can become confused straights but gays unlikely

[wvwvw]

i read that some guys had a wife and children and afterwards they had their comming out and everyone though they are straight but they were actually gay. how is that possible and can a straight guy have a gay one night stand etc. if it is just once or like 2-3 times or does that make him gay?

Maybe they were bisexual

[wvwvw]

Found this interesting article:
I'm a gay man, but now I am feeling attracted to women
A gay man who is attracted to women is confused about his sexuality. Mariella Frostrup tells him to relax and find out what works best for him
Mariella Frostrup
The Observer, Sunday 21 July 2013
Jump to comments (176)

'I’m not saying all heterosexuals are actually bisexual, but I think most of us are capable of an equally profound sexual experience in a same-sex liaison': Mariella Frostrup advises a man who has been having gay relationships. Photograph: Reuters

The dilemma I have known I was gay since I was a boy, but recently I have started having sexual feelings for women that I've spent a lot of time with at university. I went to a single-sex school and have never really had any female friends. I wonder if this might have contributed to my belief that I was gay. Ever since spending time with these women I haven't had as strong feelings for men and for the first time find myself fantasising about these women. Can one's sexuality change in such a short time? Is this normal?

Mariella replies What's normal? So much of our behaviour is conditioned by our formative experiences and later circumstances that it's hard to separate what we started out feeling and what developed along the way. I've known parents announce their child is gay at the age of three and others remain blind to their children's sexuality through adulthood. I've seen girls evolve from Barbie-addicted pink princesses to tattoo-covered teenagers with multiple piercings. As for boys, if I had a pound for every show-tune lover in short pants who turned into a heterosexual school rugby captain I'd eat at Nobu every night and still have change.

After a decade of my mailbag, there are few surprises left in the terrain of the human heart. Uncovering digressions from what we perceive to be "the norm" is what makes opening my inbox a weekly treat. As a species we are definitely not set in our ways. Furthermore, as soon as any of us becomes complacent about the status quo, along comes a life event to test our incredulity.

You say you've always known you were gay, but the circumstances you describe won't have given you much opportunity to test the alternatives. It's long been my theory that in secondary education single-sex schools are great for girls, for whom boys are a distraction, and terrible for boys who afterwards take years to reconcile themselves to women as friends and equals. Just look at Boris Johnson if you want a prime example.

My feeling is that an absolutist position on sexuality isn't strictly necessary, and certainly not until you are well into adulthood. Society may file its inhabitants into neatly labelled boxes, but one of our most interesting qualities is our ability to shape shift. Some argue that life is complicated enough without leaving our sexuality open to interpretation. For others it's the most predictable of their impulses and, unchallenged by fate, whole lives can be played out devoid of deviation from their chosen normality.

You don't have to try the physical act with both sexes to know for sure what you prefer, but the opposite of what you believe to be your natural proclivity is potentially a pleasant surprise. Like passion itself, your sexual predilection may seem overpowering – until it passes and something else takes your fancy. I'm not saying all heterosexuals are actually bisexual, but I certainly think most of us are capable of an equally profound sexual experience in a same-sex liaison. What you ultimately choose – if you do choose – should surely be the person who feels right, not the person boasting the correct genitalia?

Happily most of us are more than the sum of those basic parts. Who we have sex with, how we like our sex and who we fantasise about when the lights are off are frequently mysteries even to those closest to us. In many cases we're estranged from our desires ourselves, self-delusion being as powerful an impulse as any other.

As citizens of a "civilised" society we try to give our brains and not our physical desires control over our actions. The alternative – a frenzy of bacchanalian cavorting with whoever takes our fancy – is exactly what monotheistic religion was invented to avoid. Visiting the British Museum's Pompeii exhibition with my kids this week, predictably, what they were most interested in was the licentious behaviour exalted in much ancient Roman art and iconography.

We are certainly a less carnally indulgent culture. But conclusively partnering with one sex or another has obvious flaws when examined in depth. What you're confronting is the true nature of human sexuality, a state of flux that's dependent on nurture, fate, circumstance and character. I suggest you try not to hurt anyone in the process, but relax and enjoy finding out what works for you.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...acted-to-women

[Incal]

i read that some guys had a wife and children and afterwards they had their comming out and everyone though they are straight but they were actually gay. how is that possible and can a straight guy have a gay one night stand etc. if it is just once or like 2-3 times or does that make him gay?

They were in the closet due to pressure and prejudices. That's why I think it's great to live these times, almost all fags are out now and don't scam girls anymore so more ladies for us straight guys.

[Leo Iscariot]

i read that some guys had a wife and children and afterwards they had their comming out and everyone though they are straight but they were actually gay. how is that possible and can a straight guy have a gay one night stand etc. if it is just once or like 2-3 times or does that make him gay?

Then were either in the closet, or late in life gays.

[Mortimer]

Then were either in the closet, or late in life gays.

late in life gay means that a straight guy can become gay etc. and cranks article says that all heterosexuals are able to hav same-sex relations so my question is interesting.

[Leo Iscariot]

late in life gay means that a straight guy can become gay etc. and cranks article says that all heterosexuals are able to hav same-sex relations so my question is interesting.

No, a late in life gay is (At least to my knowledge) someone who doesn't fully accept that they're gay until later in their life. They do everything they can do be straight and "overcome" their homosexuality. That's different from magically turning gay or just being in the closet.

[Archduke]

I've been on a one nightstand with a straight guy twice...many might be curious about gay sex, but that doesnt mean that they can become gay.