How Strict Were/Are Your Parents?

[Katariina]

Did they set many boundaries and rules? Or were they more laid-back than most parents? Now that you are an adult, do they still set boundaries and have expectations for your life? Would they ever disown you for something, and what is it?
Did they set boundaries for you in any of the following: alcohol, relationships, politics, religion, sexuality, etc.?

My parents are quite balanced, maybe a little more strict than not. I doubt they'd disown me for anything I chose to do, unless it was something that obviously affected other peoples lives (ex: violence). But they raised me right and happy, so they don't worry about what I do.

[Black Wolf]

Mine were/are balanced.

[Oneeye]

Very strict for most of my youth.


I turned into a wildchild in the later absence of it though, and LOL, they don't get to give me "boundries" as an adult. That kind of manchild nonsense should be left for junkies.

[Shah-Jehan]

My parents are balanced too, but I don't think I've ever passed the "limits" they've set for me.

[Gooding]

They were pretty strict. They were also fair, so it wasn't that bad and in fact, sometimes it was pretty good.

[Beit El]

They were quite loose. Ironically I think it's because the gender division was quite traditional.

[Linebacker]

I was free to do and go wherever I want but my grandfather always insisted on my physical training.

I remember we had times where he would sit on a chair reading his newspaper and I would carry a pile of big ass stones from one side to the other until he said it was enough.

Other times he would wake me up early in the morning to jog around the neighborhood,many things like that.

[SupaThug]

Mine are very strict,but I still manage to do what I want without harming the image of a ''good boy'' that they have of me.They trust me and consider me to be very mature in most aspects.

[Kazimiera]

I grew up in a VERY laissez-faire family. My dad left my mom when I was about 3, never to seen of heard of again. I was raised by my mom and my grandma who were both VERY permissive. In retrospect it placed a lot of responsibility on me at a very young age because I was responsible for the decisions I made and also the consequences.

When I was 16 I had a boyfriend of 24. My mom and grandma knew we were having sex. It's only a matter of time before it happens and she knew that I was going to do it regardless of what anyone said. (Since when can you tell a teenager what to do?) Instead of trying to place restrictions on me she bought me a double bed and he moved in. Her motivation for this decision was that since it was going to happen she didn't want me hanging around nightclubs and other unsavory places with him, doing in the parking lot or in the back of his car. If he lived with us it would guarantee me being me home in the evenings, doing homework and then (obviously) having sex - or not - when I went to bed. It wasn't a bad decision because my school marks were good and my boyfriend helped me with my homework. We were together for a year.

When I was 17 I got a new boyfriend and he moved in too. He was 10 years older than me. We were determined to get married. My mom knew it wasn't going to work out but instead of standing in my way and trying to tell me what to do (I wouldn't have listened anyway) she let us go ahead with it. I was 18 when I got married, with stars in my eyes, convinced that this was true love. At the end of the day it was a marriage just on paper. I don't even classify it as a marriage which is why I never mention it. I got divorced when I was 21. My mother and grandmother never interfered in any of my business.

My mom and grandma let me make my own decisions and mistakes and were always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on but they never did the "I told you so!"

My mom didn't get involved with my schooling. She paid for me to go to school and I was left alone to carry on by myself. I did well because I was determined to get a good education. There was no support at home. Also, I was not encouraged (nor discouraged) to go to university. At the end of the day the decision was with me. When I wanted to study to be a paramedic there was no money, so I sold my engagement ring (I guess getting married at 18 had its advantages in the end). After that I managed to get myself into a university and organised to pay for it myself (which is another story in its own).

In retrospect, I don't know if I would be so permissive. The world has changed a little since the time when I was a teenager. I don't have children so I won't be placed in the situation where I have to make these decisions. I wish that my mom was more involved with me, but I am one of those people who are determined to do what they want to do and will pull out all the stops to achieve what I want. She was working full time because my dad never paid maintenance for me. She spent her time bringing in money for us to survive. It wasn't easy on her. I am sure she wanted to spend more time with me but she just couldn't. She worked from 8am to 5pm every day and on Sundays she was so tired that she just slept because the week ahead meant more work.

It worked out well in the end because of my personality. Had I been a different person with a less responsible personality it could have had a different outcome. My upbringing was rather "unique" but it was what it was. I'm a tenacious survivor.

[Unome]

My parents were about 95% Liberal, 5% Strict (Conservative)

I am very fortunate to have free imagination and creativity; but the price is aimlessness and lacking distinct goals in life.

Another benefit is irreligious, not conforming to a definitive religious/spiritual system. Free thought is very valuable & important to me.