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Warning Planet Earth!
I have just been informed by the universe that it will begin to torture and disfigure the sensory of every living creature on this planet when it releases from my body after I pass away. The universe has informed me that it will be unable to resume life on this planet correctly after it releases from my body because of the extremely dysfunctional condition it is in. This is in no way a sick joke. I am sincerely trying to warn you beforehand. If the universe does in fact begin to torture and disfigure your sensory after I have passed away, just do yourselves a favor and end your lives any way you can, because there will be no other way to stop the torture from continuing. Obviously, hospitals will be unable to euthanize everyone, so if you don't own a firearm your best bet would be to go without eating or drinking any fluids for 3-5 days. I know you're unable to believe me at the present time, because everyone thinks I'm either psychotic or just someone trying to grab their attention for personal reasons. But I want to make this very clear; this is no bullsh*t! Please accept my dearest apologies. I really didn't ask to be born this way.
Sincerely,
William Frank Lepley III
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