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Thread: Having children DOESN'T make you happy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Colonel Frank Grimes View Post
    A child's personality has more to do with their genetics in play with their social environment (peer relationships are actually more important than parents when it comes to social development) assuming there is no abuse in the family. You see the differences in brothers and sisters all time. One might be better behaved, while the other is problematic. It's a roll of the genetic dice. What a parent should do is be mindful of their child's friends. Peers make the child. How kids act with their parents is often very different than how they behave with their peers. How they act with their friends is closer to their true self.
    But influencing a child's peers is part and parcel with raising him right. And I don't think genetics are that decisive. Of course they play a role, but so does nurture. My parents and their parenting techniques were a huge influence in my life.

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    Travelling does!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marusya View Post
    I am quite domestic oriented. No doubt about it. I love all things HOME. (Martha Stewart, Marie Kondo, cooking, cleaning, Good Housekeeping magazine, House Beautiful magazine.) My hero growing up was Mary Poppins. Just me and Bert in the park having a jolly holiday. I love children but I'm conflicted about having them. What if I have an autistic or special needs child? Am I up to the challenges of parenthood.

    I really like my space and alone time. My bf is the same way. He says he could happily live with or without children, but no more than two. I think he thinks that way because I would have to do the majority of the child raising, like 99.9% of all women in the world. It is a big responsibility not to be taken lightly in today's world.
    I think you approach the idea with a healthy fear. But I also don't think it's as big a deal as people make it out to be these days. At the end of the day, food, shelter, and love are all that's really needed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marusya View Post
    No, the woman wasn't Ukrainian. Just a generic American white woman that a friend of mine knew from her work as a nurse. She lived to age 90. Her husband died in his 70s and she had six sons. They died in their 60s and 70s. Three of her sons had children, but those grandchildren lived thousands of miles away from her. She really had no one in the end. My friend felt bad for her because she never had any visitors in the 10 years she lived in the assisted living facility. Her grandchildren didn't have time for her.
    That's fucked up. I can only imagine doing that to someone if the relative was abusive. Perhaps move her to a nursing home closer to them if she didn't mind. At worst fly out there once a year and call every few days to make sure she's fine.

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    This is true. Life is shit without children and life is shit with them. This is at inlaws family new years eve party. There were seven kids that day all six and under...the dads just wanted to drink.

    “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Eph. 6:12

    Definition of untrustworthy and loose character are those that don't believe in God.


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    Having children might not always make people happy. It is expensive, stressful and tiring. But it can give life more meaning than going to work, indulgence in material objects and other selfish pursuits. But it's all relative. It's difficult for people on each side of the fence to accurately compare their lives and happiness to each other without crossing it themselves.

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    The amount of non-science in this "study" is staggering.

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    The way I see it is the more perfect a human being is the more genuinely disgusted he/she will feel imagining identic copies of themselves, so the nobler you're the less desire you have on having kids. If you were any less noble evolution would have plaid or it will paly tricks on you to end up with kids, perhaps a lot of kids in order to increase your chances of improvement and reach the pinnacle heights of the that noble indivudal who lacks the desire of having kids.

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    People should realize that not everyone wants to have kids and not everyone should have kids.There are many people that didn't want to become parents, and this created unhappy/abused kids and unhappy parents as well.

    You should not have a kid because society dictates you so, because ''this should be your life goal'' or '' this is what a person is destined to do'', but because you want to, and you are willing to everything within your power to raise this little human.
    Last edited by Queen B; 01-05-2017 at 09:07 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by peaceandfriendship View Post
    BTW - you having a picture of Pyrrhus as your avatar is the Albanian equivalent of Michael Jackson bleaching his skin white.

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