Becoming a Skinny Bitch part 2

[Mary]

This will happen to you,

My husband left me after being together for 20 years.

I am absolutely heartbroken at the moment, my husband who Ive been with for 20 years, left me 5 weeks ago. I have done nothing but cry ever since. We have a daughter together who is 16 and is about to take her GCSEs. What is confusing though is my husband has said he doesnt know whether he wants to come back or not and that he needs time. He says he does love me but not sure if its in the right way or whether its enough. I love my husband to death, losing him is like losing my right arm. I feel like he has torn out my heart and ripped it into a million pieces. Ive lost 20lbs because I can hardly eat. I'm not sleeping much either, Ive been up since 3 am (it's now 4.55 am). I can't concentrate on anything, I just see him everywhere I look. My parents live 26 miles away and have been supportive over the phone but I have no friends as such to speak to. I feel so alone. I keep looking at photos of us together when we both happy (they were only taken 6 months ago). We are kind of in contact by text messages, sometimes he answers and other times he doesnt it. I still see him occasionally too but I cant really talk to him about whats happening between us, he doesnt want to talk about it. Weekends are the worst, Fridays and Saturdays I cant get hold of him (I think he may be seeing someone else who he may of met on a social networking site). I am 45 but acting like a desperate teenager at the momet. I text him at every opportunity. I know I shouldnt be doing it, I know I must come across as needy. I am always asking him to come home and tell him that we can sort this out if only he would give me a chance.

just lol @ thinking that a man is happy with a 45 year old hag,

[Mary]

This is very common,

Our stories are similar. My husband also left me after 22 years together a few days before christmas leaving me and my 2 daughters. I too am 45 yrs old and i fully understand all the pain you are going through. Its so horrendous and you are right no matter how much you try you cannot get them out of your mind. I have also questioned whether my husband is having a midlife crisis as it feels like the person you loved has changed so much and all they are interested in is finding the happiness that they say is missing. I think my husband thinks hes going to find a life where he is totally happy all of the time and as he says he wants 'unconditional love'. In the meantime hes destroyed our family and seems absolutely oblivious that he has hurt me and our children so much.

If i was you i really would be taking some positives out of the fact that he hasnt closed the door to wanting to be with you completely. My husband has now filed for divorce and i hardly see or hear from him only when he comes to get our youngest daughter. Even then it hurts so much that i dont know if its better to see him or not. I really understand how you feel when you say you look at old photos i do the same in a desperate attempt to realise that we were happy not so long ago and that we wouldnt have been together so long if we were miserable all the time.

just because you're happy being old and fat doesn't mean that your man is happy with it.

[Mary]

Sooner or later, most men get fed up with being with an ugly bitch,

Hi Hun. This happened to my nan, my so called "grandad" left her after 35years for another woman, just out the blue! That was 3years ago and I haven't seen him since.

[Mary]

This is becoming the norm,

Your story reminded me so much of my own. My husband left me after 22 years and I was devastated. I begged him to come back saying we could work things out. After two weeks of him being gone he told me he had started seeing someone else, I couldn't understand how he could do that after telling me there was no-one else. \found out later that he had been seeing her for at least 6 months before he left. I put up with him saying he didn't know what he wanted to do, stay with her or come home. So for about 6 months myself and my children hoped he would be home. He kept popping in and out of our lives. In the end he never came home so I was back at square one.

[Mary]

Lulz @ the delusion,

Again your story is so similar to mine, my husband just left after 18yrs, albeit he is in contact I feel he is keeping me hanging on in case his new life fails. We have 3 beautiful children but I am finding it very hard to keep strong for them all I want to do is crumble. He keeps promising he's coming home and wants to make things work, but he hasn't actually come home. 2 weekends ago I bought his ticket to come home, he never came. Again this week I bought his ticket for Thursday he sent a email explaining a job opportunity had come up so he has changed the ticket for today (sat). So now I am sat in limbo wondering if he is actually going to turn up today

yeah, he's totally going to go back to the same bitch that he's had for 18 years.

[Mary]

Soon it will be your turn to experience this,

Your story is very similar to mine, but I am now almost 8 months down the line and things look very different!
My husband told me 8 months ago that he wanted a "trial Separation" and I immediately saw that he wants to leave but wants to give himself time to "test" how he will feel. My first instinct was to say NO! A trial separation where he is not willing to go to a counselor or at least work together to solve the problem makes no sense and he adamantly refused to do either.
So, I decided not to let myself be played with. I knew that it will HURT LIKE HELL but I also knew that pain fades with time and that the sooner I start the process, the sooner I will reach the end of the tunnel.

It took three months for me to not walk around in a daze, play back every moment of our life together and wonder what went wrong 24/7 and not to drive myself crazy wondering if I made a huge mistake.

Then it took another two months of crying uncontrollably every time I was alone

Then finally and slowly, I look at him and I do not feel that I will die without him.. I know he's never coming back and I have accepted it. I have also accepted that he is not the man I am in love with anymore....I don't know if he even really existed or if he just had a brain transplant one night..but it doesn't matter, because he's a different person, One who does not love me the way I loved his previous self...and I guess the new person is not someone I would fall in love with today.

[Mary]

She thought that she could keep her man while preggo,

I'm just looking for hope that my partner is having a panic and may one day come home. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and be left me 2 months ago for a 23 yo he met on holiday the week before. It's been an awful 2 months he's flown out to her and her here since he left. He believes he's done nothing wrong as he split with me first before things actually 'happened' with her, which call me crazy I do believe. It's a pretty long horrible story, our baby was planned and we were discussing marriage for next year. Weve been together 8 years. Have you seem our kind if scenario much? I'm guessing being that you've gone through it you've spoken to lots if people going through similar? Xx

[Mary]

Her cuck turned on her,

You could be telling my story ! Married 21 years I thought happy 2 daughters and he left 6 weeks before my daughtes GCSE saying he no,longer loved me, I was and am devastated. I too thought breakdown, mid life crisis etc etc. No man walks away at this time after 21 years without somewhere or one to go too ! Though a private investigator I found my husband living with another woman ! ,
I too thought he would be honerable with money etc ! WRONG in 14 weeks he has become a cruel nasty liar from a wonderful supportive loving family man.

Defaulted on school fees, remortgaged the house ran up debts and closed bank accounts down, cancelled all my credit cards. It's a MESS.

I she had provided for her man she wouldn't be in this situation.

[Mary]

"There's no other woman involved"

ive been happily married 15 years to my soul mate who loved me unconditionally. We had a row 9 weeks ago & he moved back with his mother. Next day he told me he didn't love me any more, something has changed in him, he started divorce within 2 days! He swears there is no one else involved. We were talking by text & even meeting up. He even told me not to sign the divorce papers? Said he still loves me but don't want me? The other day He did agree to go to counciling separately to try & piece things back together, but the next day we met & he told me to get on with my life, our marriage is gone, get over it!!!!!!!

My husband swears blind there is no one else involved, yeah right! He couldn't even make a decision to what socks to wear, let alone do a divorce & leave me.
Come on girls, remember the real husband you had, was he really all that? No he wasn't! I hated the fact that he couldn't keep his eyes open & slept 80% of the time, ate like a pig & was a spineless ****. I think most of our husbands are spineless cowardly emotionless *****, or they wouldn't be doing this to us. It's us that are the strong ones, we can & will pick up the pieces that, that vile man left behind. We don't need them, half as much as they need us, we are so much better than they will ever imagine to be. They jumped ship, not us!
They might of found a young home wrecking tart but he will soon realise that she ain't gonna put up with his crap like we did, he will soon get his sorry **** dumped!

old hags stand no chance against young girls.

[Mary]

When given the opportunity even the biggest chumps cheat,

How can a man leave a wife of 20yrs abs 2 kids...
But remember my situation...he was overseas working and a new career,new money has gone to his head...he went out a lot overseas and of course I wasn't there with him or kids and he became emotionally disconnected...

It was different in 2011 before we went,great dad,loving husband,hardly went out,helpful in house...loved each other very much..

His problem over there was very much loneliness and drinking so perhaps it was inevitable he had couple of affairs...he may have had one night stands but I can't prove that although he did "lose" his phone a few times....ill never know...