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Thread: Ageing: How would you cope?

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    Default Ageing: How would you cope?

    If there is one aspect of life that affects us all, whether we are rich or poor, white or non-white, healthy or ill, religious or non-religious, is that we will all grow older and eventually die one day. Our eventual demise has been sealed into our genes from the day we were born. The thought of this may be morbid, but it is a fact of life and something we will have to come to terms with.

    Have you made peace with the fact that you will die one day?

    Are you prepared emotionally to grow older and die one day?

    Many elderly people find comfort in religion, especially since religion offers hope of a life after death. It is also comforting for old people to have a family that care about them -- therefore the burdens of raising children at a younger age do bear considerable fruit in later years. The childless probably suffer more lonely days during old age.

    When my grandmother was 91 years old, she told me that she was bored with life, and wanted to die. She was always healthy. Some months later she died. I think this is the way I want to die as well: a life lived to the full, without illness and discomfort until the very end, until I decide I've had enough.

    Your thoughts?

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    Have you made peace with the fact that you will die one day?
    No.

    Are you prepared emotionally to grow older and die one day?
    No.

    There is nothing you can do about getting older, it just happens. I guess it is relative. When I was 18 I thought of 25 as ancient. Now I so happy to report that 50 is the new 35.

    As for dying I just can't imagine it. I guess at some point pass my 100th birthday (hopefully many years pass) I'll will dose off to sleep & never wake up.

    So what brought on this thread Loki? Are you facing down the big 4-0?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Æmeric View Post
    So what brought on this thread Loki? Are you facing down the big 4-0?
    It's not that I'm facing a mid-life crisis, but I have been philosophising about the inevitabilities of the future for some time.

    Having said that, being 36 already makes me worry that life is going too fast. Stop, I want to get off ...

    Now I so happy to report that 50 is the new 35.
    Very comforting to know that. I'm certainly looking forward to the next 20 years of my life, and I haven't reached my zenith yet. In fact, I fully believe that my best years are still to come.

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    In Primitive Mythology Joseph Campbell addresses this stuff in a chapter called "The Impact of Old Age"..

    I could well quote the whole thing here, but I won't..

    Here are some quotes..

    Death is foreshadowed by the first signals of old age, which
    appear even today too soon for pleasure. How much sooner in the
    primitive past! When the woman of forty-five was a hag and the
    warrior of fifty an arthritic cripple, when, moreover, disease and
    the accidents of the hunt and of battle were everyone's immediate
    experience, Death was a mighty presence who had to be faced
    boldly even within the safest sanctuary, and whose force had to
    be assimilated.

    ...

    The Hawaiian tree with the deceptive branches, of which one
    side seems to be alive but the other dead, suggests the Eddic
    World Ash, Yggdrasil, whose shaft was the pivot of the revolving
    heavens, with the World Eagje perched on its summit, four stags
    running among its branches, browsing on its leaves, and the
    Cosmic Serpent gnawing at its root:

    The ash Yggdrasil suffers anguish,
    More than men can know:
    The stag bites above; on the side it rots;
    And the dragon gnaws from beneath. 91

    It is the greatest of all trees and the best, the ash where the gods
    give judgment every day. Its limbs spread over the world and
    stand above heaven. Its roots penetrate the abyss. And its name,
    Yggdrasil, means "The horse of Ygg," whose other name is Odin;
    for this great god once hung on that tree nine days, in the way of a
    sacrifice to himself.

    I ween that I hung on the windy tree,
    Hung there for nights full nine;
    With the spear I was wounded, and offered I was
    To Odin, myself to myself,
    On that tree that none may ever know
    What root beneath it runs. 98

    We have here certainly hit upon a series of images aptly
    contrived to render certain hopes, fears, and realizations concerning
    the mystery of death, such as might well have arisen spontaneously
    in many parts of the world in the minds of those facing the dark
    gate. Or, since these images of the tree or man that is at once dead
    and alive do not appear in isolation, but always amid comparable
    contexts of associated motifs, should we not look for signs of a
    prehistoric distribution of the syndrome from a single myth-
    making center to the rest of the world? In the puberty rites we
    found the imagery of the androgyne associated with a tree or
    great pole. Here we again have the tree, and again a dual associa-
    tion: not the duality of male and female, but that of life- and
    death. Are these two dualities mythologically related? To realize
    that they may indeed be linked, one need only thinlr of the Bible
    story of the First Adam, who became Adam and Eve and fell by
    the tree, bringing into the world both death and its counterbalance,
    procreation. Add to this, then, the figure of the Second Adam,
    Christ, by whose death on the "tree" eternal life was given to man,
    and a key to the structuring of the many-faceted image will have
    been found. It is a threshold image, uniting pairs-of-opposites in
    such a way as to facilitate a passage of the mind beyond anxiety.

    ...

    It is not in the writings of Sigmund Freud but in those of Carl
    Jung that the most profound analytical consideration has recently
    been given to the problem confronting all men throughout the long
    last portion of the human cycle of life: that, namely, of the ir-
    resistible approach of King Death. "A human being," Jung once
    wrote,

    would certainly not grow to be seventy or eighty years old if
    this longevity had no meaning for the species to which he be-
    longs. The afternoon of human life must have a significance
    of its own and cannot be merely a pitiful appendage to life's
    morning. The significance of the morning undoubtedly lies in
    the development of the individual, our entrenchment in the
    outer world, the propagation of our kind and the care of our
    children. But when this purpose has been attained and even
    more than attained shall the earning of money, the extension
    of conquests, and the expansion of life go steadily on beyond
    the bounds of all reason and sense? Whoever carries over into
    the afternoon the law of the morning that is, the aims of
    nature must pay for so doing with damage to his soul just
    as surely as a growing youth who tries to salvage his childish
    egoism must pay for this mistake with social failure. Money-
    making, social existence, family and posterity are nothing but
    plain nature not culture. Culture lies beyond the purpose of
    nature. Could by any chance culture be the meaning and pur-
    pose of the second half of life?

    In primitive tribes, we observe that the old people are al-
    most always the guardians of the mysteries and the laws, and
    it is in these that the cultural heritage of the tribe is ex-
    pressed."

    "As a physician I am convinced that it is hygienic," Jung de-
    clares elsewhere, with an apology for employing such a clinical
    term with reference to religion, "to discover in death a goal toward
    which one can strive; and that shrinking away from it is something
    unhealthy and abnormal which robs the second half of life of its
    purpose. I therefore consider the religious teaching of a life here-
    after consonant with the standpoint of psychic hygiene. When I
    live in a house that I know will fall about my head within the
    next two weeks, all my vital functions will be impaired by this
    thought; but if, on the contrary, I feel myself to be safe, I can
    dwell there in a normal and comfortable way. From the staijd-
    point of psychotherapy it would therefore be desirable to think of
    death as only a transition one part of a life-process whose
    extent and duration escape our knowledge." And in fact, as Dr.
    Jung then notes and all of us well know, "a large majority of
    people have from time immemorial felt the need of believing in a
    continuance of life. In spite of the fact that by far the larger part
    of mankind does not know why the body needs salt, everyone
    demands it none the less because of an instinctive compulsion. It
    is the same in things of the psyche. The demands of therapy,
    therefore, do not lead us into any bypaths, but down the middle of
    the roadway trodden by humankind. And therefore we are thinking
    correctly with respect to the meaning of life, even though we do
    not understand what we think." 10

    Observations such as these have earned for Dr. Jung the reputa-
    tion of being a mystic though actually they are no more mystical
    than the recommendation of a hobby to a mind becoming ossified
    in its office task would be. Jung has here simply said that in the
    afternoon of life the symbolism of King Death does in fact conduce
    to a progressive inclination of the energies of the psyche, and hence
    to maturity. Nor does he think it necessary, or even possible, to
    "understand" the ultimate secret of the force of such symbolic
    forms. For, as he asks,

    Do we ever understand what we think? We understand only
    such thinking as is a mere equation and from which nothing
    comes out but what we have put in. That is the manner of
    working of the intellect. But beyond that there is a thinking
    in primordial images in symbols that are older than historical
    man; which have been ingrained in him from earliest times,
    and, eternally living, outlasting all generations, still make up
    the groundwork of the human psyche. It is possible to live the
    fullest life only when we are in harmony with these symbols;
    wisdom is a return to them. It is a question neither of belief
    nor knowledge, but of the agreement of our thinking with
    the primordial images of the unconscious. They are the source
    of all our conscious thoughts, and one of these primordial
    images is the idea of life after death. 101
    Later,
    -Lyfing

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    I'm not at all perturbed by growing old or getting older than my present age.

    I don't fear death and when my time arrives, my only hope is that I have time to bid my farewells to my loved ones and make my peace with the world.

    I do hope to die peacefully, but having had asthma as a child; and feeling it creeping back with each year that I grow older, I know that I will die painfully and grasping for that last breath.

    Let's hope I am capable of administering a lethal does to finish me off if that is the case, as I know Ceallach is not strong enough to do that, and I do not wish for my children to do so either.

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    I'm quite comfortable with dieing, maybe if sombody told me had a terminal illness and was going to die in 2 weeks I would have a completely different perspective on life because I feel I have so much to do, achieve and I do think and want to change the world somehow, I have a feeling me and wanting to change the world will lead to my death one way or another but time will tell I just hope I can say goodbye properly to loved ones before it happens.
    un-compromising Straight Edge

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    Yes I look forward to grow old, but never in my life shall I die from old age. That would be unfitting. I don't have any qualms with old age though.

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    Witnessing both my parents dying was not a pretty sight. My mother became ill suddenly and within a week she had passed away. I remember her lying in the hospital bed in a comatose state and none of us being aware if she was aware of our presence. We don't know if she suffered any pain before she died or if she died in her sleep like her parents.

    My father on the other hand had been ill for 2-3 months and still the doctors didn't know what what wrong with him, but seeing his frustration during the last weeks was painful for us to watch.

    I think it depends on the experiences that one witnesses that ultimately defines our attitude towards death. From a personal perspective I don't fear aging - it's made a lot easier when one has a trusted companion, but death is a different matter, I don't really know until it finally arrives.

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    Have you made peace with the fact that you will die one day?
    Absolutely not.

    Are you prepared emotionally to grow older and die one day?
    I think I am prepared to grow old, growing old doesn't scare me. Only death. I haven't lost any parent yet, or anyone really close. Only grandparents, and then I was a child. I can't imagine saying goodbye to my mom or dad. I don't want to, nor do I want to feel that pain. I as most of us probably just feel, I don't want anyone I love to die or me. I want forever...but, I can't have forever.

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    I don't mind the thought of death or aging. I kind of look forward to it because I wish to know if there really is something on the other side. Plus, I feel if I make it past my 50's I'll be on borrowed time anyway.

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