Worst heartbreak youve ever gotten over someone?

[Óttar]

It does. The more time distance there is, the more emotional distance there will be. You'll get to the point where you can view it objectively. But you are not there yet. Feel what you need to. A break-up or divorce is also a time of grieving. Don't rush yourself because that can only make it worse, when you try to bottle things up and push them aside. Emotions need to be experienced so no matter how unpleasant things are right now, you have to go through it. You can't turn back time and you cannot speed it up either. Let time take you where you need to go.

My grandmother died in May and my aunt died of cancer two days ago. In the case of the latter, I said everything I needed to say to her, I wept for ten minutes straight as I told her she was the sanest of the three women in my family and that I thanked her for nurturing my intellectual curiosity. Unless something unexpectedly wells up out of nowhere, I have made peace with the fact that she is no longer here. It's really weird. Until recently, I hadn't experienced a death in the family to be able to compare it with the pain of a breakup, but dare I say, my breakups have caused me significantly more emotional distress. This has caused me to question whether our society's culture of serial monogamy is healthy.

[Kazimiera]

My grandmother died in May and my aunt died of cancer two days ago. In the case of the latter, I said everything I needed to say to her, I wept for ten minutes straight as I told her she was the sanest of the three women in my family and that I thanked her for nurturing my intellectual curiosity. Unless something unexpectedly wells up out of nowhere, I have made peace with the fact that she is no longer here. It's really weird. Until recently, I hadn't experienced a death in the family to be able to compare it with the pain of a breakup, but dare I say, my breakups have caused me significantly more emotional distress. This has caused me to question whether our society's culture of serial monogamy is healthy.

I completely agree with this statement.

Someone once told me it would have been easier had we broken up. I disagree. With a break-up there is always a degree of resentment, bruised egos - in a nutshell, due to their nature, break-ups and divorces are ugly. Death is easier to deal with because there is no hatred or jealousy. You're not left questioning your worth as a human being.

[EasternEurope]

I'm personally a young little guy so I've only had one relationship and it wasn't even a 'relationship' per se. I guess I'll just find out later on in the future :/

[Óttar]

12 years ago, I met a woman over the internet from South Africa, a white woman (half-German), and we fell in love with each other over the phone, talked for months. I was living in Texas at the time. I decided I was going to go to South Africa to meet this woman, now, with high hopes. Across the Atlantic Ocean, down into the Southern Hemisphere, on a continent on which I no nobody except this girl... I finally realized that this would have been foolish for me to go down there. What a MIGHTY LET-DOWN, when you realize you travelled SO, SO FAR to meet a female, then she might "kick you to the curb." Great God Almighty!
But what breaks my heart now is that my cancelling my trip down there devastated her.

Wise move. I booked a flight to visit a girl who I had been corresponding with, who lived in the next state over, and I had no reason to believe that she would flake out on me or that I would have a negative experience. After an initial coffee date, she began to imagine all this hypothetical bullshit nonsense (women can never just fucking relax and let things happen!), and she treated me like garbage basically telling me that she would only see me if it didn't interfere with her schedule. Here I am having spent hundreds on a plane ticket, a hotel room, and a return flight (added cost because of sudden booking) with nothing to show for it. I was so filled with rage and vengeance, and it pisses me off that this bitch will never get the karmic retribution which she is due. Needless to say, I am a lot more battle-hardened and less willing to expend energy in getting to know women. I will only deal with local women who are willing to put in an effort for me. With the amount of money I spent, I could have booked a nice hotel in the capital and rented two hookers.

I console myself thinking about the men who get their ass handed to them in divorce court and who have been thrown in prison for non-payment of alimony, and yet their bank accounts are still being raped. It could have been worse.

You made the right decision.

Maybe in the future, you two can meet in a neutral location.

[♥ Lily ♥]

When my second partner in life died 10 months into our relationship and I had to identify his body for the police at the mortuary. I went into shock and disbelief when the police broke the news to me because we argued the night before and he was so drunk and volatile.

Over time I realised the last ever words I said to him proved to be true and must've hurt him when I found out the truth about his past from his family after his death. I don't wish to say what I found out about him after his death, or the things I did in the year that I lost and grieving.

I cried so many tears for 10-12 months, went to counselling, was totally lost, tried to commit suicide and ended up in hospital for a month.... I went through shock, disbelief, intense pain, anger, hurt, regret... I thought I'd never smile again.... and when I did find new love, I felt guilty at first for smiling again.

I remember wandering around graveyards and exploring a variety of spiritual paths and having quite a journey to recovery. I was lost for a long while though and only my college studies kept my head straight.... although heavily influenced by my boyfriend to change my style to be like him, dye my hair dark, read books he advised me to read, and listen to him for hours reading my tarot and looking into my eyes and telling me all about his spiritual witchcraft powers and ability to contact spirits by candlelight... and entered into a darker gothic side of life, as my views on life and death completely changed after my partner died.


I was happy-go-lucky before that happened, would dress in white a lot, went to church once a week, then gave up and started doing hail marys and trying the catholic church... then the jehvoahs.... then pagan groups.... my bf is now my only god.

Everyone who knew me said I've completely changed and they blame it on my bf... but they don't realise that the death of my former partner played a large role in it too.

Every late November I still feel haunted by it, although the police thanked me for spending a month of long searching to trace his relatives.

One thing I've learned is that life is fragile and being surrounded by images of death (such as skulls) is a constant visual reminder of our fragility.... one moment we're here... the next we're gone. So I live for each moment and day.

Seeing the corpse of my dead partner seemed surreal at the time and I remember being separated from him by a glass screen and I kept thinking I could smell death when I went home. Certain fragrances and scents haunt me. I remember thinking how strange it was that my breath appeared on the glass and he was dead.

We were walking through a graveyard only a few days before he died... and we saw some freshly turned-over earth ready for a new grave.... and my dead bf said 'someone is about to be buried there.'

I went back to that graveyard a week later and thought how strange it was that he'd said that .... and nobody was buried in the hole yet.... and now he was dead. He was cremated and placed near his father's grave in Manchester, northern England. I travelled there by coach once... a long journey of standing in freezing cold rain... just to put some flowers on his grave and light a candle for him a year later.

I wanted to move away... I searched hard for someone just like him... I wrote poetry... I was lost until I met my man.

That relationship hurt the most as we never split up.... he died young from alcohol and morphine overdose... and I couldn't say goodbye to him. I'm never going to see him again, but time and new love has healed a lot and I don't think the relationship with my dead partner would've survived anyway, because he was abusive towards me when he was drunk.

I ran away from him and slammed the door in his face the last time I ever saw him alive... and the next morning the police arrived with the bad news.

[nightrider+]

The whole "dating" game is a travesty meant to tear apart empathetic people, like most things in this society. Arranged marriages would be an improvement over this shit.

[Harley]

I suppose the worst heartbreak was the relationship I had in 2013-14. I felt this heartbreak while still in the relationship.

Dude I was dating lived in Paris. After 1.5 years in a relationship, I went to visit him to meet. Cool vacay, but this guy had way too many problems for me to deal with. I never told him I watched his whole body twitch in his sleep from nerve damage from continual drug usage for about a solid 15 minutes.

I suppose it came to a head for me when he took me to a barbecue. Knowing how anti-drug I was, he let his friends offer me lines of cocaine, expecting that I'd fold under peer pressure. The audacity of this fucker. There also was no barbecue involving food, just people barbecuing their brains.

I think he had a low opinion of my willpower, and believed I was not who I said I was.

[Wadaad]

Well, in my more naive years, there was a girl who put me on the pedestal, treated me like a king, and stroked my ego like no tomorrow. I was talking casually to many girls, but this one made me feel special and like how I should be treeted 24/7 not just by my woman, but by everybody. So in my mind I said "she deserves I drop everyone else, for her..She may be the one" and I dedicate my full attention, money, everything on her.

As soon as I did, she got bored of me...It went from her handing me her car keys without a second thought, to her brother answering the door when I showed up to say she aint home.

Also, this was a time when my dad was working overseas in N.Carolina, and all my older siblings were gone from the house, so i was the supposed 'man of the house'. And I neglected my own family, helping my dear mom with her responsibilities, to selfishly chase this girl and spend time with her. That was my biggest regret.

So more than heartbreak, is the feeling of regret and stupidity on my part. And now, also shame.

[Pahli]

Well, in my more naive years, there was a girl who put me on the pedestal, treated me like a king, and stroked my ego like no tomorrow. I was talking casually to many girls, but this one made me feel special and like how I should be treeted 24/7 not just by my woman, but by everybody. So in my mind I said "she deserves I drop everyone else, for her" and I dedicate my full attention, money, everything on her.

As soon as I did, she got bored of me...It went from her handing me her car keys without a second thought, to her brother answering the door when I showed up to say she aint home.

Also, this was a time when my dad was working overseas in N.Carolina, and all my older siblings were gone from the house, so i was the supposed 'man of the house'. And I neglected my own family, helping my dear mom with her responsibilities, to selfishly chase this girl and spend time with her. That was my biggest regret.

So more than heartbreak, is the feeling of regret and stupidity on my part. And now, also shame.

Some girls, likewise with some guys, have some inner devil that turn them ice cold and they'll play with you like you're their dog, then drop you like a rock and have your mind fucked for a while, been there myself when I was younger but these days I try to avoid such situations, its not healthy. But worst of all, its humiliating. You chase a girl and you fall for her, everyone can see it and your behaviour changes to the worse, as said: "loves makes blind".

[AphroditeWorshiper]

Guy, how you can fall in love with just one girl when exists millions of beautiful girls around the world? I can't believe in just love one girl, that's weird for me

for the thread, I never had a heartbreak obviously