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A Monarchy for America
As a Royalist, I propose we restore the monarchy and return former aristocratic families to their former glory. Those poor rednecks scattered in trailer parks across the South will be the new landed gentry. Their ancestral estates will be restored to them. Firearms will be confiscated from the majority of the population and ownership will be limited to the milita, which will be exclusively composed of alcoholic chainsmokers from podunk towns across the nation. Slavery will be reestablished, but not on racial lines, but through competitions, similar to that of the Hunger Games. The heads of families, as well as their first born sons, will be placed in an arena and will be ordered to fight to the death to save their family from the clutches of eternal servitude. Those unemployed, homeless, and mentally challenged will also be thrown into the arena. The emperor will be elected by the landed gentry, but will be limited to war vets, country singers, and Western actors. The national anthem will be Dixie and the flag will be a modified Old Glory, incorporating either the Bonnie Blue or the Stars and Bars. Disgracing either will be punishable by death. Camps will be set up to indoctr----reeducate those on American values and culture, primarily cock fighting, country music, football, NASCAR, beer drinking, trucks, and appropriate attire (Meaning cowboy hats, plaid, exceedingly large belt buckles, and square or round toe boots). Each citizen will be alotted a log of Copenhagen and/or Grizzly snuff, as well as a bottle of Kentucky bourbon, and a buck knife.
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Originally Posted by Lucia
Brazil
United Kingdom
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