Hetero men: what would be your reaction if you found your wife/gf in bed with another woman?

**Aldaris** · 04-07-2020, 08:59 PM

Originally Posted by Longbowman

This is a bit silly. 'Intellectually you're right of course, I should dump her, but I wouldn't feel as bad about it, so I won't.'

You're giving humanity too much credit if you think we're that rational in the real life. Things like that kind of thinking are not something we've chosen based on intellectual, i.e.conscious part of the brain. Look at this overall stuff in the long-term, since that's how evolution works. Rational evaluation won't do for a bunch of monkeys. It's way more efficient to go with some sort of instinct and make those genes carry over by that stuff. That's what we see in the real life in humans, still. As for this particular thing. There's a lot scenarios that could (and likely would) happen. I impregnate her and she raises a child with another woman. Fine scenario from the evolutionary perspective, no categorically different from me being in there instead. In fact it's even better - someone else expends the energy and I'm free to roam and repeat and the job's done. My genes got passed either way. Bottom line is, we're no optimization computer programs brought to life, we're animals.

**Lioncourt** · 04-07-2020, 10:28 PM

Originally Posted by Aldaris

You're giving humanity too much credit if you think we're that rational in the real life. Things like that kind of thinking are not something we've chosen based on intellectual, i.e.conscious part of the brain. Look at this overall stuff in the long-term, since that's how evolution works. Rational evaluation won't do for a bunch of monkeys. It's way more efficient to go with some sort of instinct and make those genes carry over by that stuff. That's what we see in the real life in humans, still. As for this particular thing. There's a lot scenarios that could (and likely would) happen. I impregnate her and she raises a child with another woman. Fine scenario from the evolutionary perspective, no categorically different from me being in there instead. In fact it's even better - someone else expends the energy and I'm free to roam and repeat and the job's done. My genes got passed either way. Bottom line is, we're no optimization computer programs brought to life, we're animals.

Well for rational evaluation of events a requirement is calculation of all possible scenarios and their outcomes, so in a simple go-in-without-knocking on bedroom door and bae with another girl in bed, I guess the initial shock (unless one is a completely soulless robot or doesn't give a fuck about his gf - figuratevily and literally), and the very possible lack of experience in such situations (not everyday we see bae fucking with another woman), would prevent overwhelming majority of people to rationalize this event. So we are down to the instincts, but do we have an inherited way to act when we catch bae cheating with a girl, I mean this isn't something vital for survival, as it would have happened very rarely. So if it turns out that our instincts in this case don't exist or are inefficent, then we are down to rationalizing again, a vicious circle happens.

**Poncho Peanatus** · 04-07-2020, 11:31 PM

Originally Posted by Longbowman

Kind of cucked tbh

who caaaares. I for one I dont.

**Poncho Peanatus** · 04-07-2020, 11:32 PM

Originally Posted by MsSPF

Oh sure it exists as a fantasy but not as reality ;-)

well you stated it didnt exist as a fantasy. Perhaps a typo, but I had to reply....

**Poncho Peanatus** · 04-07-2020, 11:34 PM

Originally Posted by Longbowman

Other men have said the same and ended up badly hurting. That's my point.

You're right, if she's going to leave she's going to leave, but you can control the narrative by telling her it's over, or letting her use you for stability whilst she sleeps with other women.

'Sometimes sex is just sex' is true, but we're talking about extramarital sex. Even if it is just sex, there's the betrayal/disloyalty element you're ignoring.

unless they are swingers....

**Longbowman** · 04-08-2020, 01:29 AM

Originally Posted by Poncho Peanatus

well you stated it didnt exist as a fantasy. Perhaps a typo, but I had to reply....

Clearly some men enjoy being cucked. There's a whole fetish community for it.

Originally Posted by Poncho Peanatus

unless they are swingers....

1) in this situation that's not the case
2) even with couples like that there's usually 'acceptable' sex in defined spaces and non-acceptable sex

But yes, Poncho, there are degenerates out there, the question sort of assumes you're not one, and this situation is not planned or anticipated by you.