Relationships with the woman being significantly older than the male

[Absinthe]

I am somewhat stealing the idea from another discussion, and it would be interesting to find out your opinions on this.

First: do you encounter those relationships often in your surroundings (a 30-40 year old woman going out with a 20 year old boy, let's say)?

Second: do you think such relationships can work?

Third: do you think of them as unnatural/inappropriate?

Fourth: what do you think is the cause for the older woman-younger man "boom" during the latest years?

I personally find this to be an unpleasant sight, for a variety of reasons (social, biological, aesthetical)... But I see it happening more and more often and the women who sustain such relationships are very determined to keep it going no matter what the opinions of others.

I once had a fight at a greek forum about it, when I said I disapproved, some dozen 40-year old women jumped on me and clawed the hell out of me, saying "who am I" to judge their relationships with younger men, and "who am I" to deny them the right to fall in love again, and so on and so forth.

I was, of course, accused of being jealous , of being deprived , of having had my man stolen by an older woman hence the bitterness (never happened ) and all kinds of rationalization imaginable.

So..........?

[HawkR]

I... dissaprove. These relationships is in my view a huge sign of the biggest disaster in history, the mid-life crisis. People today have lost the meaning of a relationship. Don't come here and tell that this 20 year old goes to his buddy saying: "Oh, I love her so" rather than "What a milf guys! Am I gonna bang her!". There will allways be the feeling of love in any kind of relationship, even amongst gays(yuck!). But it wont last. A man in his 20's will deffinetively dump this 40 year old someday cause he wants a family. With a woman around his age.


The biggest split in a relationship around me is man(38) and woman(45), 7 years in other words. Not to much to be honest.

[Ulf]

No opinion.

If they're both consenting adults I don't give a damn.

[Absinthe]

Well, behind the MILF mania, there issues such as Oedipus Complex for men and Midlife Crisis for women.

Add the emancipation of women in the present age, and the fact that by becoming independent and socially poweful via their careers they think they can buy a young man's love, same as an old man buys a 20 year old woman's youth and charms by giving her presents and all that (equally despicable).

In my own country (that's the only setting I feel capable of speaking of), it also boils down to the social pressure exerted to greek woman to get married with the first "sucker" that comes their way, and hence marriage for them becomes an end in itself.
10 years later, those unsatisfied married women realize they married a dork, merely out of social pressure and financial interests, one who's either lost interest in them and also looking at younger women, or one with whom they never had a loving relationship altogether.

This is the most common scenario in most cases I've witnessed. If only they had waited a bit longer and made a more responsible and mature choice of a husband, they wouldn't end up seeking for their lost youth via a relationship with a boy half their age.

[Absinthe]

No opinion.

If they're both consenting adults I don't give a damn.

Hypothetical question:

how would you take it if your 20 year old son brought home a 40 year old divorcée with 3 kids from her previous marriage(s), and announced her 'the love of his life' and his future bride?

[Beorn]

When I was twenty I slept with a thirty year old woman; and I have slept with older, but to have an actual relationship long term with those women would have been against the basis of my beliefs and would have had me at some point wander off to find younger women to engage with.

[Absinthe]

When I was twenty I slept with a thirty year old woman; and I have slept with older, but to have an actual relationship long term with those women would have been against the basis of my beliefs and would have had me at some point wander off to find younger women to engage with.

"Slept with" is not what I was referring to, but having an actual relationship and thinking it will work in the long run.

[Ulf]

Hypothetical question:

how would you take it if your 20 year old son brought home a 40 year old divorcée with 3 kids from her previous marriage(s), and announced her 'the love of his life' and his future bride?

I'd tell him he's an idiot, but so long as he's a happy idiot, oh well.

[Treffie]

Sexually, both parties would be near their peak - a female at 39 and a male at 19, so I should imagine there would be fireworks.

[HawkR]

Hypothetical question:

how would you take it if your 20 year old son brought home a 40 year old divorcée with 3 kids from her previous marriage(s), and announced her 'the love of his life' and his future bride?

I would've told him to straighten himself up, get a grip and find himself a woman on his age, or else the next feeling he would have wouldn't be love, but my foot so far up his ass that his breath would smell old gymsocks for the rest of his life.

No son of mine, shall marry someone who could be my wife, neither my granddaughter!