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To the Christians of Apricity, have you ever lost your faith? Were you always Christian, and never strayed?
I was raised Catholic. I considered myself a Christian (occasionally with heavier emphasis on the element of Catholicism) until age 14, at which point I became an atheist.
In the time since then, I've acquired plenty of knowledge and new perspectives. Even as an atheist, I came to metaphysical conclusions that seemed to set me at odds with most atheists. Specifically, I rejected (and continue to reject) determinism and found free will to be true (likewise, I rejected and continue to reject compatibilism between the two). I had concluded that consciousness was not reducible solely to physical processes, but was instead an inherent property of the universe.
Although perhaps nominally an atheist in recent years, I was really more of a deist at heart. I suspected there was a higher Order in the universe, but I wasn't quite at the point where I thought that it was the Christian God. I contemplated the question - which many philosophers and atheists have asked - which is that if God exists, is God evil? Consider the Problem of Evil. Little did I know, I was asking the right questions. I believe... it was only though contemplating this very fundamental paradox that the true Answer was made clear to me. NO! God is Love.
And so, I contemplated such questions. It all came to a point where that underlying connection truly occurred to me. It was like the penny dropping. I literally exclaimed, "Oh my God!"
And so after about half my life has gone by, I can again call myself a Christian.
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