Conversion, Deconversion, and Reconversion

[Wanderer]

To the Christians of Apricity, have you ever lost your faith? Were you always Christian, and never strayed?

I was raised Catholic. I considered myself a Christian (occasionally with heavier emphasis on the element of Catholicism) until age 14, at which point I became an atheist.

In the time since then, I've acquired plenty of knowledge and new perspectives. Even as an atheist, I came to metaphysical conclusions that seemed to set me at odds with most atheists. Specifically, I rejected (and continue to reject) determinism and found free will to be true (likewise, I rejected and continue to reject compatibilism between the two). I had concluded that consciousness was not reducible solely to physical processes, but was instead an inherent property of the universe.

Although perhaps nominally an atheist in recent years, I was really more of a deist at heart. I suspected there was a higher Order in the universe, but I wasn't quite at the point where I thought that it was the Christian God. I contemplated the question - which many philosophers and atheists have asked - which is that if God exists, is God evil? Consider the Problem of Evil. Little did I know, I was asking the right questions. I believe... it was only though contemplating this very fundamental paradox that the true Answer was made clear to me. NO! God is Love.

And so, I contemplated such questions. It all came to a point where that underlying connection truly occurred to me. It was like the penny dropping. I literally exclaimed, "Oh my God!"

And so after about half my life has gone by, I can again call myself a Christian.

[Loki]

Wanderer -- congratulations! Very eloquently put. To put it here briefly -- I went through the same. I was a Christian in my young days, then lost it -- for more than a decade... only to find God again a little over a year ago, towards the end of 2017. It is good to be back. God is very gracious and merciful and kind.

[Wanderer]

Wanderer -- congratulations! Very eloquently put. To put it here briefly -- I went through the same. I was a Christian in my young days, then lost it -- for more than a decade... only to find God again a little over a year ago, towards the end of 2017. It is good to be back. God is very gracious and merciful and kind.

Indeed, God is ever-merciful. It is possible for anyone to come to God, and to find forgiveness. I contemplate with awe God's love for all of us. I am driven to love my neighbors. I believe I've come to understand the nature of God's commandments. I must acknowledge that I could always be wrong, but I believe I can say my faith is good faith. God's commandments are not arbitrary, but exist so that we may do good for ourselves and for others--and so that we may inherit God's kingdom.

[Kazimiera]

I'm a returning Catholic.

I was baptised Roman Catholic but did not have a religious upbringing. When I was about 23 I became very interested, attended RCIA and was confirmed in 2005. Then I wandered off the path. But I am coming back to the Church now and it feels good.

[Wanderer]

In my time on this forum, I've perhaps shifted from cause to cause. At one point, it was Ukrainian nationalism. But I've gone from one sort of right-wing ideology to another quite a bit in recent years. At one point, in my teenage years, I even went through a leftist phase.

Superficially, that seems like a lot of ground to cover. But there was an underlying theme for me: my desire was to serve a cause greater than myself. God recognized this.

I do believe God has shown me the Light, or at least a great part of it. God has shown me even more--a LOT more--since I first created this very thread! God is being very gentle with me and easing me along the way, as I make this major transition in my corporeal life. God really is an ever-Loving and benevolent Keeper. He truly wants me to know and feel that, although I am and must be His property, His Love for me knows no bounds. Yes, I must live as a servant of God. All my earthly possessions are not truly mine but are God's. But God is my Supreme Fiduciary. I must trust in God, and He will look after me. I will be absent of fear; there is nothing in this universe--nor any evil spirt--that can do me any harm when I am under God's Supreme Wing.

This is just an amazing and indescribable feeling of comfort. I couldn't be this joyful even I were to become the richest man in the world. All the riches and material comforts of the world are ephemeral. Belongingness to God is eternal.

[Wanderer]

Over the past month, God has been giving me the truth piecemeal. He really loves me and wants me. But He has been giving me the truth little by little, in just the right way so that I may be able to understand and accept it. This is just amazing. It's really like a roller coaster ride, and God knows I like roller coasters a lot. Always have. But roller coasters in our material world operate by God's law of gravity, so they can only take you down right to where you began. God's Roller Coaster, on the other hand, just keeps elevating me, and won't stop.

God loves ALL of us, and He calls ALL of us to accept His gracious gift of eternal life. We are all sinners; no one can inherit God's kingdom with their own good works. Just a single sin is worthy of death. None of us deserves what God wants to give us. But it is through Jesus's profound sacrifice that we can be granted salvation, as the price has been paid for us. Our God--the one, true God--loves us to death... literally!

The question each of us faces is very simple, and it is whether or not we want to accept God's gracious gift.

[El_Abominacion]

I was raised in a Catholic household. Never really felt any sort of connection to God, saw anything to make me think he exists or saw any point in being dragged to Church every Sunday and for the last 5 years i've been an Atheist. When I DID go to church however, I saw over the years that the Churchgoer population was shrinking very quickly, perhaps indicating that English society as a whole is becoming less religious. There were also very few younger people. Despite the stereotypes floating around atheists as being edgy and ultra liberal i'm neither, and I still hold Catholic morals, though I won't be coming back to religion

[Armenian Bishop]

As a teenager, I plunged into Bible reading, especially from the Gospel and New Testament. I found that I could absorb much of it after just one reading, and did so with a humility and appreciation for the depth of Christ's messages. In our place of humanity, we sometimes weaken, yet also draw strength from under eternity's sky. Decades later, I continue to affirm that Christ carried the mantle of wisdom, love and compassion.

[Wanderer]

I was raised in a Catholic household. Never really felt any sort of connection to God, saw anything to make me think he exists or saw any point in being dragged to Church every Sunday and for the last 5 years i've been an Atheist. When I DID go to church however, I saw over the years that the Churchgoer population was shrinking very quickly, perhaps indicating that English society as a whole is becoming less religious. There were also very few younger people. Despite the stereotypes floating around atheists as being edgy and ultra liberal i'm neither, and I still hold Catholic morals, though I won't be coming back to religion

I know what you mean. As I mentioned in the OP, I was raised Catholic. It is my humble opinion that the Catholic Church does more to separate people from Christ than to truly find Him. Going to Catholic mass, you get the impression that people are just going through the motions. That's not what this is about. Love is not about going through the motions.

In my first 14 years of being "Christian," the closest I was to Christ was when I was approximately 12-13 years old, and that was when I just read the Bible. I read the physical Book. I didn't read anything online, as I did not have the internet yet at that time. I didn't listen to the Catholic Church much, though I attended church services. CCD classes never did much for me. It was only when I first got the internet in late 2003 or early 2004 that I began to discover what the Catholic Church actually teaches and (even worse) what it has traditionally taught. I tried to follow that--but ultimately, it led to my apostasy. I couldn't follow it; it wasn't right.

I have found new life directly with God through the Power of the Holy Spirit. I do wish to find a church and find fellowship with other Christians. I see the community as important, because we all need to be there for one another. To encourage one another. And I hope to be baptized soon. Yeah, I was baptized as an infant into the Catholic Church. But I seek baptism now as a public expression of my belief in Christ and commitment to God.

[Wanderer]

I've come a VERY long way in faith since I first started this thread.

God has made it very, very clear to me that I am His elected, adopted child. If we read Ephesians 1:3-6, we see very clearly that the child of God has been predestined to be one before the creation of the world! There is absolutely no reason I would have come to my faith if God had not intervened in my own life. Jesus absolutely found me when I was NOT looking for Him! Had I not been preselected by God, surely I would have persisted in atheism like so many people do.

Indeed, I first believed in Jesus, and that He paid the full price for my sins, from reading the Bible when I was 12-13 years old. No one made me read the Bible then; I just felt the inclination. But the Catholic church in which I was raised, to which I looked for guidance, erroneously taught me that my salvation also depends on works. Long story short, I convinced myself that God doesn't exist and became an atheist. I felt unloved by Him. So I endured the death and misery that is atheism for 14 years.

But, you know, as Jesus said, it is the Father's will that Jesus lose none of those whom the Father has given to Him. No one and nothing can separate me from Jesus now! Indeed, He has torn down so many lies for me that I see the Bible as so obviously true--and yet others cannot see this. Reality is, not everyone can have faith. The Bible is a personal love letter to the child of God. Only the Holy Spirit can make you see this. And so the only ones who can see this are the ones God preordained. In John 6:44, Jesus states the same thing. The interesting things about the original Greek text (as opposed to the English translations) is that the message conveyed is that only those preordained by Father will come to Jesus. And the means through which we are given our faith in Christ is compulsion, not persuasion. Watch this lecture series by R.C. Sproul and you'll learn this:

https://www.ligonier.org/learn/series/chosen_by_god/

Chosen by God. Yes, indeed, I am a chosen and adopted child of God! Chosen to be an eternal recipient of His love, kindness, generosity, and compassion!