My Mother Is Planning To Become A Foster Carer To Orphans, Refugees, etc.

[♥ Lily ♥]

My mum wants to become a foster carer and she wants to look after children in her large countryside home.

She said she's planning to give-up her long-time job this year in organising meetings and typing-up the minutes and notes from doctors meetings she attends on behalf of the National Health Service.

She said that in her new planned role as a foster carer, she may be looking after children whose parents are drug addicts, children who have abusive parents, or children and young adults who are refugees.

She said some of them may be kids and some of them may be young adults... some of them may only require a temporary home for a few weeks or months.... some may need a home for longer.

She said she's completed long assessment questionnaires and undergone long interviews. The weekly money that is paid to foster carers for each child or young adult that they look after is good. My mum said she wants to spend more time at home and do something in life that will be rewarding and make others feel happy.

She said that me and my sisters will be contacted soon over the phone by the people who interviewed her - to ask us on how our childhoods were... and to provide references on if we see our mother as being loving and caring.

My grandmother used to hand-knit lots of beautiful clothes when she was alive. She spent months making such beautiful hand-made clothes that she donated to orphaned children in Romania. My mother helped to make clothes for orphaned babies and children in eastern Europe.

My sister looks after elderly people in a care home... and I look after lots of dogs, and feed birds each day like my grandmother did. The maternal side of my family all like caring roles.

I know Angelina Jolie adopted a lot of children who get along well with her own children.

How would you feel if your parent(s) decided to foster and look after children, teenagers, and young adults (orphans and refugees) in their home... who are strangers and who aren't related to you? Would you feel anxious or concerned that you may lose some of their attention when the refugees and/or orphans move into your parents home?

[The Lawspeaker]

My parents are no longer alive but, at the risk of sounding harsh and direct: your mother is virtue signalling. If she really cared about orphans, she would look after British children who ended up in the British foster system. Having been raised in the foster system myself, it angers me to no extent that parents would prefer foreign children over their "own" (their own kin and countrymen). As for people looking after rapefugees: let's not even go there. They should be looking after their "own" (British) children or their own (British) poor and homeless.

[♥ Lily ♥]

My parents are no longer alive but, at the risk of sounding harsh and direct: your mother is virtue signalling. If she really cared about orphans, she would look after British children who ended up in the British foster system. Having been raised in the foster system myself, it angers me to no extent that parents who prefer foreign children over their "own".

I'm not sure if she'll be given the choice of looking after British children... I think she said that she could be expected by the Social Services to look after any unfortunate child in the U.K. (including refugees) who are in need of a home and care.

I'm still feeling a bit shocked from my mum's announcement to me the other evening over her plans to become a foster carer. I'm trying to get used to the idea of this.

[The Lawspeaker]

I'm not sure if she'll be given the choice of looking after British children... I think she said that she could be expected to look after any unfortunate child in the U.K. who is in need of a home and care.

I hope that would be British children then. There is little more that angers me more than people who take in foreigners but who kick their own countrymen to the curb. I see that a lot in Dutch middle class families and you can't possibly imagine the feelings it evokes in me. I have known people who came out so fucked up after foster care that they either became addicts or ended up taking their own lives. I hope that I didn't offend you in any way, I just feel very strongly about that stuff.

[♥ Lily ♥]

I hope that would be British children then. There is little than angers me more than people who take in foreigners but who kick their own countrymen to the curb. I see that a lot in Dutch middle class families and you can't possibly imagine the feelings it evokes in me. I have known people who came out so fucked up after foster care that they either became addicts or ended up taking their own lives. I hope that I didn't offend you in any way, I just feel very strongly about that stuff.

I'm very sorry for the negative experiences that you've endured during your childhood in foster care. I value your helpful views on this though and appreciate you sharing your experiences of life in foster care.

[The Lawspeaker]

I'm very sorry for the negative experiences that you've endured during your childhood in foster care. I value your helpful views on this though and appreciate you sharing your experiences of life in foster care.

That's o.k. I lived to tell the tale. I, personally, think that the entire foster care system should revolve around families looking after children from either their own country or their own region. Foreign adoption should be banned outright unless there is a direct family link between the child and parent (such as family of the parent with the Dutch nationality: f.i .. if something were to happen to a niece and her husband, my fiancee and I would be allowed to raise her child but only because there are direct ties between us and the parent who lost his/her life).

[Harley]

My mom was the type of person who acts hard but loves little living things, from little troublemaking toddlers to little animals. My dad is not really made for that kind of stuff. He is generous and likes giving stuff, but he’s traditional in the sense that he thinks that’s women’s work only.

I don’t believe I’m suited to be a short term carer, in the sense that I would take it very hard emotionally once the kid has to leave. It’s already been like this with nieces and nephews, and I’ve experienced mini heartbreaks over this kind of thing. I don’t have a big enough heart to let go. I hate to say that, because I know there are many kids that need a loving home with loving caretakers.

[♥ Lily ♥]

My mum and her live-in friend said she they did another assessment interview this week and she told me yesterday evening that she's moving to a larger house in the countryside in 5 weeks time with extra bedrooms and guestrooms... the extra bedrooms being for the planned foster children, and the spare guestrooms being for when my sisters and I, our sons and daughters, and my mother's friend's sons and grandchildren travel to visit and stay.

I tried to sound pleased for her on the phone, but I can't help but quietly feel a bit anxious and unsettled about adjusting to all these changes at the moment.... the moving of house and the thought of other children who I'm not related to living with my mother and her friend.