Should parents allow their kids to drink once before sending them off to college?

[Sikeliot]

Another potentially controversial subject and for the record, I have never even tasted alcohol but I saw an article on this today and thought I should ask you guys.

Some kids never even have tasted alcohol before going off to college.. and as we all know, the taste of alcohol is such that some people find it strong and unbearable if they're not used to it. Some people, also cannot hold their alcohol as well as others can.. and for someone who has never drank alcohol, they don't know their limits.

In college many kids will be faced with situations where according to them and/or their peers, it will make them look uncool and like a complete prude if they refuse to drink at all. Some can handle peer pressure well, some cannot. But I can imagine it's very embarrassing to have your first drink at a college party and spit it out or cringe because you can't even swallow it let alone actually finish one drink..

But so as to make these types of situations less awkward, should a parent allow their child to somewhat explore these areas i.e. taste different types of alcohol and figure out their limits, so as to learn HOW to drink responsibly should they choose to, and so they can handle alcohol and its tastes and effects?

[Oreka Bailoak]

should a parent allow their child to somewhat explore these areas i.e. taste different types of alcohol and figure out their limits, so as to learn HOW to drink responsibly should they choose to, and so they can handle alcohol and its tastes and effects?

Yes. My first day at college I went to a party and drank for the first time and I threw up everywhere and it was really embarrassing because I didn't know my limit. This really isn't that big of a deal though- I learned my lesson (until my 3rd or 4th party when I tried everclear for the first time- that's an entirely different lesson to learn about personal limits). However, teaching kids responsible morals and responsible behavior is far more important than letting them try alcohol.

I think parents should treat alcohol as acceptable for kids about over the age of 16-17 as long as they teach them moderation and responsibility when drinking only on rare occasions.

What is more important is parents having a talk with their kids about the purpose of dating, avoiding bad groups of people and focusing on school work.

One of my friends parents had a talk to his son about the importance of finding a high quality, good moral, good looking fiancée in college. I really wish my parents had that conversation with me. My goals weren't that well placed until senior year- and now college is over and I'm single.......

[Sikeliot]

All very good points. Thank you

[Eldritch]

Why not, but how about we try and shift the very focus of college studies, from being a simple euphemism for binge drinking and lousy sex, towards actual studying?

[Sikeliot]

I think kids should just be prepared for everything that will come their way; how to say no to peer pressure but assuming they can't, knowing their limits.

But of course, the primary emphasis should be on schoolwork and it's unfortunate that so many people act like college is just about crazy partying and promiscuous sex.

[Wyn]

Some kids never even have tasted alcohol before going off to college..

Well, Europe and America are very different societies! I think most people here will have tasted alcohol (light stuff, e.g. beer, wine etc.) by the time they're 12 or 13 years old, if not sooner (e.g. small amounts of wine with dinner starting at a very young age, in certain countries).

It isn't really an issue where I'm from. I seem to remember being around 12 years old and seeing people of a similar age drinking bottles of beer at get-togethers and so on.

[Wanderlust]

It really depends on the child's personality but I think that they should allow them just to check the waters.They shouldn't be completely opposite because the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest..

[Curtis24]

Another potentially controversial subject and for the record, I have never even tasted alcohol but I saw an article on this today and thought I should ask you guys.

Some kids never even have tasted alcohol before going off to college.. and as we all know, the taste of alcohol is such that some people find it strong and unbearable if they're not used to it. Some people, also cannot hold their alcohol as well as others can.. and for someone who has never drank alcohol, they don't know their limits.

In college many kids will be faced with situations where according to them and/or their peers, it will make them look uncool and like a complete prude if they refuse to drink at all. Some can handle peer pressure well, some cannot. But I can imagine it's very embarrassing to have your first drink at a college party and spit it out or cringe because you can't even swallow it let alone actually finish one drink..

But so as to make these types of situations less awkward, should a parent allow their child to somewhat explore these areas i.e. taste different types of alcohol and figure out their limits, so as to learn HOW to drink responsibly should they choose to, and so they can handle alcohol and its tastes and effects?

I don't think it matters, since I believe that one's ability to drink responsibly or not is determined by genetics...

[Hess]

why not? The reason why American teenagers struggle with alcohol in the first place is because the 21 years law produces the "forbidden fruit effect", whereas teenagers who live in homes where alcohol isn't demonized have a more realistic, reasonable view of it. In some European countries, it's also part of the culture (Wine in France, Beer in Germany, Vodka in Russia and Finland, etc).

Europeans drink, and most don't see it as a big deal- Americans should get with the program. alcohol prohibition occurs in middle eastern countries and is a very Semitic, oriental tradition (made popular by Christianity, a semitic religion)

[Debaser11]

Well, you're not going to stop a child you've raised for eighteen years from behaving how they've been conditioned to behave.

Ad hoc parenting doesn't work.

That's why when parents protest along the lines of "I told him not to drink" or "I told him not to have sex" or whatever, it rings hollow even if one still sympathizes with the parent's anguish.

Children aren't computers. You don't give them isolated commands. You instill a value system within them that they use to formulate healthy decisions within a variety of different situations. They have to be taught to make sound judgement for themselves. I mean, this is common sense, but it seems to bear repeating.

At any rate, my parents never had to tell me what to do about alcohol because how they felt about it was implied by virtue of the person they raised me to be.

My attitude was similiar to their attitude:

There is nothing wrong with fun so long as you don't turn it into a vice.

I have no aversion to alcohol but have huge issues with what goes along with it at college parties.

Yet, all anyone can focus on is "the drinking." Yet, it does not follow by law that drinking has to turn into recklessness and degeneracy.