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Ho-ho!™
Are you a talented young boy actor willing to work? Wishing to shoot some "moving pictures"? Willing to make the dream come true?
Oh boy! Come right in, step into the dimly-lit Mulholland Dr. motel room, hop on the casting couch, and let Kevin Spacey put his hands all over your body, baby. Pay no attention to Mr. Harvey Weinstein sitting at the lonely corner of the bed, he loves to watch and fap, fantasizing about the next reboot/spinoff blockbuster he's gonna produce. He and Dan Schneider once offered Miranda Cosgrove $1,000,000 if she farts in their faces and she refused, the absolute the mad woman. Can you feel the Hollywood magic? Ho-ho!
Inspired by "The Lawspeaker"'s thread about a Ghostbusters re-reboot sequel, I'mma drop my one and only all-purpose public rant about this soon-to-be-extinct "entertainment" industry dodo bird here as I am aware only losers with no life care about "quality cinematography" enough to elaborately rant about it.
What's more pathetic, though, is how Mainstream Hollywood clings to life like a disco-dancing 78-year-old man clings to his 1970s polyester suit. This year only 20% of all viewers (boomers) managed to tune in to watch the arthritic hackville participation trophies circlejerk a.k.a. the Oscars and, boy, the only way things can go now is down.
There have been no original movies produced by this soulless zombie industry since the 1980s bar Artificial Intelligence (2001) and the last objective attempt at authenticity with Frozen (2013). Yea I want to build a snowman my nigga but I would rather have a better Hollywood built instead.
Judging by the fact all the recent patrician entertaining movies and kinos like Dredd (2012, UK), District 9 (2009, South Africa), Upgrade (2018, Australia), Predestination (2014, Australia) were made by foreigners, they are destined to be Hollywood's rightful creative successors then before they themselves turn into another Hollywood and the process starts all over again. Still, it's a shame to see it go out like this, an anemic marionette promenading like some whore of Babylon by 5 multinational conglomerate pimps who assume the self-serving so-called grown-up adult position of "Nothing personnel, kiddo. I am running a business here, not dreams!" You can kiss my big black ass, Materialistwood.
No more.
No more tired old kinos.
No more Star W*rs.
No more Star Tr*ks.
No more nostalgia cash-grabs.
No more of this inane 20-30 year reeking old garbage repackaged to suit social, political agendas of the moment.
Let it go.
And put on something new or go to the place where you rightfully belong, Hollywood: on the dustbin of history.
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