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Thread: Are you pissed off at your parents?

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    First of all, I am really, really close with my parents. Especially my father. And I wrote some time ago they did beat me until I left our family home (older than 25!) and it is true.
    My mother always hit me when angry since I was small girl, even as adult (try to slap me, catch my hair, it isn't really violent but funny but her agression hurt my soul a lot).

    Father never hit me in life except maybe 2 times and than he was really angry. But once he hit me across the face and broke my nose. He didn't want to do that, but it happened.
    Than he started hysterically crying saying how sorry he is and how can't I see I drive them insane. That evening I was on PC a lot until late night and my dad came to my room saying I need to stop and go to sleep.

    I scremed to him something really rude like : ''get the fuck out, old man!!!, you won't tell me what to do!'' and he hit me and that happened. We both cried and he never hit me again.
    When I am angry I always say to him how he broke my nose and how he could have go to jail but I know deep down I was deep into internet addiction and my studies were suffering hard so poor old man didn't know what to do.

    It didn't help I was very rude towards them. My mother however was always agressive towards me and that is very wrong. She just has very thin nerves. I have very low self esteem because of that and she never apologized.

    She always say: but I did everything for you, etc. Well, it's partly true. i always got anything I wanted, she send me to best school, to US, to Germany, give me best opportunities she could.
    But because of high strain of her very demanding job she often abused me and maybe when we become older she will realise it was wrong!

    Father always dedicate lot of time to me, learn me intellectual things, spend hours in very deep conversation with me about life, history, politics, female-male relationship, anything.
    I always felt I can say anything to my father and he will never judge me but with mom it is different.

    Now that I live away our relationship is better than ever. I still carry insecurities because of our erratic and hysterical home life, which was stressful. Mostly because of my mother demanding career, my internet addciation which was so bad during Uni it looked like I will never graduate, my sister illness etc. I think they love us very much but did many mistakes, but we did some too.

    Problem remains my mom doesn't want to accept Stears. And I am not optimistic that in the future she will.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Leeloo View Post
    First of all, I am really, really close with my parents. Especially my father. And I wrote some time ago they did beat me until I left our family home (older than 25!) and it is true.
    My mother always hit me when angry since I was small girl, even as adult (try to slap me, catch my hair, it isn't really violent but funny but her agression hurt my soul a lot).

    Father never hit me in life except maybe 2 times and than he was really angry. But once he hit me across the face and broke my nose. He didn't want to do that, but it happened.
    Than he started hysterically crying saying how sorry he is and how can't I see I drive them insane. That evening I was on PC a lot until late night and my dad came to my room saying I need to stop and go to sleep.

    I scremed to him something really rude like : ''get the fuck out, old man!!!, you won't tell me what to do!'' and he hit me and that happened. We both cried and he never hit me again.
    When I am angry I always say to him how he broke my nose and how he could have go to jail but I know deep down I was deep into internet addiction and my studies were suffering hard so poor old man didn't know what to do.

    It didn't help I was very rude towards them. My mother however was always agressive towards me and that is very wrong. She just has very thin nerves. I have very low self esteem because of that and she never apologized.

    She always say: but I did everything for you, etc. Well, it's partly true. i always got anything I wanted, she send me to best school, to US, to Germany, give me best opportunities she could.
    But because of high strain of her very demanding job she often abused me and maybe when we become older she will realise it was wrong!

    Father always dedicate lot of time to me, learn me intellectual things, spend hours in very deep conversation with me about life, history, politics, female-male relationship, anything.
    I always felt I can say anything to my father and he will never judge me but with mom it is different.

    Now that I live away our relationship is better than ever. I still carry insecurities because of our erratic and hysterical home life, which was stressful. Mostly because of my mother demanding career, my internet addciation which was so bad during Uni it looked like I will never graduate, my sister illness etc. I think they love us very much but did many mistakes, but we did some too.

    Problem remains my mom doesn't want to accept Stears. And I am not optimistic that in the future she will.
    If he has married you, and you have his child, why will she not accept him? I hope this is not a sensitive question.

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    Quote Originally Posted by metalAphrodite View Post
    If he has married you, and you have his child, why will she not accept him? I hope this is not a sensitive question.
    She think he isn't normal. He is most likely an Aspie and she thinks I deserve better. My mother say he is very creepy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Leeloo View Post
    She think he isn't normal. He is most likely an Aspie and she thinks I deserve better. My mother say he is very creepy.
    I fought with my parents a lot about my choices when it came to marriage. First marriage, I didn’t want to be married to the guy, but my mom said I will embarrass the whole family if I don’t go through with it. I have my daughter from that marriage, so I don’t regret it, but if I had the guarantee I could have my same daughter without him, I would say no.

    Second marriage, my dad thinks my husband is wimpy, but he is not. My husband is hardworking and takes care of our family. There is no shortage of love and affection. As long as you feel strong about your love and your family, maybe your mom can see with time that he is good for your family.

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    Quote Originally Posted by metalAphrodite View Post
    I fought with my parents a lot about my choices when it came to marriage. First marriage, I didn’t want to be married to the guy, but my mom said I will embarrass the whole family if I don’t go through with it. I have my daughter from that marriage, so I don’t regret it, but if I had the guarantee I could have my same daughter without him, I would say no.

    Second marriage, my dad thinks my husband is wimpy, but he is not. My husband is hardworking and takes care of our family. There is no shortage of love and affection. As long as you feel strong about your love and your family, maybe your mom can see with time that he is good for your family.
    Hey, very happy to hear you found a right man for yourself Do you plan to have another child with him ?

    Parents are rarely happy about our partner choices. My mom is very passionate, straight-foward, strong woman, she is very displeased about the fact Stears is very reserved, formal when speaking to them, she complained he doesn't have any emotions.
    That is not true ofcourse. He shows many emotions to me. I told him he could be warmer with my parents and he just said: ''why ? I keep my emotions for you''. That is why many people think he is cold hearted person.

    And it couldn't be any further from truth. But he is learning to be more open in communication with other people, and he teached me how to be calm and not shout.
    One of reasons I was drawn towards him is because he is one of calmest men I ever encountered. He never raised his voice towards me,never. Even when angry.

    It is very masculine character trait, I think. As long as he shows love towards his family, I am happy. My mother will see that in long term, I hope.

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    For me, there have never been, and there will never be any people better than my parents!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Leeloo View Post
    Hey, very happy to hear you found a right man for yourself Do you plan to have another child with him ?

    Parents are rarely happy about our partner choices. My mom is very passionate, straight-foward, strong woman, she is very displeased about the fact Stears is very reserved, formal when speaking to them, she complained he doesn't have any emotions.
    That is not true ofcourse. He shows many emotions to me. I told him he could be warmer with my parents and he just said: ''why ? I keep my emotions for you''. That is why many people think he is cold hearted person.

    And it couldn't be any further from truth. But he is learning to be more open in communication with other people, and he teached me how to be calm and not shout.
    One of reasons I was drawn towards him is because he is one of calmest men I ever encountered. He never raised his voice towards me,never. Even when angry.

    It is very masculine character trait, I think. As long as he shows love towards his family, I am happy. My mother will see that in long term, I hope.
    I hope to have another child with my husband. The timing has always been off. My husband is always thinking about a million things then trying for a child when it’s too late in my cycle. He drives me crazy lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by metalAphrodite View Post
    My mom passed away, but mostly, her moods, even though mercurial, didn’t matter in the long run because she always loved her children and would kind of tease/roast us daily. She had really weird road rage, and so she would annoy/roast random people while driving and we’re like trying to talk her down from doing it. I miss my mom.

    I need space from my dad. I don’t hate him, but he used to beat the shit out of me as a kid and in my early 20s, as if I were another man. I’m almost like a tank due to this, but whatever. That part is in the past. What’s not in the past is his constant verbal, mental, and emotional abuse. I can’t handle it because it’s either I crush him verbally out of anger from having enough of his abuse or back off. I chose back off. If I chose to treat him like he treats me, the difference is I will break him. When you know you can do something, it doesn’t mean you should.

    And I won’t. It’s not the type of person I want to be. To me, that’s the legacy I’ll leave myself: to have a life full of love and truth, and not be cowed into being someone I don’t want to be.
    Same here girl. My mom passed away recently and my dad is abusive as hell but I'm trying to keep the family together.

    Condolences.

    Sent from my CHM-U01 using Tapatalk

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