How many times have you married in your life?

**Harley** · 03-22-2019, 04:39 PM

Originally Posted by Kazimiera

Three times.

I had the brain fart at 18 that my boyfriend and I should get married. It was more a case of showing off and being 'different' than a true marriage. Everyone my age was studying and I was the only one who could say that I'm married. Things didn't go so well. He drank a lot - and I mean a lot. He drank to the point where he was unconscious and he used to piss and shit in the bed on a regular basis. I don't even know how many times I woke up covered in piss and shit. I'd have to drag him to the shower, get into the shower with him and scrub him clean in the middle of the night. It got to the point where I was putting large plastic garbage bags under the sheets so that he didn't fuck up the mattress and the mess was easier to clean. When I intimated that I wanted to study, he was against it. I then made the decision to leave him because 1) I wanted a career 2) I was tired of being shat on by a drunk every day of the week. My divorce went through when I was 21.

I married again when I was 26 to the most awesome man in the world. He loved me more than anything and treated me well. We had a blissful time together. After two years of marriage, he passed away from cancer when I was 28.

Then I met another most wonderful man in the world. We are together 10 years now. He says that every now and again he looks up to heaven and says to my late husband, "I hope you're happy with the way I'm looking after her".

I feel like I can relate to your reasoning for your first marriage. I did the same with my first marriage. I should have left earlier, but I stayed seven years because I thought I was not trying hard enough to make it work. I only had enough sense of self to leave after I realized this was very bad for my kid.

I’m very happy you were able to have meaningful relationships after this. Very sweet.

**Kazimiera** · 03-22-2019, 04:41 PM

Originally Posted by metalAphrodite

I feel like I can relate to your reasoning for your first marriage. I did the same with my first marriage. I should have left earlier, but I stayed seven years because I thought I was not trying hard enough to make it work. I only had enough sense of self to leave after I realized this was very bad for my kid.

I’m very happy you were able to have meaningful relationships after this. Very sweet.

I fortunately do not have children so I never experienced that angle. I would imagine that is complicates matters a lot more if there are children involved.

**Harley** · 03-22-2019, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by Kazimiera

I fortunately do not have children so I never experienced that angle. I would imagine that is complicates matters a lot more if there are children involved.

Having the kid made me leave sooner. Before that, I used to be worried, concerned how it would make myself or my ex look if I left him, even though he was regularly laying hands on me. Having my kid made me more concerned for her well being than my reputation. I did face some problems with gossip and people treating me bad because of “divorce”, but it was easy to dismiss that for her.

Having a child saved my life. I don’t know if that makes me co-dependent for saying that, but I feel from the bottom of my heart that I wouldn’t have the strength to save myself because I didn’t like myself that much when I was younger.

**Kazimiera** · 03-22-2019, 04:58 PM

Originally Posted by metalAphrodite

Having the kid made me leave sooner. Before that, I used to be worried, concerned how it would make myself or my ex look if I left him, even though he was regularly laying hands on me. Having my kid made me more concerned for her well being than my reputation. I did face some problems with gossip and people treating me bad because of “divorce”, but it was easy to dismiss that for her.

Having a child saved my life. I don’t know if that makes me co-dependent for saying that, but I feel from the bottom of my heart that I wouldn’t have the strength to save myself because I didn’t like myself that much when I was younger.

I think most people have "issues" with themselves when they are younger. Why else would I have let someone literally shit and piss all over me for two years? I was wearing rose-coloured glasses and somehow felt that I had to be his savior. Well, we saw how that turned out. I wouldn't tolerate this today because I'm much more self-assured now. I'm sure you are too. And I'm glad that you managed to find someone who loves you too. I remember a few years back you were posting your engagement ring.

**Ayetooey** · 03-24-2019, 11:11 PM

0.

**Tom Cat** · 03-24-2019, 11:31 PM

I was formally engaged four times. The first three fizzled out before we tied the knot. But I actually married my fourth fiancee.

**MiloshN** · 03-24-2019, 11:32 PM

Not yet

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**frankhammer** · 03-24-2019, 11:52 PM

Engaged once due to the shotgun effect. Managed to dodge the bullet there.

**~~Ice~~** · 03-26-2019, 09:55 PM

once

two healthy sons and thats all i have from my first and only marraige. my ex-wife ruined my life. i hope she gets married so i won't have to pay child maintenance money anymore. when my sons are older i will take them away. i don't want to seperate them from their mother now.

being single is great. i can fuck whoever i want, when i want. if i want i can go to japan or usa tomorrow, nobody will stop me. married people have to arrange such things.

**Nurzat** · 03-26-2019, 10:04 PM

first marriage, hope it lasts although she gets more bitchier as I go nicer - I cook a lot, clean, work in the garden, above average wage bla bla and she still exaggerates over any tiny thing she doesn't like, d'oh... women... but overall it's ok.

anyway, marriage is not for anyone, don't get into it unless you are serious about it. you have to make the decision with your brain, not with your heart.