Florida Man Challenge: Which ridiculous headline matches your birthday?

[Kazimiera]

Florida Man Challenge: Which ridiculous headline matches your birthday?



All you have to do is google “Florida Man” and your birthday, and boom. You have your Florida Man horoscope.

[Kazimiera]

Mine!

Florida man charged with stabbing a woman with a fork over underdone potato

A Florida man is facing charges after he assaulted a woman because his food was undercooked, according to multiple news reports.

According to Action News Jax, 36-year-old Kenneth Crumpton of Yulee, Florida, stabbed a woman in the head with a fork when his potato arrived not cooked to his liking.

The woman had multiple stab wounds and blood on her head but refused treatment, according to the news site.

Crumpton was booked into the Nassau County Jail on at 2:51 a.m. Monday.

[SardiniaAtlantis]

Florida man killed family after fight over $200,000 he sent to online ‘girlfriend,’ cops say.

Omg it was some moron who killed his parents and family over sending money to some ridiculous online cam girl slag in Bulgaria. What a pathetic headline.

[Kazimiera]

Florida man killed family after fight over $200,000 he sent to online ‘girlfriend,’ cops say.

Omg it was some moron who killed his parents and family over sending money to some ridiculous online cam girl slag in Bulgaria. What a pathetic headline.

They are all moronic and pathetic headlines - that's why it is so funny! (Or at least I think so.)

[KMack]

Florida Man Challenge: Which ridiculous headline matches your birthday?



All you have to do is google “Florida Man” and your birthday, and boom. You have your Florida Man horoscope.

https://twitter.com/_floridaman?lang=en
Here is the twitter page,

[Kazimiera]

My husband's "Florida Man"

Not only was the screaming man in the Publix parking lot punching cars, he was naked



A naked Florida man in a Publix parking lot kicked trash cans and jumped on and punched cars while screaming “I only had one beer!” cops say.

Indian River County sheriff’s deputies arrested Jonathan Boettcher, 46, and charged him with disorderly public intoxication.

According to the arrest report, a deputy arrived at a Publix on U.S. 1 in Vero Beach Thursday night to find Boettcher swinging his arms and yelling while wearing no shirt and no underwear, but with basketball shorts around his ankles.

The deputy said Boettcher was sweating uncontrollably as he yelled “I only had one beer!” and “I only wanted to smoke some pot.”

[Nurzat]

Florida man allegedly neglected grandmother to point of death, buried her, tried to flee country

[Kazimiera]

My mom's Florida Man

A suspect killed five people inside a SunTrust bank branch in Florida. Just one employee escaped.



A man accused of shooting dead five women at a Florida bank has long been fascinated with death and guns, a woman identifying herself as his former girlfriend has said.

Zephen Xaver "for some reason always hated people and wanted everybody to die," Alex Gerlach told WSBT-TV.

On Wednesday, Mr Xaver called police from the SunTrust bank in the town of Sebring to report the shooting.

The 21-year-old surrendered after police stormed the bank, officials say.

Police chief Karl Hoglund said at a news conference on Thursday authorities have no information about Mr Xaver's true motive at this time, but believe it was a random act of violence.

He identified two of the victims as Cynthia Watson, a customer, and Marisol Lopez, a bank employee.

The three other victims were also bank employees, but their families have requested that police not reveal their names.

"We now begin the healing process," Mr Hoglund told reporters, voice heavy with emotion.

"We attempt to make sense of a senseless act. We attempt to mourn the loss of our peers, our neighbours, our mothers and daughters."

What do we know about the suspect?

Mr Xaver has been charged with five counts of premeditated murder. He was denied bond and remains in custody. Prosecutors will seek the maximum penalty.

Mr Xaver worked as a trainee prison officer with the Florida Department of Corrections, according to officials. There were no issues during his employment, but he resigned abruptly in January.

Speaking on Thursday, Ms Gerlach said that nobody had taken seriously previous threats made by her former boyfriend.

"He got kicked out of school for having a dream that he killed everybody in his class, and he's been threatening this for so long, and he's been having dreams about it and everything," Ms Gerlach told WSBT-TV.

"Every single person I've told has not taken it seriously, and it's very unfortunate that it had to come to this," she added.

[Profileid]

Naked Florida man chases couple around Chick-fil-A parking lot

PALM COAST, Fla. (WKMG) -- A Palm Coast man is accused of running around naked, swearing and yelling at people to look at his genitals while in a Chick-fil-A parking lot, according to Flagler County Sheriff's Office officials.

Cory Hatzl, 30, was arrested Monday morning after a woman called authorities around 1 a.m. saying Hatzl was chasing her boyfriend and "trying to fight" him.

The woman received a call from her boyfriend who was riding his bike by a Winn-Dixie on Palm Coast Parkway when Hatzl started chasing him, authorities said. The woman said when she and her boyfriend arrived at the Chick-fil-A, Hatzl tried to fight her boyfriend and then started to take off his clothes.

Officials said Hatzl kept yelling at the woman's boyfriend, "you're gay for looking at my penis."

When deputies arrived, Hatzl had dried blood on his nose and would not tell authorities his name. Officials said Hatzl yelled at multiple vehicles driving by to look at his genitals while authorities tried to get him to put shorts on.

Hatzl is charged with obstruction by not cooperating with authorities. The woman and her boyfriend did not press charges for indecent exposure.

[Morena]

Haha. I got a funny one. Thank goodness!

PALM BAY, Fla. - A Florida man who was driving drunk on a scooter with a dog in a shopping bag was arrested Thursday afternoon on a DUI charge, according to the Palm Bay Police Department.

The incident began around 1 p.m. after a witness saw 61-year-old Robert Giampino's dog jump out of the shopping bag he was holding while riding down Bay Lakes Boulevard on his scooter, according to the report.

Giampino stopped to get the dog, but instead ended up losing control of the scooter and setting it down, causing him to injure himself, the affidavit said.

"The dog decided that he didn't want to stay in the shopping bag he was holding any longer, jumped out of the bag. He came to a brief stop and then laid the scooter down and injured himself with some scuff marks on the knees and elbows," responding officer Darin Morgan said.

: