55 Soviet-era jokes

[The Lawspeaker]

These jokes (and others like these) were highly popular during the communist era. To many, the existence of these jokes was the factor that maintained sanity in a world where the State was in "all and everything" and deprivation of even the most basic goods was the absolute norm for most of the people.

[Nazarene]

Wow Communism is so liberating

[The Lawspeaker]

And they are gold !

A judge walks out of his chambers laughing his head off. A colleague approaches him and asks why he is laughing. "I just heard the funniest joke in the world!" "Well, go ahead, tell me!" says the other judge. "I can't – I just gave someone ten years for it!"

Why do the Stasi work together in groups of three? — You need one who can read, one who can write, and a third to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

Honecker and Mielke are discussing their hobbies. Honecker: "I collect all the jokes about me." Mielke: "Well we have almost the same hobby. I collect all those who tell jokes about you."

How can you tell that the Stasi has bugged your apartment? — There's a new cabinet in it and a trailer with a generator in the street.

An old woman asks her granddaughter: "Granddaughter, please explain Communism to me. How will people live under it? They probably teach you all about it in school." "Of course they do, Granny. When we reach Communism, the shops will be full – there'll be butter, and meat, and sausage … you'll be able to go and buy anything you want..." "Ah!" exclaimed the old woman joyfully. "Just like it was under the Tsar!"

A hotel. A room for four with four strangers. Three of them soon open a bottle of vodka and proceed to get acquainted, then drunk, then noisy, singing, and telling political jokes. The fourth man desperately tries to get some sleep; finally, in frustration he surreptitiously leaves the room, goes downstairs, and asks the lady concierge to bring tea to Room 67 in ten minutes. Then he returns and joins the party. Five minutes later, he bends to a power outlet: "Comrade Major, some tea to Room 67, please." In a few minutes, there's a knock at the door, and in comes the lady concierge with a tea tray. The room falls silent; the party dies a sudden death, and the prankster finally gets to sleep. The next morning he wakes up alone in the room. Surprised, he runs downstairs and asks the concierge what happened to his companions. "You don't need to know!" she answers. "B-but...but what about me?" asks the terrified fellow. 'Oh, you...well...Comrade Major liked your tea gag a lot."