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Thread: What's the minimum qualification required for Aliyah?

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    Veteran Member Voskos's Avatar
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    Thats cool bro did you like it here? I pass next to the synagogue when i go for walk quite often, but I've never seen the inside. I think they only open it to the public on special occasions.


  2. #62
    Johannes factotum
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voskos View Post
    Thats cool bro did you like it here? I pass next to the synagogue when i go for walk quite often, but I've never seen the inside. I think they only open it to the public on special occasions.
    They told me they're open most days, something like 9-3, go in sometime and check it out. They are the only Jewish community on Crete, and they told me many or even most of their congregants are non-Jewish, despite their being Orthodox, so perhaps if you're interested in Judaism, you have the perfect community right next door. The synagogue is small, but very interesting. The old town was very pretty, my hotel was A++, some of the surburbs were run down, however. Of course this was the off-season, I imagine during tourist season it is very different. The food was also A++.
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    Irreverent Intern KuriousKatKommittee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longbowman View Post
    They're Christians in Jews' clothing (or so they aim for). I have no problem with, f/e, Methodists of Jewish parentage.
    The word you are looking for to describe these clown-ass niggas is "subversive."
    Quote Originally Posted by Longbowman View Post
    They are an evangelical community and that is what they do. It is not one or two members, it is their community. They inspire nothing in me but disdain. If they chose to be normal Christians that would be great, but they're not.
    If I had to pick a new group of friends and my two choices were either Far Right Neo-Nazis or The Special Ed Proselytizers I would pick the former because at least they niggas up front about they mission (and their cosplays WAY more hilarious too). *dabs on the proselytizers 1940s style*
    Quote Originally Posted by Dna8 View Post
    What's the minimum qualification required for Aliyah?
    1. 50,000 posts minimum on The Apricity dot com.
    2. Magen david tramp stamp. (Secret IDF initiation ritual).
    3. Don't place the milk container next to that slice of ham in the fridge ever again. It disrupts Big Nigga's tree of life 9th chakra, thus TRIGGERING him/her/them/xim.
    4. New rule: Separate dish cloth for every utensil. Your new Roommate does not like it when you dry forks with Their cloth instead of your own. Also, new rule: No sex with Their cloth and using it as a special cum sock. That is an abomination to the LANDLORD, your Roommate.
    5. Now that you were introduced to your new, clearly autistic Roommate that makes you tremble from disgust, you must do everything to keep Them happy, always sticking to the autistic daily schedule pinned on the fridge which They call "commandments" (how cute).


    6. Leave your Roommate and become a godless diaspora nomad seen with disdain by both condescending Israeli niggas and patronizing religious niggas alike.
    7. Have anal sex.
    8. Realize that the Promised Land was in your heart all along and that Big Nigga permeates every atom that makes up you, your body, everything around you, the entire world (The Cope Method) so then whether you is homeless in Mogadishu or dying from antibiotics resistant dysentery in a California run-down hospital bed it does not matter because Big Nigga still with you.

    Oh, wrong tutorial. I thought you was asking what the Big Nigga's Hood joining qualifications are because aliyah to Israel is way easier! Just ask all the non-Jewish Russians who slipped in in the 1980s.

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