Brother, I feel your pain! If you are asking this very question, you’ve already demonstrated a repentant attitude. Only God can change a person’s heart so as to bring anyone back to faith in Christ (and, for that matter, we see in John 6:44 that no one can even come to Jesus in the first place unless the Father COMPELS that person to do this – this is the actual meaning if the Greek verb that is translated “to draw”). As a former apostate myself, I am aware of the anxiety that this verse can cause. But I’m confident enough that it does not mean what you fear it means.
The most immediate and concise answer I can think of is that James 5:19-20 plainly teaches that is possible (and necessary) for a believer who has erred from the truth to be brought back. This is a problem verse for an Arminian who holds to
once saved, always saved. I have heard it argued that “death” in this context refers not to salvation, but to physical death (a la Ananias and Sapphira), but this interpretation doesn’t seem to hold water because the object of death spoken of in this verse is the "soul." We see that death of the soul refers to damnation - see Matthew 10:28.
There are numerous other problems with the interpretation that you fear. God's covenant with Israel in the Old Testament foreshadows the covenant of grace that is extended to individuals. Yet Israel is constantly falling away, worshipping false gods, persecuting the prophets, and even crucifying the Son of God. Yet God's covenant with Israel is irrevocable. Indeed, there's a growing understanding that replacement theology is utterly wrong, especially as we see prophecies concerning Israel being fulfilled right in front of our eyes. So we see that "all Israel will be saved" (Romans 11:26) - not all ethnic Jews, but at the very least we see this applies to Israel as a nation.
As ChildofMud pointed out, Jesus is indeed the Good Shepherd who will not lose even a single one of His sheep (John 10:27-30). The parable of the lost sheep, the prodigal son, the denials of Peter, the doubting of Thomas... there are so many examples. In 1 Corinthians 5:5, the Apostle Paul even speaks to the desirability of handing over a sinner to Satan so that the sinner's soul may ultimately be saved.
Finally, and perhaps most significantly, the context of the passage in question does not favor the interpretation that you fear. The Book of Hebrews is addressed to Jewish Christians. Unlike the Gentiles, these were Christians who, if they fell away, would return to the OT sacrificial system. The overall theme of Hebrews is the one-time, all-sufficient sacrifice of Christ. With this in mind, I think we can understand the reason given for this warning, in Hebrews 6:6:
"they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame." If one thinks he still needs to make sacrifices to atone for sin, then he is saying Christ's
one time sacrifice was not enough. Is that not blasphemy? Is the blood of the Son of God not worth so much more than the blood of animals?! So it is apostasy, but not just any kind. It's a warning against apostasy to Jewish Christians that they cannot be saved by going back to the Old Covenant system if they have once "tasted the heavenly gift" of the New Covenant. It's a warning that Catholics should actually take a good, hard look at when they purport to re-sacrifice Christ as eat His literal flesh, and drink His literal blood, in their mass! Jesus Himself is our high Priest (Hebrews 4:14-16), who makes intercession for us (Hebrews 7:25), so there's no need for other priests!
Your observation that this interpretation is an Arminian viewpoint is an astute one. While I recognize that many Christian brothers hold to Arminianism, and I would probably not seek to push the issue too much, if I may offer some advice: there is only ONE Biblical truth. Thus their interpretation is not equally valid. All the five points of Calvinism are Biblical. People resist the predestinarian interpretation of Scripture because it denies human will and agency. But this is pure humanism! It’s not Biblical.
To be sure, there is much about God that is yet to be revealed to us. But we should not shy away about what has been revealed, especially when concerns such as yours arise. To that end, I would aver that the Bible teaches both double predestination AND equal ultimacy. The latter is a very controversial point indeed (but EASILY demonstrable:
https://inthelasthour.com/equal-ultimacy/). But I bring it up to make the point that nothing can occur apart from God's sovereignty. If anyone falls away from the Christian faith, it is because God predestined it. Likewise, if any who had previously fallen away sincerely return, it is also because He predestined it! Nothing you do can surprise God or alter His eternal purposes. The fact that these truths are Scripturally discernible is precisely because God intended it this way. It's not as if we've happened upon a truth that He does not want us to know. It should bring us comfort that our salvation is in God's hands, not our own. Nothing we do or are even capable of doing can alter God's eternal purposes! Accordingly, it is impossible for a child of God to ever "give back" salvation, as it were.
As John Calvin notes, Augustine had some interesting comments on this. We see that the perseverance of the saints is most manifestly a
final perseverance.
http://www.the-highway.com/Calvin_sectionI.html
And as Augustine, tracing the beginning or origin of election to the free and gratuitous will of God, places reprobation in His mere will likewise, so he teaches that the security of our salvation stands in that will also, and in nothing else. For, writing to Paulinus, he affirms that those who do not persevere unto the end, belong not to the calling of God, which is always effectual and without any repentance in Him. And, in another work, he maintains more fully that perseverance is freely bestowed on the elect, from which they can never fall away. "Thus," says he "when Christ prayed for Peter, that his faith might not fail, what else did He ask of God, but that there might be with, or in, Peter's faith a fully free, fully courageous, fully victorious, fully persevering will, or determination? And He had just before said, 'The foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are His.' The faith of such, which worketh by love, either faileth not at all, or, if there be any in whom it does partially fail, it is renewed and restored before this life is ended. That iniquity which had interrupted it is done away, and the faith still perseveres unto the end. But those who are not designed of God to persevere if they fall from the Christian faith, and the end of life finds them in that state thus fallen such, doubtless, could not have been of this number of God's elect, even while they were, to all appearance, living well and righteously. For such were never separated from the general mass of perdition by the foreknowledge and predestination of God, and therefore were never 'called according to His purpose.'" And, that no one might be disturbed in mind because those sometimes fall away who had been considered the sons of God, he meets such perplexed ones thus: "Let no one think that those ever fall away who are the subjects of predestination, who are the called according to God's purpose, and who are truly the children of promise. Those who live godly in appearance are, indeed, called by men the children of God; but, because they are destined sometime or other to live ungodly, and to die in that ungodliness, God does not call them His children in His foreknowledge. They who are ordained unto life are understood, by the Scripture, to be given unto Christ. These are predestinated and called, according to God's purpose. Not one of these ever perishes. And on this account no such one, though changed from good to bad for a time, ever ends his life so, because he is for that end ordained of God, and for that end given unto Christ, that he might not perish, but have eternal life."
Hope this helps.
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