Jane Goodall Behavior Institute: H. sapiens at its FINEST. (Compilation w/Dub Remixes) (Vol. 1)

[KuriousKatKommittee]

Dr. Neil "Jane" Fonda-DeTyson PhD MA MBA MS MSW MSM Guggenheim motherfucking Fellow from Middle Aged Deadbeat Alcoholic Fringe Science Cranks dot nih dot gov here to narrate this human behavior safari ride. Remember, do not feed the humans or they might cling to you and before you know it you are in an arbitrary co-dependent primate bond that humans call "marriage" by the end of this ride.

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Now observe. A female human (H. sapiens Subject A) was caught "stealing" in a humans' feeding station exhibit (humans exchange magic paper for human fodder here and people who refuse to turn in magic paper are called "thieves") by a more vigilant female human (H. sapiens Subject B). (Note Subject B's physiological response including rapid breathing, mydriasis, and the classic territorial human shouts when the Subject A refused to turn in their magic paper: "Go feed your piglets you big, nasty bitch" and "Fuck that ho, I'm not 'him'" in an attempt to establish her social status as the alpha leader of the human feeding station pack.)

But, uh oh, looks like other "shoppers" (human word for human feeding station inhabitants) exhibit a "careless bystander" effect, rejecting her alpha shopper contender status.

Scientists still puzzled over what caused H. sapiens Subject B's attempt at being taken seriously to fail.

Edit: Wait, this is not a wholesome safari train JIFF. Oops.

Spoiler!

[KuriousKatKommittee]

[KuriousKatKommittee]

Or what's going on here? What do all these human squeaks that these creatures hurl at each other really mean? For what reason do they produce these sounds? An aural assault? A failed attempt at mating? Territorial disputes? The study is inconclusive.

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Footage from Stanford University archives no doubt

What is the lesson you are taking away from this, class? Don't go outside or human niggas, the most brutal animal species on Earth, will kill you with loud vocalizations lmfao.