So, a typical situation. Mother and father turned against each other, and had to separate. Who gets the kids?

Before the situation, both parents did occasionally beat the kids. The father would beat them more often, depending on the frequency of kid's misbehaviour, while the mother would basically beat them as a reaction to her personal stress in life and work - if she was stressed, she would give a so-called "laundry" (50+ times, full power) for basically anything.

The court surveyed the kids, and had psychologist session with both parents. The voices of kids were mixed, and basically every kid wanted to live with the parent of the same gender. The psychologist was a female. Verdict: Kids go with the mother.

The court said that the father still retains his "parental privilege", by being able to meet the kids. OK, but it wasn't true, because he couldn't just take the kids without mother's permission, and mother would never give permission. So, in fact, he was just like any stranger to the kids.



The difference was that he was responsible to pay monthly child support. This caused even more rift between the parents. Also, it worsened the relations between kids and both parents. The father started to treat the kids as "tax collectors", while the mother, when stressed at work, would throw all her emotions at the "disloyal subjects", who wanted to live with the father. That means, girls could basically do anything they wanted, while boys had this forbidden that forbidden, this and that responsibilities, cook the dinner, care about the heating, wipe the floor, right now, I don't care that you're talking with your girlfriend, wipe the floor.


Now, here is what I think. I do not see it right, that someone not only loses his beloved kids, but also gets financial liability for the ex-wife he hates. Here is how would I see it done properly:

If each of the parents wants kids for themselves, and they cannot agree - the court should set responsibility relative to the level of privilege. That is, if all the kids live with the mother, father should not have any financial responsibility for them, as they are not his problem. Right, he had sex with their mother, but it was a well-planned decision, both wanted that kids, both were ready for them. But, if he doesn't get the kids he wanted, he should not be responsible. When you send a kid to adoption to a stranger, you don't pay child support either, so why should you when you send it to your ex wife?