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Thread: IT'S TIME TO STOP, Hollywood: Ep. 2 – Professional Pandering (Official Rant VEVO)

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    ⚡treet ⚡atyr KuriousKatKommittee's Avatar
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    Default IT'S TIME TO STOP, Hollywood: Ep. 2 – Professional Pandering (Official Rant VEVO)

    Part 1
    Even an imbecile could sufficiently summarize my point better, with just "Duh. Hullywad want to make poo-poo movie look good-movie to Tom but poo-poo movie can't fool Tom! Tom want good-movie, NOW!" There, one sentence but this now applies to all internet content produced, not just Hollywood. The cancer has metastasized as seen by the Elliot "fuckjerry" Tebele case which was just the first sign of malignancy.
    ___________

    Whether in music, TV, or film, Hollywood knows what people want . . . or dies trying shoving whatever is their picture of what you want down your throat. Remember the 4 quadrant rule:
    • Big gun movie for "dudebros"
    • Quirky Pixar cat movie for "gurl nerds"
    • Either "Girls' Night Out" (co-starring unfunny obese white male actors with patchy ginger facial hair) or "I am a washed out 50yo marketing company exec but what do you know, I met my prince charming in Pooloo Hotel, Bamboob, India" (co-starring English accent-speaking half-Chinese half-Welsh HAPA chad) for moms
    • "Dealing with suicidal thoughts (while stationed in Afghanistan/Iraq/Iran/North Korea" heartfelt drama lol for dads

      Quirky Pixar cat movie for kids ("From the producers of Shrek and Maze Runner: Quirkay Pussay (Catchphrase: "Meow-kay™") 1, 2, 3. Steal your mom's Libras out of her e-wallet and preorder a Bluray box set right fucking now, buddy.")




    I preliminarily lump professional pandering 4 profit into two categories:
    a) pandering (bad pandering)
    b) "fan service" (good pandering)

    Both lack substance and are a lazy cop out of making an honest attempt at the artistique medium of filmque. One clings to a semblance of plot like something clingy to something sticky (I slept 2 hrs today. I must rant but I have no words.) while the other one more or less dropped any pretense of caring about that shit. Let me put it this way: Both fuck you in the ass and take your hard-earned wageslave paypig dollar, for sure, but only one gives you a reacharound as it does that, the other one leaves in the middle of the act laughing all the way to the bank.

    (B) Wachowski's Sense8 is quintessential "fan service" to a T but since the "service" is provided to far left niggas ("fans") who are too much indebted to the University of Postgender Pandering to Stupid Fucks to afford all the hot merch (craigslist auction selling Jamie Clayton's testicles in a formaldehyde jar that will grant BALLZY hacktivist blogger superpowers to anyone who is the highest bidder), Hollywood pulled the plug on that one because they knew a flop when they saw one. Deadpool (2016) was more lucrative to the execs so it was, naturally, turned into a bad pandering cash cow (Rule of the thumb: Good Pandering > Good Pandering: Pander Harder).

    (A) Soy Wars, for instance, is "pandering" and not fan service. Instead of keep giving you a reacharound ("Old Guy is playing my favorite character like in the original one, oh g*lly g*e!") they introduced new fetishes you didn't ask for (at least not now) (SPH, CEI, cock cages, CBT)

    Wherever there is a new social thing going on, Hollywood, like a diligent bird of prey, is there to pick it clean. By the time they are done with it you will want to drive it (not the buzzard but the prey itself, ironically enough) out of your town.
    • 1940s - Jewish niggas ("Gentleman's Agreement" 1947)
    • 1950s - rock & roll niggas (North Pontid "King" of R&R 1, 2, & 3)
    • early 1990s - feminist niggas (Thelma and Louise 1, 2, & 3)
    • early 2010s - transgender niggas
    • late 2010s - migrant Mestizo niggas
    • late 2030s - sexbot empowerment movies

    No one is safe.




    I wonder was it ever different with Hollywood?
    Spoiler!


    Hollywood is a cultural and social movement vulture that stays in business by systematically shutting down every project that pulls back the curtain on the Illusion e.g. Arthur Miller's The Death of a Wage Slave (1952) because Hollywood is a place where they build statutes to the established Illusion god and you, by buying anything ever from Disney, pay for the statue material. You need to be like Rocky (1976) [Budget: $1 m], you too can "make it," idiot [Box office: $225 m]. One hit wonders sometimes slip by e.g. Taxi Driver (1976) [Budget: $1.9 million, Box office: $28.3 m]. That's all you finna get as a "movie goer;" an occasional pat on the head where the combination of hand movement to make that patting move was purely coincidental and accidental. That spit in your face while taking your money was not.

    I am naive for sure. I hoped internet would topple the old order, not be absorbed/become another Hollywood. I am just a motherfucking DREAMer arrested by the cops of reality who need to smash my head in for me to wake the fuck up and realize Kansas ain't real either, Dorothy. Good thing my "bad" dreams do not come true because California would have already been erased from the map courtesy of Iran and/or North Korea nukes, solely for the existence of that Dumb (2019) remake [Budget: $170 million, Box office: $352.2 million].


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    ⚡treet ⚡atyr KuriousKatKommittee's Avatar
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    (I never saw the original Dumbo cartoon either but seeing the trailer for the live-action remake makes me physically nauseated.)

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