How many sexual partners did you have - fresh thread

[oszkar07]

All true, the percentages are higher, but still the vast majority of children are actually quite healthy.

It's far more important to be mentally ready and emotionally mature than to pursue anything because it's required of you.

Many people who marry and divorce have discontent and emotionally damaged kids, anxious and angry (as they age), same as the ones that dont divorce but aren't happy together. You don't know what's worse.

Getting married isn't as crucial as remaining married (with a good partner, of course.) Having kids is nothing unless you can nurture them in a decent home and provide them with the necessities.

When comparing our time to previous eras, people make huge mistakes.
Everyone nowadays has some standard and wants to be loved, including men, though many wont admit it.

Marriages were often arranged in the past or similar, as we all know.

My grandparents are from neighbouring villages, and both come from horse breeding families.
When they married, they grew wealthier and more successful over time and created a family. They respected each other.

When I was a boy, my grandpa often brought me with him everywhere, including to a village where he mowed the grass for one old lady, had coffee with her on Saturdays at 5 , and played cards.

She was left as a young widow without kids.
When she died, he always left flowers on her grave every Saturday at 5 until his death.

Only later did I realise that she was the one he truly loved for his entire life.

Grandma only respected him as the father of her kids, a friend you bond with simply because of the time you spent with. They adhered to societal rules and always slept separately.

I don't know about others, but I'd never want to live that kind of life.

What your Grandparents did was right and guess what ... probably a high percentages of marriages are like that over time.
Problem is people invest in the BS Hollywood idea of the Prince Charming or whatever Hollywood movie that the Marriage partners are going to be soulmates and
passionatly in love for ever same as when they first met.

When you have children Marriages are and become largely about the practicality of raising children
that becomes the priority.
Having as good as you can non volatile lasting relationship with the spouse hopefully getting along and being happy enough and friends/companions is pretty good result over time but it does not have to be always perfect and anyone expecting for perfection is living in lala land.

Im from probably older generation Gen X er and so maybe Im bias but i think its the problem with young people today many are selfish and not able to commit to a marriage.
In my oppinion the kids probably suffer more from divorced parents unless there is really bad domestic violence or constant arguments unhappyness
but smart parents make an effort to keep it together because they believe in what marriage is supposed to be
in terms of family-child raising.
Good on your Grandfather who cares if he had a 2nd love the main thing he kept the family together and stuck it all out and was carefull on the side, a real man. Those geerations were right not like modern generation take a divorce soon as it gets a bit difficult or one finds a better option after a couple years when they get bit bored.

Another advice maybe getting married later after a few relationships is good way to go for many people than early marriages.
I married in my 30's i think was better option for me. I lived a lot and Im really happy being a family man in this chapter my life.

[~Elizabeth~]

I'm not 100% sure what is meant by "sexual partners" here. Is it penetration only or do hot sticky fumblings in the alleyway also count?

Penetration only.

[Insuperable]

All true, the percentages are higher, but still the vast majority of children are actually quite healthy.

It's far more important to be mentally ready and emotionally mature than to pursue anything because it's required of you.

Many people who marry and divorce have discontent and emotionally damaged kids, anxious and angry (as they age), same as the ones that dont divorce but aren't happy together. You don't know what's worse.

Getting married isn't as crucial as remaining married (with a good partner, of course.) Having kids is nothing unless you can nurture them in a decent home and provide them with the necessities.

When comparing our time to previous eras, people make huge mistakes.
Everyone nowadays has some standard and wants to be loved, including men, though many wont admit it.

Marriages were often arranged in the past or similar, as we all know.

My grandparents are from neighbouring villages, and both come from horse breeding families.
When they married, they grew wealthier and more successful over time and created a family. They respected each other.

When I was a boy, my grandpa often brought me with him everywhere, including to a village where he mowed the grass for one old lady, had coffee with her on Saturdays at 5 , and played cards.

She was left as a young widow without kids.
When she died, he always left flowers on her grave every Saturday at 5 until his death.

Only later did I realise that she was the one he truly loved for his entire life.

Grandma only respected him as the father of her kids, a friend you bond with simply because of the time you spent with. They adhered to societal rules and always slept separately.

I don't know about others, but I'd never want to live that kind of life.

My maternal grandparents were in a happy marriage for 65 years. When my grandfather young died my paternal grandmother was alone till the rest of her life. Even after my father died young my mom never looked for anyone and is alone for many many years. I hate to see mom unhappy, but it's not only about how she was raised.

[Flashball]

Phobic of what? Slipping a sexy lady the Big D?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety_disorder

[Lioncourt]

For someone who is unattractive, borderline autistic and with little to no girls/women in school, uni, job and all male hobbies, it is very obvious my number is negative. I don't see this as failure of any sort, neither do I think this makes me less of a person.

The only problem is that I am not asexual and I want kids/family, which is almost impossible, given that online dating is not an option because of looks, I don't know any women irl besides my relatives and basically no woman in her late 20s and early 30s would want a man with the experience of 16 year old boy.

[Barba]

10-20. A bit different since I voted.
Unlike most of my friends, I've been in two long and serious relationships that I cared about, so I didn't have as many one-night stands, fuck buddies or pointless hookups when I was younger as I happen to have lately.

In my case everything is upside down and opposite of how it's supposed to be.
At least I remember all of the gals.

That sounds bad and you sound tired
When I've been to CH I got an impression that Swiss are reserved introverted manwhores, and more freakish than Danes, correct me if I'm wrong. Heh

[Immanenz]

What women used to sell you, was long story short purity but since the physical part of it is out of the question in most cases nowadays, the ones with serious game have put a veil on that replacing it by "Am i Naughty or Nice?" smirk-wink. You are supposed to realize she is both at the same time, it's the best deal you ll ever get and this has to be kept a secret between us (need to keep a straight face at times). Some are really good at making this elegant diversion, they get the whole act on point when they seek real relationships. That's the subtle difference many who think they need to act like plain sluts or nuns to attract guys don't understand, when this is really both at different time and space.

It's basically "The girl next door", literally her in the movie (hence why it got so popular). She looks hot, she seems cheeky, what if she is also nice?!?...Of course she also turns out to be very nice after an unsustainable cliffhanger of 5 minutes... It's the ideal image we ve been unconsciously trading against purity, deep down no guy in reality pretends to need anything else. Ironically she s a pornstar in the movie, but that perfectly captures the new paradigm of the modern era in a caricatural way.

Well, they always pendle between nice and "flirty"- but usually the more attractive and naughty, the more snake in her- (so basically all those anti social traits very well developed).
Imo its all about the man, he needs to hack the brain of the woman. women go for what they want (or what society tells them its socially good)- but that makes them pray to men who are deemed to be good in their eyes.

For someone who is unattractive, borderline autistic and with little to no girls/women in school, uni, job and all male hobbies, it is very obvious my number is negative. I don't see this as failure of any sort, neither do I think this makes me less of a person.

The only problem is that I am not asexual and I want kids/family, which is almost impossible, given that online dating is not an option because of looks, I don't know any women irl besides my relatives and basically no woman in her late 20s and early 30s would want a man with the experience of 16 year old boy.

dude, you are not that unattractive- you are unappealing, you need to style better, you need to talk better, you need to work a lot in approaching women- thats it. For the less attractive men women are more work because the communcation has to be trained and you have to be thick skinned. Do you live in a small town- than its my bad for you because options are smaller.

[Dušan]

For someone who is unattractive, borderline autistic and with little to no girls/women in school, uni, job and all male hobbies, it is very obvious my number is negative. I don't see this as failure of any sort, neither do I think this makes me less of a person.

The only problem is that I am not asexual and I want kids/family, which is almost impossible, given that online dating is not an option because of looks, I don't know any women irl besides my relatives and basically no woman in her late 20s and early 30s would want a man with the experience of 16 year old boy.

Go to nightclub, drink a bit to relax, and meet women there.
Dating in real life much better than online dating.

[Scarface F]

I'm not 100% sure what is meant by "sexual partners" here. Is it penetration only or do hot sticky fumblings in the alleyway also count?

Only sex.

[Scarface F]

For someone who is unattractive, borderline autistic and with little to no girls/women in school, uni, job and all male hobbies, it is very obvious my number is negative. I don't see this as failure of any sort, neither do I think this makes me less of a person.

The only problem is that I am not asexual and I want kids/family, which is almost impossible, given that online dating is not an option because of looks, I don't know any women irl besides my relatives and basically no woman in her late 20s and early 30s would want a man with the experience of 16 year old boy.

You are not unattractive. I have pretty high standards when it comes to look and you look interesting and memorable. You are just probably typical IT guy, many are very clever but withdrawn and totally unexperienced with women.