I took these about Spain from a couple of sources. Feel free to post about any country you've been living in.




You know you've lived in Spain when...

# You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is perfectly acceptable. Especially at lunch time.
# You can’t get over how early bars & clubs shut back home - surely they’re shutting just as you should be going out?
# You aren’t just surprised that the Spanish plumber / decorator / electrician has turned up on time, you’re surprised he turned up at all.
# You think it’s fine to comment on everyone’s appearance. And to openly stare at strangers.
# Not giving every new acquaintance a kiss on each cheek seems so rude.
# You’re shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun - surely they should wait until at least late June?
# On msn you sometimes type ‘jajaja’ instead of ‘hahaha’
# You’re amazed when Spanish TV ad breaks last less than half an hour, especially right before the end of films.
# You forget to say please when asking for things - you implied it in your tone of voice, right?
# If anyone insults your mother, they better watch out…
# It’s not rude to answer the intercom to your flat by asking ‘Quien?’ (Who?)
# You don’t accept beer that’s anything less than ice-cold.
# You know Bimbo isn’t a slutty woman, it’s a make of ‘pan de molde’ (which, incidentally, isn’t mouldy)
# You know what a pijo / pija is and how to spot one.
# Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: ‘bueno,’ ‘coño,’ ‘vale,’ ‘venga,’ ‘pues nada’...
# You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9.
# You know that after 2pm there’s no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.
# On some Sunday mornings you have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up.
# You know how to eat boquerones and the difference between gambas, gambones, cigalas and langostinos.
# You know the difference between jamón pata negra and jamón de York, and you prefer the first.
# You know you must take two days off when you have to do any official paperchasing, for cars, residence, etc.
# You know that those astronomical prices they’re talking about are actually in pesetas, and what that means in euros.
# You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion…
# You know that 'ahora' and 'mañana' don’t really mean now and tomorrow.
# When you make arrangements to meet friends at 3, the first person turns up at 3.15…if you’re lucky!
# When women think that clear bra straps are in fact invisible.
# When it’s totally normal for every kitchen to have a deep-fat fryer but no kettle.
# Te cagas en la leche….
# To avoid that cheap Eristoff vodka you have to ask for ‘un esmirnoff’.
# You think J&B and Ballantines are OK to drink.
# When you know what a guiri is and have been called one.
# Blonde girls actually start to think their name is ‘Rubia’.
# If something is great, it’s ‘de puta madre’ (of fucking mother).
# You know the difference between cojones and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao, pollo and polla, estar hecho polvo and echar un polvo...and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!
# You can eat up to 5 times a day - first breakfast, 2nd breakfast around 11.30, almuerzo, merienda and cena.
# You know the jingles for Los Cuarenta Principales.
# If you see someone wearing a T-shirt with something written on it in English, you can almost guarantee it won’t make sense.
# When you go into a bank/bakery etc, it’s standard practice to ask ‘Quien es la ultima?’ (Who's the last one?)
# When you have the habit of answering the above question “Ahora es Usted”. (It's You now)
# Who needs a dryer when you have a washing line outside the window of your apartment?
# You are more likely to call your friends tio/a, nena, chaval, macho or even tronco than their real name.
# You answer the phone by saying ‘Yes’. Or even ¿Diga?
# You prefer UHT milk.
# You know melon and ham are a perfect combination
# You know the toilet is always 'at the back on the right'
# You say 'no?' at the end of every question
# You can spend three hours to finish a cup of coffee
# You know the state religion is not Catholicism, but football
# You learn being Catholic means going to church on weddings, communions and funerals
# You often regard parking space as the most valued thing on Earth
# You don't hear people saying 'oh I'm sorry' all the time
# You know that car won't stop at the pedestrian crossing even when intent to cross is given but you just accept it as 'the norm'
# You know what morcilla is made of and you still order and love it
# You know what the Three Kings looked like
# You know Mexican hats are sold for tourists but not worn in Spain
# You don't consider olive oil on bread a weird thing
# You miss back home at your local bar that you're not given anything -not even free olives- with that drink you asked for
* You don't know the real voices of Hollywood actors and you just don't care
* You've learned to say grathias instead of grassy ass