Evolution on its head: Just another day

[Thanas Django]

It's a beautiful Sunday morning, you wanted to spend it in bed but your Filipino girlfriend decided she wanted to have brunch with you at that new "solarpunk" place at the expensive part of your town. Well, "whatever to keep her happy amirite? happy waif happy life!!!" So, you sit at the stupid brunch place and some waitress with blue hair, a nose ring and a bunch of stupid tattoos in stupid places brings you the stupid card.

You give the menu a quick read and everything sounds as though it tastes like wet cardboard. You wave the waitress to come and ask for a pair of hardboiled eggs, a few pieces of toast, butter and honey.

"OOHH MY GOD ... EXPLOITATION OF ANIMALS" your beautiful waitress lets out hysteric autistic screeches of agony which startle an obese young woman causing her to drive her motorised scooter (paid by your taxes) onto a street light pole and collapse on the floor like a sack of potatoes.

You run to the poor obese woman to see if she is alright (you are actually running away from the nightmare waitress) and ask her: "Are you ok?"

She replies: "not interested, I identify as a lesbian foxkin".

What if monkeys evolved out of humans and not the other way around?