Cat appreciation thread

[Ulex]

I seriously hope this is only a joke in very bad taste.

So do I. And if this is the case, I will withdraw my statement above.

Edit: As a statement to Seuthanan, that is. But I still mean every word about people who are being cruel to animals.

[Treffie]

I can't remember how often this has happened to me and my very inquisitive tortie. So true!

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Trampled Under Foot:

How many times have we cats heard someone in the kitchen preparing food, we run out to see what it is, and end up being stepped on?

Well, I have a solution. We need to announce our presence. I'm sure we've all experienced what can happen when we just sit quietly behind our purr-son's ankles and wait for them to notice us. They back up and step on us. Humans can be SO stupid!

The next time you are in the kitchen with your human, let them know you are there. Give them a little holler, like, "Hey stupid, down here!" or just a polite little "hello." Of course, if your human is really stupid, you may have to give them a swipe on the leg to get their attention.

Now if your human is too quick and you don't get a chance to announce yourself before they step on you, be sure to run when they bend down to apologize. Let them chase you all over the house. This will make them feel REALLY guilty and you will be sure to get some of whatever they were preparing to eat. And if you want them to feel REALLY, REALLY guilty, refuse to eat that treat!! It will surely pay off in the future!

[Treffie]

Hampering

(Some) Rules for Cats who have a House to Run

1. DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

2. CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shagpile is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.

3. BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything - just sit and stare.

4. HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering". Following are some of the many rules for "hampering":

When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.

For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work. Embroidery and needlepoint projects make great hammocks in spite of what the humans may tell you.

For people paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income taxes or Christmas cards (annual activity), keep in mind the aim-to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.

When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. Humans love surprises!

5. WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their co-ordination skills.

6. BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so s/he cannot move around.

[Electronic God-Man]

Seuthanan, I suspected you're an asshole but now I dislike you even more. You're sick. I only wish I got my hands on you....

Clearly a sociopath.

To whom it may concern (not just Absinthe),

Where to begin? I would like to respond, but I don't want to anger anyone further. That may be impossible judging by the previous responses.

Was it a joke? Yes, in as much as I meant to test the waters. I've known people who are cat-lovers (seemingly obsessed with them) to be very emotional about the subject of felines in general, to the point of irrationality.

I should have mentioned that none of the cats were ever killed. The cats were always far too fast for the traps, of course. And the air-powered pellet gun seemed to do little harm. I can't even say I ever actually hit one either. Cats run away whether or not they were hit. I always saw the cats alive later on. Many of these cats were eventually killed by being hit by cars or by being unlucky enough to enter someone's yard when the dog was out. (Did I mention I was 10 or 11 at the time? Sure, sure...psychopath. But at the very least don't address me as if I did it yesterday.)

I thought I had stated this, but maybe not. These cats were literally pests at this point. Some appeared to have rabies judging by the foaming at the mouth. I'm sure many were carrying diseases of some form or another. Also, these were not friendly, cuddly, innocent cats. They would claw people (children mostly) and people's dogs. It appears that the Puerto Ricans living in the apartment complex across the street would just let their cats run around. Eventually there were enough of them that they stopped going back to their owners. They formed a large pack (herd, army, pride, whatever the appropriate term would be). Most often they would eat out of the many large dumpsters up there. The trash truck would come by and from inside and underneath the dumpster a dozen or more cats would pour out.

We did try to call animal services to fix the problem, but we had a hard enough time just to get the police to respond to calls in the neighborhood let alone get someone to do something about a wild cat problem. We did, however, take kittens to them some times since they would not come out to us.

A pack of dogs that had become "undomesticated" would most likely literally be hunted down and exterminated, not mildly harrassed by a couple of 11 year olds with an air rifle. Certainly rats would be annihilated without a second thought. I know, these animals in no way compare to the Cat in animal hierarchy, but I can hardly think of any other animal that would deserve such respect even when they have become a health risk.

Had I said that I shot another kid in the neighborhood with a pellet gun the reaction would have been milder. A joke about the Holocaust or lynching in the American South would not have caused the emotional outburst I have witnessed here. Someone even tried to get me banned over this (!). I think that would be a first in pro-European internet forum history, being banned for a single post in a very low-brow thread about cats.

Take a couple deep breaths.

Yours truly,

Seuthanan

@ Absinthe: Oh and what did I do before that made you think I was an asshole? I sure hope it wasn't as grave a matter as this one.

[Loki]

Sure, sure...psychopath.

That, you are not. My impression is that you are a great guy.

Someone even tried to get me banned over this (!). I think that would be a first in pro-European internet forum history, being banned for a single post in a very low-brow thread about cats.

Where? Who said that? We're not going to ban you over this. This is not Skadi.

[Absinthe]

Was it a joke? Yes, in as much as I meant to test the waters.

Yeah, surely it was a joke. To "test the waters"? What a lame excuse.

I've known people who are cat-lovers (seemingly obsessed with them) to be very emotional about the subject of felines in general, to the point of irrationality

.

Can you blame people becoming emotional in the face of the boisterous bragging of animal torture?

I should have mentioned that none of the cats were ever killed. The cats were always far too fast for the traps, of course. And the air-powered pellet gun seemed to do little harm. I can't even say I ever actually hit one either. ....

Oooohhh... but you did try to hit them? So it's less of a despicable act because you didn't manage to hit any (assuming we believe that as well )

I thought I had stated this, but maybe not. These cats were literally pests at this point.

We did try to call animal services to fix the problem, but we had a hard enough time just to get the police to respond to calls in the neighborhood let alone get someone to do something about a wild cat problem. We did, however, take kittens to them some times since they would not come out to us.

What another great excuse So instead of waiting for the authorities to deal about it, you and your bro decided to take the "Law" in your hands and devise self-made cat traps, trying to kill the cats and get your kicks in the process.

@ Absinthe: Oh and what did I do before that made you think I was an asshole? I sure hope it wasn't as grave a matter as this one.

I told you already.

That, you are not. My impression is that you are a great guy.

Well to me, he remains a sociopath.

Where? Who said that? We're not going to ban you over this. This is not Skadi.

I am starting to wish for such futile comparisons to be eradicated.

Just because one board exerts seemingly harsh policies on its members, doesn't mean another board should become troll's and sociopath's paradice in order for it not to be compared with the former. My two cents...

[Loki]

Well to me, he remains a sociopath.

Could be, but keep that to yourself.

I am starting to wish for such futile comparisons to be eradicated.

Just because one board exerts seemingly harsh policies on its members, doesn't mean another board should become troll's and sociopath's paradice in order for it not to be compared with the former. My two cents...

My two cents is that you should step back and calm down. You are overreacting.

[Absinthe]

Could be, but keep that to yourself.

He's in my ignore list from now on.

My two cents is that you should step back and calm down. You are overreacting.

I am not overracting by considering someone who bragged about animal abuse, to be a sociopath. Sorry. This is my opinion and I feel very strong about it.
I'd rather leave than have to tolerate such statements and pretend it's 'just fine' to shoot cats with airguns and try squashing them with rocks.

[Loki]

He's in my ignore list from now on.

Where is that feature? I'm an admin and don't even know it.

I am not overracting by considering someone who bragged about animal abuse, to be a sociopath. Sorry. This is my opinion and I feel very strong about it.
I'd rather leave than have to tolerate such statements and pretend it's 'just fine' to shoot cats with airguns and try squashing them with rocks.

I equally hate people who are cruel to animals ... believe me.

I think in Seuthanan's case, he was just being mischievous. He's a 20-year old lad, and the experience he talks about happened when he was 10. There must be some other reason why you hate him.

[Absinthe]

http://www.theapricity.com/forum/pro...?do=ignorelist

Gotta go now, see you later