What to do when people fall in love single sided???

**Inese** · 03-19-2009, 03:14 PM

Heya!!!!

Okay i want to discuss something: Someone you like as a friend fall in love with you , but you feel not the same now. You dont know how to treat him , you dont want to disapoint him but you want to make the situation clear also!!! What to do???

Every word can be a wrong one and it is superdifficult to find the right words!!!

The friendship should remain but it is not possible that it becomes again like in the time before the confession, dont you think so??!! Everything is different you know??? It is no good situation to pretend like nothing happenend. Self Betray is it, because deep inside you know that the other side wants more than a friendship and that influence whole conversations with him. If i ask "are you okay???" and the other says "Yes , everything fine!!!

" then i know it is a lie because the other has trouble emotions and only says he is fine to not burden the other side.

Maybe best thing is to remove the love feelings from the other side to safe friendship , but how to undo love???

**Loki** · 03-19-2009, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by Inese

Maybe best thing is to remove the love feelings from the other side to safe friendship , but how to undo love???

Unfortunately there is no way to do this without at least one side getting hurt.

The only healer in such a situation is time. The best thing one can do, is to be honest and open about it, as soon as possible -- before the other party falls even more in love. But be gentle and kind ... because one can be more or less hurt.

**Loki** · 03-19-2009, 04:12 PM

The good thing about being a human, is that there are at least 3 billion other individuals on this planet that you can mate with (of opposite sex). For Apricitians though, the number of compatible mates is considerably less, of course ... but a lot nonetheless.

Your life does not revolve around the one person who has hurt you. There will be plenty other who will be willing to love you.

**Skandi** · 03-20-2009, 12:03 AM

Tell them early on that you don't feel the same way, and then act totally normally towards them, if they say anything that hints at their feelings, ignore it and carry on as if they hadn't mentioned it. (after you have told them your point of view)

I have been on both sides of this problem with different friends, with one (me wanted me) it took nearly a year to get back to normal, but that was because we had to see eachother every day, we worked together lived together and were on the same course at university. With the other one it only took a few months.

**Crose** · 03-20-2009, 04:02 AM

Awkward position to be in. Be truthful to him and yourself. And know that time heals everything. You'll be lucky if you can keep a friendship out of it.

Who knows maybe your feelings will change?

Wishful thinking.

**~~Baron Samedi~~** · 03-20-2009, 05:41 AM

Tell him you turned lesbo!

OR, just be truthful.... It's going to suck, but whatever.

Men get over it sooner or later and start chasing after some other chick.

**HawkR** · 03-20-2009, 08:30 AM

Get drunk! Get überdrunk! And then just keep going as nothing happened and fish for other fishies

That's what I would do, dunno if it works, most likely not, but it fun get drunk nevertheless

**Inese** · 03-21-2009, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by Loki

The only healer in such a situation is time. The best thing one can do, is to be honest and open about it, as soon as possible -- before the other party falls even more in love. But be gentle and kind ... because one can be more or less hurt.

yes i know what you mean ------ I was gentle and kind but it changes not that the other side feels rejected maybe!!!? He put time and effort to speak about his feelings and i was full shocked after reading it. I had to take time to think about and find good words , but we now try to go on as before. Problem is that i know that there is more and he knows too , so if we pretend that there is everything normal then it is a lie i think.....

Originally Posted by Loki

The good thing about being a human, is that there are at least 3 billion other individuals on this planet that you can mate with (of opposite sex).

Good and nice friends are seldom , more seldom than water in a desert.