Love or Attachment

[The Blade]

Since you have created the thread, OP, you are apparently looking for an advice, so I'll give you one:
- Leave him. Everything you described is a textbook case of why some relationships don't last. No need to stay with him because of attachment/insecurity (that would be even worse). If a man doesn't influence you on both sexual and emotional level there's not much to say really. If he's clingy now wait for 2 more years to pass and you'll probably hardly stand him anymore (no woman likes that). Sounds like you are the one wearing the pants in the relationship which is never good for a woman.

[stellan]

Since you have created the thread, OP, you are apparently looking for an advice, so I'll give you one:
- Leave him. Everything you described is a textbook case of why some relationships don't last. No need to stay with him because of attachment/insecurity (that would be even worse). If a man doesn't influence you on both sexual and emotional level there's not much to say really. If he's clingy now wait for 2 more years to pass and you'll probably hardly stand him anymore (no woman likes that). Sounds like you are the one wearing the pants in the relationship which is never good for a woman.

thank you for the advice. i agree with everything you said, i just don't feel attracted to him anymore, i really liked him 2 years ago but i was younger and i didn't really know what i wanted back then (i still don't 100%) but i'm way more mature than him which bothers me and like i said, he's clingy and very submissive which i also don't like at all. i find that most guys my age are like this so for the past few months i've been really into guys who are a bit older than me (mid-late 20s)

[The Blade]

thank you for the advice. i agree with everything you said, i just don't feel attracted to him anymore, i really liked him 2 years ago but i was younger and i didn't really know what i wanted back then (i still don't 100%) but i'm way more mature than him which bothers me and like i said, he's clingy and very submissive which i also don't like at all. i find that most guys my age are like this so for the past few months i've been really into guys who are a bit older than me (mid-late 20s)

Submissiveness is also a bad thing. Sounds like he's pretty needy and immature.
You apparently need a change.

[zebruh]

Its because woman aren't attracted to being nice. They are attracted to somebody thats masculine. To woman saying you love them makes you less attracted to you. Woman are hypergamous and when guys worship woman. Become clingy ect, they see him as lesser value then her. Woman can never love a man thats lesser value then. They never love men for who they are. You have to be better than her by having status and more money and being top tier physically attractive. The only time a woman will ligitimately love you is if you were her son. Other wise you are just an asset to be exploited by woman.

You don't like him because he is nice to you
You feel like he is lesser than you
You think you can do better but hes all you have which is why you are still with him.
He is not your first pick
He provides comfort even if you don't like him. You need constant validation and attention

[stellan]

Its because woman aren't attracted to being nice. They are attracted to somebody thats masculine. To woman saying you love them makes you less attracted to you. Woman are hypergamous and when guys worship woman. Become clingy ect, they see him as lesser value then her. Woman can never love a man thats lesser value then. They never love men for who they are. You have to be better than her by having status and more money and being top tier physically attractive. The only time a woman will ligitimately love you is if you were her son. Other wise you are just an asset to be exploited by woman.

You don't like him because he is nice to you
You feel like he is lesser than you
You think you can do better but hes all you have which is why you are still with him.
He is not your first pick
He provides comfort even if you don't like him. You need constant validation and attention

i agree. i mean i used to like him a lot, it's not like i just settled for him or anything but i don't really use him for attention or validation, i usually like being alone and he's the type to get mad if i don't respond for a few hours even tho i've told him that i don't want to talk to him or anyone for a very long period of time, especially if we're not saying anything meaningful. i think he needs a girl who's equally as clingy as him and appreciates "nice guys".

[Mr.G]

In reaction to the comments about nice guys here..

I'm a nice guy, I always try to be polite, respectful, etc. But that's not the same thing as clingy, needy, insecure.

Imo Stellan your boyfriend seems to be clingy, needy, and insecure - not necessarily nice.

Doesn't mean he can't be a nice guy too, he could be I dunno, but all that needy behavior you are describing yeah that's a problem.

[stellan]

In reaction to the comments about nice guys here..

I'm a nice guy, I always try to be polite, respectful, etc. But that's not the same thing as clingy, needy, insecure.

Imo Stellan your boyfriend seems to be clingy, needy, and insecure - not necessarily nice.

Doesn't mean he can't be a nice guy too he could be I dunno, but all that needy behavior you are describing yeah, that's a problem.

haha that's what i meant by "nice guy" . there's definitely a difference between an actual nice guy and someone who thinks he's a nice guy; the latter is usually never good for a relationship

[zebruh]

i agree. i mean i used to like him a lot, it's not like i just settled for him or anything but i don't really use him for attention or validation, i usually like being alone and he's the type to get mad if i don't respond for a few hours even tho i've told him that i don't want to talk to him or anyone for a very long period of time, especially if we're not saying anything meaningful. i think he needs a girl who's equally as clingy as him and appreciates "nice guys".

You don't like him.
he's simping.

[zebruh]

haha that's what i meant by "nice guy" . there's definitely a difference between an actual nice guy and someone who thinks he's a nice guy; the latter is usually never good for a relationship

So why are you his girlfriend for 2 years?

[stellan]

So why are you his boyfriend for 2 years?

bc i initially did like/love him, it's only recently that i don't really love him anymore and i was waiting to see if things would get any better