Today is a sad day

**King Niko** · 10-21-2020, 02:45 AM

This is mostly a vent post dealing with the post strain of struggles. Not really looking for a reply but just a way to openly express personal pain. I am in my feels tonight and my mind is full of bright flames. Well I always ponder on how others continue through the pain they have faced. Wondering how and where the pain splits on a conscious level from me to them. I feel so de-sensitized from so many things I have been through and future endeavors, many rough times I have faced. Some people asked where I went for a long time and years from my parting from this forum. The simple case being I was in a lot of pain, it was a rebuilding time in my life. My biggest cause was the loss of 4 of my closest friends in a tragic accident back in 2018, the pain it caused will be ever lasting and I still miss some of my closest friends from it to this day. Many people left my life because of the doors I shut to my social world. Today marks a little bit after the incident but still hurts pretty hard. Also this same year in July two of my best friends died and were killed in a gun violence incident with someone they had problems with. Last year another one of my good friends was incarcerated for a long time. Life just sucks, all of the people who always had my back are gone. Sometimes I tell people I am 22 but I feel a lot that my pain is too excessive for this age. The idea of death is so de-sensitized for me it does not scare me nor even make me feel suffer. Just sucks, it is on a sad note but I know they are all in a better place I know. Just a sad, shitty day. Oh well another day there will always be somewhere in the void of this universe. Seemingly this is just an open rant for me to discuss freely and put how I am feeling out in the world for anybody who may stumble across this and understand my pain or suffering through much worse. Always know that my door is open to discuss anything or everything. There is more than likely nothing I have not yet experienced or thought about nor anything that will push me off or away. That is all I have to say for now.

(I post this here as a memory for me to look back, idc if someone replies or not. This forum is in a way anonymous posting and I do not have to worry about anybody in my personal life discovering it so sorry if this post does not tickle your fancy)

**~~EM78GREENSAVANNAH~~** · 10-21-2020, 03:03 AM

Did you buy the Lisa Ann flashlight yet?

**~~War Chef~~** · 10-21-2020, 03:05 AM

Lol sometimes I think King Niko can't be real because he's the stereotypical wigger but in a cool kind of way

**~~Trouble~~** · 10-21-2020, 03:06 AM

No offense but could you please not write everything in a goddamn giant block of text? No one is gonna read that.

**Mixdguy17** · 10-21-2020, 03:09 AM

Sorry about your friends man. I hope u feel better, nothing hurts more than losing the people u love the most.

Lot of love towards u man.

**Radimir** · 10-21-2020, 03:20 AM

My condolences and sympathy, man. I too sometimes think of death or rather it just comes to my mind at times and I try to think of something else, it's just something I don't wish to pander about. We all say they are in a better place but it doesn't change the fact that they are gone from our lives, never to be seen or interacted with ever again and that honestly haunts me so much, the idea of never seeing that person ever again. That's why I try to cherish the moments I have with close ones IRL as much as I can. Anyway, I can relate to what you're feeling.