relationship ptsd

[War Chef]

the bolded text reminds me of my conversations with my friend over the phone. he told me that it’s normal to hate my ex for stuff he did to me, but then to process it and let it go. that it was normal. it’s normal to feel pain and it’s normal to express disappointment.

i’m not used to doing either. i’m used to closing everything up. i think that’s why i’m at an overload currently. i wasn’t acknowledging a lot of my own feelings.

The best is to be "friends" with the ex and be like "hey, it didn't work out, but I don't hate you" if they're mentally mature enough to do that. If not, I guess all you can do is let them steam out the ears. I forgive everyone eventually. Anger is like a hot coal you want to throw at someone, but you just hold it in your hand - only person who gets burnt is you

[Mortimer]

I think it is very brave that you open about it. I think therapy could have helped yes. Maybe you still can get some therapy, therapy after such traumatic events is important.

[War Chef]

It's really crazy how 2 people can at one point in time love eachother so hard, and at another point hate eachothers guts and wish bad things onto eachother.
It's why the concept of "love" is such a joke.
I chose to live life as a hermit.

[Harley]

The best is to be "friends" with the ex and be like "hey, it didn't work out, but I don't hate you" if they're mentally mature enough to do that. If not, I guess all you can do is let them steam out the ears. I forgive everyone eventually. Anger is like a hot coal you want to throw at someone, but you just hold it in your hand - only person who gets burnt is you

i’m at that point currently. i don’t hate him as much as i did a couple weeks ago. sometimes when i hear him talk or read his texts, i remember why i decided to end it and why i’m glad it’s over. i feel bitter about his willingness to waste my time. i do tell myself there’s no point in doing this to myself, as the root problem was seeking out a partner that satisfied insecurities, instead of choosing someone that suited the life i wanted for myself.

[War Chef]

^My advice (if I'm qualified to give any).
I do stock trading, and one thing it taught me is:
NEVER TRADE ON EMOTIONS, or you'll lose money.
I feel this can extend to so many things in life.
Emotions are misleading & often wrong, it's important not to be too much in your feelings
Logic and reasoning trump emotions....
You gotta move on.... it's all in your head

[Harley]

It's really crazy how 2 people can at one point in time love eachother so hard, and at another point hate eachothers guts and wish bad things onto eachother.
It's why the concept of "love" is such a joke.
I chose to live life as a hermit.

i’m the cynical one in mine and abo’s relationship. i usually tell him to tell me how he feels after two years, when he’s stopped being high from “love” and sees the real me.

the romantic side of me hopes he sees the real side of me, and decides to stay.

[Celestia]

It's really crazy how 2 people can at one point in time love eachother so hard, and at another point hate eachothers guts and wish bad things onto eachother.
It's why the concept of "love" is such a joke.
I chose to live life as a hermit.

There’s a fine line between love and hate. You won’t feel that kind of passion with someone you’re indifferent to.

[Mr.G]

Such good and interesting thoughts and advice throughout this thread - I can't even think of anything additional to offer.

I can only say I am rooting for you metal, I have a feeling you have turned a corner and things will be better for you in the future. One thing I have learned about you is that you are a keen observer, with high emotional intelligence, and I think you will find a way to a happier and also to have a more peaceful existence.

[catgeorge]

Sounds suss - and love is as real as it gets and it's everywhere.
As for Mortimer - well he has psycho issues and on medication why even bother chin wagging with him.

[Alenka]

Hey Harley. *hugs*
I dabble in vedic astrology as a hobby.
Although I still have a lot to learn, I'd be curious in taking a look at your natal chart, if you're interested.
Astrology can be helpful and beneficial, I find, both from a practical as well as a spiritual perspective.
If you're interested, just slide into my inbox with your place & time of birth.
I'll let you know what I see in your chart.
& You let me know if anything is spot on.