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Got confronted by a bully
Its a long story BUT TRUST me its worth to read
It's good to assert yourself to bullies... but it takes a lot of confidence to talk back to people... it's something I struggle to do. My voice is too quiet to be able to shout and I don't like confrontations.
I was walking 3 cute little dogs the other week when the weather was very sunny, and I let them run around freely in a large field in the park where lots of people let their dogs run and exercise.
One of the dogs was chasing a ball and some Islamic children started screaming (as usual) and they ran away from the cute and gentle dog in an irrational panic.
Then the dog ran over to where a black female was having a picnic with her young child (who looked about 18 months.) She could've chosen the separate enclosed picnic area to have her picnic, the quiet rose gardens (where no dogs are allowed,) and several other large places within the park where dogs aren't permitted.
But no - she chose to have her picnic in the dog exercise field instead.... like a lot of foreign people and their kids do here (especially during the school holidays and in the summer when there's hundreds of kids in the parks,) and then their Arab parents frequently shout and complain about the dogs.
Then she started tutting and complaining as I tried to call the little dog back... but it was more interested in trying to eat the food she had for her picnic. She was not a happy bunny. Every time I tried to call the dog back, he wanted to run around and play.
I quietly apologised to her and tried to catch the dog, but he kept running around and then running back to her picnic. I quietly apologised.
She threatened me 'If that dog comes near me again - I will kick it. You need to buy a leash.' I thought 'how cheeky,' but didn't say anything as I prefer to avoid getting into altercations with people. I felt panicky as I couldn't catch the dog or get him to come back when calling him (I'm not his owner,) and she was threatening that she was going to kick him. He's very small, friendly, gentle... and playful.
So I took one of the numerous expensive leashes out of my bag and dangled it about, (just to show that cheeky woman who said to me that I need to purchase a dog leash - that I have leashes in my bag.) I turned my back to her as she muttered things to me under her breath... and tried to entice the dog back. A nice elderly English female approached when she saw the problem I was having and the way the black female was being hostile towards me... and the English lady helped me to get the dog to return. Then I put him on his leash and we left the park.
I walked away and thought it was unfair that dogs can't exercise when people and kids try to take over the dog exercise areas... even though they have plenty of dog-free places to choose from in the large park to eat their picnics, play sports, etc.
Another older English female who frequently walks her own dogs in the park became upset with an older white English man after he told her she had no right to sit outside the park cafe with her dog. She was so outraged with what he said to her and she yelled at him for about 10 minutes.
She called the park security and a black security man arrived and had a quiet word with him... but he didn't say much to the white man before walking off... so she asserted herself to the white man by giving him a piece of her mind. She shouted at him that he can't tell her that her dogs have no right to sit there. He soon walked off with is head down when he realised he was in the wrong... and she wouldn't stop shouting at him as he walked away as she was very upset.
She asked me to watch her dogs for her in the outside dog area of the cafe, whilst she went somewhere in the park to complain about the man telling her she had no right to sit there with her dogs.
When she calmed down, she sat down and quietly told me that she's been to this place for years, and she always likes to quietly sit there with her dogs like many other dog owners do. She said he was one of those new visitors to the park. He wasn't a regular or a local and he wasn't familiar with the places where dogs frequently sit each day. I just quietly nodded in agreement. Her dogs are nice and they weren't troubling anyone. He was just a grumpy whinger... but he regretted it when she stood up to him.... lol.
Whenever people shout at me, I just say nothing and quietly move away. It takes two people to have an argument - a person can't argue by themself... so by saying nothing back, or just quietly apologising and leaving... they usually stop shouting.
When I told my very courteous, friendly, and nice manager about the incident of the female threatening to kick the cute little dog I was walking when it ran near her picnic... I was stunned when he said, 'Please do me a favour next time;- tell her to go and stuff herself - and that if she kicks the dog - then tell her that you will kick her back! Or report her to the RSPCA.' He said I was in my rights to let the dog run freely in the dog exercise area and she was in the wrong for having her picnic with her baby where lots of dogs are running around and playing.
I'm hopeless at asserting myself to people and I've encountered some difficult people who have been hostile towards me over the many different dogs I've walked, (especially Arab and Middle Eastern people - who generally have an irrational phobia of dogs,) and I also encounter some maniac speeding drivers on the numerous roads I have to cross each day.
I've also met some very nice and friendly black people (males and females) who've happily stroked the dogs, or who frequently walk their own dogs in the park.
I was shouted at by a white tramp once who sleeps day and night under some scaffolding on a narrow pavement. I was walking the dog of a famous TV doctor and the president of an international medical organisation... and he's a lovely and nice man and his dog is very affectionate towards me, but he's so confrontational and quick to snap and defensively bark at other people walking past in the street - especially if they stare at him. I feel embarassed walking that dog sometimes, and have requested recently not to walk him as he can be aggressive towards people.
I didn't see her laying under the blankets when I walked past her with 3 dogs... and the doctor's dog sniffed the blankets and she jumped up in shock... and then the dog started barking at her - because she startled the dog. She yelled abuse at me in the street: 'Get that f*ckin' dog away from me - you stupid ***!' (Charming woman! ) Lots of people were staring and I just calmly pulled the dog back and thought 'how rude.' I didn't say anything back to her, and quickly and quietly walked past the crazy tramp whilst she was shouting abuse at me, and I tried to calm the dog down as he was frantically barking at her as he could sense she was hostile. I walked him back to the doctor's house and fed him and locked-up the front door, but I was still feeling shaken and upset from the tramp shouting abuse at me.
I always walk on the other side of the pavement now to avoid walking past her as she makes me feel nervous. I've seen her shouting abuse at other people too who've walked past her. My manager said she's crazy. He said he felt sorry for her one cold night when it was snowing, and went outside to try to give her some money... but she refused to take it. She never begs, she doesn't drink or smoke or take drugs... she just constantly sleeps on the street. She's elderly, white, English... and I think she's mentally sick. Sometimes I feel sad and sorry for her though, as I think she may have had a difficult life. She won't accept help from anyone and she's been sleeping rough there in the same spot day and night for several months.
I've encountered pleasant people and also some horrible people from all races.
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Originally Posted by stellan
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