your cultural view of family

[Barreldriver]

A clone of sorts of an ABF thread discussing how Americans these days tend to move out of their family home after 18, the poster at ABF was curious why this was and how it compares to other parts of the world. I myself am curious to hear from ya'll on the subject of having generations of family living in the same home and what is your cultural motivation behind your answer.

This was my answer at ABF:

For centuries you'd find not just two or three generations of a lineage living together but also certain trusted cousins of collateral relation. Now this is not to say that we just freeloaded off of each other, while living together we'd cooperate to get things done around the property whether it be tilling, planting, maintenance, we'd also have our own jobs to boot along with the family construction crew unless call for labor's on a lull.

Things were more simple in TN when we had a family farm (I never got to see because the tragedy happened before my birth), but after the fire the tragedy struck deep so we've been landless for a while with the exception of grandfather's property in Ohio (he abandoned pursuing home in TN, my father also abandoned TN in 2001). When I was still in TN I spent just as much of my time with cousins or with families that knew my family as I did at the rental.

Given the ties of kin I find a conflict with returning to TN our home and where our generations are buried because my grandparents and parents have abandoned TN and are all up here so if I return I'd only be around cousins and such.

[Svipdag]

As the product of a [highly] dysfunctional family, I tend to take rather jaundiced view of the institution. In fact, I once defined a family as " a group
of people who have nothing in common except consanguinity."

As a generalisation,, it was probably much too broad, but, at least, it was an accurate statement about my family.



"Each new generation is a fresh invasion of savages." - Ernest Fremont Tittle

[Logan]

A clone of sorts of an ABF thread discussing how Americans these days tend to move out of their family home after 18, the poster at ABF was curious why this was and how it compares to other parts of the world. I myself am curious to hear from ya'll on the subject of having generations of family living in the same home and what is your cultural motivation behind your answer.

This was my answer at ABF:

For centuries you'd find not just two or three generations of a lineage living together but also certain trusted cousins of collateral relation. Now this is not to say that we just freeloaded off of each other, while living together we'd cooperate to get things done around the property whether it be tilling, planting, maintenance, we'd also have our own jobs to boot along with the family construction crew unless call for labor's on a lull.

Things were more simple in TN when we had a family farm (I never got to see because the tragedy happened before my birth), but after the fire the tragedy struck deep so we've been landless for a while with the exception of grandfather's property in Ohio (he abandoned pursuing home in TN, my father also abandoned TN in 2001). When I was still in TN I spent just as much of my time with cousins or with families that knew my family as I did at the rental.

Given the ties of kin I find a conflict with returning to TN our home and where our generations are buried because my grandparents and parents have abandoned TN and are all up here so if I return I'd only be around cousins and such.

Nice reply Barreldriver. With time comes unavoidable changes. Whilst growing up, I spent quite a bit of time at a grandmother's. All a memory now. She always thought that family was very important. She was not wrong. People are more important than a place.

[_______]

family = important, but rather difficult

[Barreldriver]

Nice reply Barreldriver. With time comes unavoidable changes. Whilst growing up, I spent quite a bit of time at a grandmother's. All a memory now. She always thought that family was very important. She was not wrong. People are more important than a place.

On that note I agree however it is also fresh in my mind and in the minds of family that we are still foreign to Ohio in a sense and that TN is our true home, the reason for grandfather and his siblings staying up here was I think strongly linked to the death of their brother in the fire in TN, my father stays up in Ohio now because TN I'm sure brings back memories of divorce and like me he feels a duty to the still living member of our direct lineage, for me TN is still home despite certain drama but as long as gramps and father are still alive I feel it a responsible thing to do to stay here as long as need be but the longing for Overton County will never fade and at the very least I want to be buried in our cemetery, and if I were to return the majority of my cousins are still in TN.

Familial duty is life for not just us but all traditionally minded folk of the Southern Appalachians, very different from what I am seeing among my friends and acquaintances.

[_______]

grandparents are the best!

[Logan]

Beautiful country. I've been to the Eastern part a few times.

[Barreldriver]

Beautiful country. I've been to the Eastern part a few times.

Always loved goin' back home to the suspendy bridge and rock it, if ever in East TN I suggest going nearby over the border to Georgia to Lookout Mountain.

[Birka]

I have hiked the Appalachian Trail on the Kentucky, NC, Tenn. border (about 35 years ago). Breathtaking country.

[ikki]

family is an investment. If you dont care about it, then it will rot apart and become a deadweight or eve a liability.
If otoh willing to invest time, effort and love (as opposed to money, screw getting a new ps4, go instead and look at the stars lying on the back a summer night on a hill while chatting about life in general)

Kids will need to be brought into the family twice. First as lil kids, then again as teenagers. All too many dont realize that the second raising will be needed and its ignored with terrible consequences.

Shared meals are important, but hardly enough. Kids can help prepare foods, dont let them just sit somewhere playing and come to a ready table. Then they miss out on the whole bonding ritual of food.

And no such thing as being boring. that just means a bad/weak connection that will need work.