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6
Too much pressure
I can't stand this anymore. The lying, the accusations, the nightmares ... the truth needs to be unveiled.
Many of you might have already guessed it: I'm not the person I pretended to be.
For all my life, I wanted to be someone I wasn't. I wanted to be noticed, I wanted to be loved.
It all started in elementary, back when I was still a child. I was a curious and healthy young boy, ready to explore the world around me. I had a few friends, considered girls to be yucky, and my favourite activity was playing on the playground, especially at school.
One day, on a day like any other, I got into an argument with my friends. We played hide and seek, and I was the seeker. I closed my eyes, counted to 10, and then started looking for my friends. I found them all in record time, beating their previous times by a long shot.
Long story short, they accused me of cheating. I really just have talented ears and can hear about anything within a radius of 20 meters or so, but they did not believe me. They called me a liar, a fraud, and worst of all: A nigger.
First it was just Colin who called me that vile and evil word, then James, then Kevin, then all of them. It was the first time I experienced systemic racism, and it scarred me for my whole life.
In unison they chanted: "Nigger, nigger, Nelson is a nigger!" ... it stuck with me till this day.
I was one of the only Black children growing up in an all-White neighbourhood, and till that day I never cared about my skin color. It all happened so fast.
Worst of all, they were blonde and blue-eyed "Chads", having success with the girls later on in life, while I was left alone and considered a subhuman.
I just wanted to be different. I wanted to be tall, but I stopped growing at 5'6", while Colin, Kevin and James were all well above 6 feet.
I wanted to have lovely, dreamy blue eyes, but I'm stuck with shit brown. I wanted to be White, but my skin stayed the way it is.
I wanted to be blonde and even dyed my hair blonde twice, but people just looked at me funny and once a beautiful blonde girl I had a crush on told me that my new haircut sucks, so I gave up on that.
Introverted as I am, I retreated into the privacy of my room, playing World Of Warcraft and browsing the internet for interracial cuck porn. I especially liked the BBC stuff because it made me feel more powerful and desired.
In World Of Warcraft I always either played the Blood Elves or the Humans, both are tall, blonde and muscular, just like I've always wanted to be.
A few months later I met a girl in WoW and we started chatting. I told her that I was a big, tall, blonde and beautiful guy and she seemed to believe me. She started sending me pictures of herself, and eventually we even married (in-game, of course) ...
From thereon out I noticed how easy it was to deceive people into believing you are someone who you actually aren't, and how great it felt receiving all these compliments. I sent her fake pictures of "myself", and she was head over heels for "me" ...
Fast forward a few years: I found this forum and immediately created an account. The rest of the story you already know.
Now you might ask "what about your DNA-test results?"
I took them from the internet. I'm not actually Greek or German or Dutch or anything. I'm basically 80% African and 20% White. I don't even know exactly because I never actually did a DNA-test.
"What about the people you posted? What about your great-grandfather and great-grandmother etc. etc.?" Fake. All of them. I specifically asked a German friend to help me with these pictures. They are his relatives, not mine. Some are also from the internet, the same goes for the pictures of "me" as a child that I posted earlier this month.
So there it is. The truth has been unveiled. Laugh all you want, I'm used to it anyways ...
This will probably be my last post. I enjoyed my time here and actually kind of liked many of you, but you leave me no choice. Your constant bullying has forced me to take action. Goodbye.
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Originally Posted by Benyzero
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