Keeping up a friendship

[Duffmannn]

I have lived in so many countries, worked and studied in so many places, known so much people, that I just keep in touch with my childhood friends from my village, and just a handful friends from the university (basically my ex-flatmates). It would be a little exhausting to keep in touch with so many people, anyways not so much people contacts with me, and when older you become, you tend to value less the superficial relationships instead the quality-relationships.

[Ruggery]

For now I have been alone, due to the pandemic I have barely interacted with my friends, some of whom I have not spoken for more than 1 year and with others but little.

[calxpal]

I'm only going to talk about real-life friendships I've had/have, but in recent years I have become way less involved with friends IRL just because around the time when I did try to get more involved with them again a few years ago, it didn't go anywhere and a bunch of them ended up ghosting me, it was hard and painful because I became quite close to some of them. I felt like the effort wasn't worth the pain, and I decided I needed a break for a bit. Although for a while, I kept those bonds strong though and it was very rewarding, I had many amazing times with my old friends, and I did a lot for them. but eventually, it seems like they found other friends they liked more than me, and that was evident from their social media profiles and how they talked to me. I guess I'm ok at keeping up friendships. In order to maintain a friendship, I try/would try and keep regular meaningful contact, make plans once in a while, and try to help them out and cheer them up however possible .

I will say, I have met one girl IRL recently I consider a friend I guess =). In the past, I almost never got irritated by my friends unless if they lied to me, made a rude comment, or canceled last minute lolol.

I sometimes wonder though if something about me or my behavior was off-putting to my friends in the past, but I shouldn't dwell on the possibility =) I should move on and look for cool new friends

[stellan]

i only have two friends, but i'm fine with that because having lots of friends leads to drama and you don't really know their true intentions. my friends are always there for me and care about me, and the same goes for them, which is much better than having tons of friends for "popularity". my friends and i never fight either.

[Kivan]

Most people do not have real friends but superficial acquaintances based on exchanges of drinks or dinners etc...

Real friendships are formed during things like political activism or military combat etc...

Two persons with different political views can be real friends.
Even i already saw people who are leftist and far-right and are married.

Enjoying life with others is more than just material stuff or opinions about politics.

[Parça do Neymar]

Two persons with different political views can be real friends.
Even i already saw people who are leftist and far-right and are married.

Enjoying life with others is more than just material stuff or opinions about politics.

You're a brazilian citizen, isn't that right? While in principle I agree with you, the political climate has become unbearable in this God-forsaken country.

I'm a very tolerant person, I have no problems to accept a very diverse array of thoughts, but I can only take getting called an "isentão" or "fascista" (because I don't support candidate "x" or "y") so much.

[JamesBond007]

Two persons with different political views can be real friends.
Even i already saw people who are leftist and far-right and are married.

Enjoying life with others is more than just material stuff or opinions about politics.

When he is young, a man of noble character fancies that the relations prevailing amongst mankind, and the alliances to which these relations lead, are at bottom and essentially, ideal in their nature; that is to say, that they rest upon similarity of disposition or sentiment, or taste, or intellectual power, and so on.

But, later on, he finds out that it is a real foundation which underlies these alliances; that they are based upon some material interest. This is the true foundation of almost all alliances: nay, most men have no notion of an alliance resting upon any other basis ...--Arthur Schopenhauer

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/10715...-h/10715-h.htm

[Senpai]

Unfortunately I don't have much in common with my friends anymore. None of them really seem to care much. I need new ones. It's crazy because when I was younger (16-21), I thought these people would be there forever. Cliche, I know. I need new ones.

[Mejgusu]

...

I think if you have a lot of friends it is hard to keep the friendship alive to all. On the other hand, if you have not many friends, there is always a risk that you could be alone one day. Generally i know a lot of people but i have just few very good friends where i cherish our friendship. Everyone must find his or her personal way regarding social life, some can’t handle with a lot of friends some are not happy with few friends. And generally some dispute is ok among every kind of relationship, that is healthy, unless it doesn’t happens permanently. I never dispute with males, even we are arguing it isn’t serious. I had (and still have) some female friends and i know it sounds very conservative but if they have a boyfriend i stopp talking with them(i mean i still talk with them if they greet but not privately, also i don’t hang up with them then). For me it feels wrong having a friendship to the other gender although she is in a relationship. If men don’t get bitchy girlfriends/wife i don’t see any problems to keep the friendship alive. Also you always must consider what they would do for you, if i know my friend would lend me money i would do the same thing for example. In my case culture is also very important, i have a lot of German friends but only foreigners would understand my troubles, i don’t want to say that non-Germans are better friends but i think they show more understanding(but there are also a lot of nice Germans but also a lot of bad Turks) But tbh, i never thought about your questions, maybe i am still too young for having enough experience to give a wise advice, maybe i have not a situation which could make me think about those questions.

[Benyzero]

They come they go,I don't really have attatchment to people and I think they can feel it. A few old close ones are always in the picture even if just online, I keep the contact with them.