just unlucky...

[Luso]

I cannot take this anymore. I can’t focus. I can’t feel happiness. Everyone lies, everyone laughs, everyone ignores. To be around me is to feel joy… only that I am the unattractive one in the group, the one that has 0 chance, but at least I can show up and be invisible right? Because that is what I am, I am invisible, everyone looks through me. It isn’t an issue of not attracting women, as that was inevitable with this face, but an issue of being so subhuman looking that guy’s first impression of me is already on the bottom. I am short… whilst having a long face, with a long mid-face, these small shit lips, a big nose that compliments absolutely no features, and shitty big eyes. I coped myself in thinking I had nice hunter eyes, but I literally squinted so hard. I have this narrow face that you look at and want to throw up at how beta it looks. Fucksacks, almost 21 years and it’s already over, I can’t go through this pain anymore, it is too much. It isn’t anyone’s fault but my own for going on for this long. I thought maybe past 14,15,16,17,18 I would hit a period of some sort of change. I started working out… but that won’t change my shitty proportions. I was born into a life that wasn’t meant to be. The reality was that I wasn’t supposed to be a thing anyway I was a mistake that just happened. And with that mistake came the unfortunate combination of the worst genetics possible that has created me. I always wondered why I was never accepted by people, and why I was always in some way left out… I was given the cope that I was handsome even at my ugliest. I hoped that from there I would improve. I am still a hopeless virgin, and that shouldn’t be surprising to anyone that understands and lives in reality. When I look at my face it is just like a horse. The bigonial width of my face is non-existent, my mandible is short and stubby and doesn’t project, my eyebrows are uneven and too high above my eyes, my lip as I’ve said again is too fucking small, it looks like shit. I don’t look beta in the sense of that I look like a woman, but instead that I give absolutely no masculine energy. And this is solely on my physicality. The biggest cope someone can give me is that the world is more than its material state. My answer to that is- then let my soul leave my body because I don’t want to live in this fucking body, I don’t want this face, I don’t want to be subjected to an inferior life. I don’t know where I got this unlucky… my parents are good looking, my brother and sister are as well. They’ve never opened up to me about how they’ve lived life as good-looking people, but that is exactly why. Because they wouldn’t understand the pain of being ugly… they love to ignore the reality which is that I am… but I’m sure in their heads they accept the truth, just not out loud. If I were to be rebirthed I would have loved to at the very least have objectively handsome proportions on my face. Life may have been worth it then. But I was instead “blessed” with a narrow, long face, a long skinny neck, shitty muscle insertions, and a ectomorph body with a short frame. If god is real then it is truly mercisless. I don’t know if I did something so wrong, or evil that I deserved this… but I know I can’t let it take over my soul, and mind. I’d rather kill my body and let what is really me survive and be at peace. If there is nonexistence then I’d rather have that then be forever lonely and criticized for something I had no control over. I am staring at myself on my FaceTime on my laptop… no motivation to do my work due tomorrow because I see no point of work when the problem is far greater and routed to the superficial world. I see that people who believe they are ugly often are really not, they don’t understand, they have at least one good feature AT LEAST— but I have none and it’s beyond evident. All around me everyone is normal… at the very least… and then many are good looking, given a great combination of genetics. But I hate myself for not having that chance, and I probably deserve it considering I shouldn’t have happened in the first place. I want to cut myself… I have tried to cut my mouth and I fucking fail, I cannot seem to get anywhere… so I want to resort to getting drunk and going from there. I might post this on forum just to let someone know… but this will probably be it for me. If you thought I was attractive... I heavily fraud pictures with facetune and such, I was never good looking if you saw my face proportions it was evident as is. It has nothing to do with my skin color, ethnicity, anything. There are many hot men, and women with my skin tone and height... I legitimately have shitty combination of physical genetic features and this was my legacy. I see no positive reason to be alive when I am forever unlovable inside this cursed physical form.

[hmaohma78]

It worries me to think of you feeling so bad about yourself, Luso. It must be diffcult going through this loneliness and feeling deprived of joy.

[Ayetooey]

You need god brother. Begin reading the bible and praying.

[stellan]

You seem to be perfectly healthy, you have a loving family and friends and are privileged enough to have a computer and phone to write this on. I suggest you take a look at St. Jude's website, which shows innocent children that are battling terminal cancers. Believe me, many people have it far worse than you think you do.

[Ylla]

But you're only 20, a baby basically, your looks will only come out properly in your late 20s and 30s. Hubby and I came across pictures of us at 20 and we were laughing at how different and unflattering we looked back then.

[Charlemagne7]

I doubt it's because of your looks man, it's probably because of your personality. I bet you're a shy guy, so maybe trying to be more outgoing would help. I know plenty of men uglier than you who've managed to pick up pretty girls thanks to their personality.

[Benyzero]

I think you need some help at this point.

[Ion Basescul]

Wtf mate, just move back to Portugal if US has such an effect on your mental well-being.

[Harley]

When I was your age, I told myself I accept being ugly af, and decided to develop my personality to make myself an interesting person to talk to. I may not be the prettiest girl in the room, but I guarantee I will be memorable in my own way.

I’m sorry to hear that you feel this way about yourself. I think developing your personality as well as developing your character through other efforts like volunteering, participating in hobbies and/or sports will help you out. We as individuals are more than our looks. Have faith that you are more than just a face and keep moving forward.

[TheMaestro]

I doubt it's because of your looks man, it's probably because of your personality. I bet you're a shy guy, so maybe trying to be more outgoing would help. I know plenty of men uglier than you who've managed to pick up pretty girls thanks to their personality.

As wierd as it looks I agree with this person who happens to have almost identical nickname like me. I think I've seen one of your photos and you're normal to good looking. So this probably has to do with your personality, are you very shy or do you have beta-ish behaviour? It's a huge turn of for women..