I believe in traditional gender roles. (People look at me like I’m an alien when I tell them this)

[Ranger0075]

Honestly mate, I don't care. I've had my own trials in life and got through them by myself. That's that. End of conversation.

No problem, mate. I wish all the best for you and your family

[Insuperable]

Wtf is it with simpleton retards on this site. In the old times people were mostly dependent on themselves. They had cows, sheeps, chicken, produced their own meat, milk, eggs, their own vegetables. Multiplied it without much cost. They basically produced their own food. Now you depend on shopping malls. Now you have to buy food there. While such life you describe sure is bitchin, nowaydays it may not be enough if you want to properly feed your children and yourselves and have money to enjoy other aspects of life.

Of course if you are willing to move out of New York or where ever you live and move to some Central Asian village, raise cattle and grow vegetables with your husband kudos to you. If not then shut the fuck up. Perhaps you want a husband who is CEO of some company while you spend time in a swimming pool back at your villa.

[Annie999]

Women should do whatever they want with their lives (just like men), so if you want to be a house wife good for you! Go for it.

Im a housewife too, by choice of course. I decided to do it until my kids are older, then Ill continue with my profession which makes me happy and completes me.

[Loki]

So you don't want to work at all? It comes across as entitled in modern society. We all have to contribute to the workforce so if you want to find a man to finance that lifestyle for you it may be difficult.

Well, to be a housewife and a mother is a full time job. And it's an honourable and respectable "job", no matter what year it is.

Yes I know not everyone can afford such a life these days, surviving financially on the husband's income alone. Yet, people want to convince themselves that modern living standards are better than those of our parents... it is not! At least not in the West. Only poor third world countries and Asia are more prosperous today than in the past, and people who have ancestry from there living in the West now, are obviously better off.

[Ylla]

Well, to be a housewife and a mother is a full time job. And it's an honourable and respectable "job", no matter what year it is.

Yes I know not everyone can afford such a life these days, surviving financially on the husband's income alone. Yet, people want to convince themselves that modern living standards are better than those of our parents... it is not! At least not in the West. Only poor third world countries and Asia are more prosperous today than in the past, and people who have ancestry from there living in the West now, are obviously better off.

I agree it is 100%. It's the hardest job. But only when kids are young, after that you can start working, we do need our doctors, nurses, teacher in society.

[SouthDutch7991]

I'd say it's bizarre that we live in a world where most people don't plan, primarily, on having children. I can't really fathom it, surely we're still the same simple animals under all this clutter. Is that such a bad thing? Where would we be without people having kids?

Edit: As a born and raised Catholic, I find it pretty funny to read some of these responses. Whatever she was I don't think my mother was ever bored!

[Loki]

I agree it is 100%. It's the hardest job. But only when kids are young, after that you can start working, we do need our doctors, nurses, teacher in society.

Yes, very good point.

[Loki]

I'd say it's bizarre that we live in a world where most people don't plan, primarily, on having children. I can't really fathom it, surely we're still the same simple animals under all this clutter. Is that such a bad thing? Where would we be without people having kids?

It's the fault of our corrupt media and lame, irresponsible governments who no longer educate people from a young age to prepare for parenthood, and presenting it as optional rather than the norm. I think the biggest influencer, though, is that people have lost their Christian religion and no longer attend church as in the past. Much culture and family values and education has been lost through that... and empty secular alternatives offered that bring no long term joy and fulfillment.

[Ylla]

Yes, very good point.

It's a full time job definitely. Full day shift and have to be vigilant and on call all night, basically 24 hour job and unable to take sick days. If you're sick, you just have to get on with it. With older kids, women have more free time as kids are at school and can fend for themselves. It's also not healthy to have your parents stay at home all the time. Kids need to be independent early on rather than coddled and have things done for them at home.
But I also don't agree with women returning back to work after only 6 months maternity leave that's when children need their mums the most. I count my blessings that I'm able to be a full time mum while they're young but I don't know what alternative to suggest because most have no choice but to return to work.
Ultimately, it's every couples decision and what works for them if op wants to be a housewife only, then fine but she needs to realise it's possible to do both and the financial strain it may cause her partner to support her. It's a privilege, not an entitled right. Hope that makes sense.

[Longbowman]

A little background about me:

I am a 27 year old muslimah American lady. I grew up in a pretty traditional household. My dad did all the money earning while my mom did all house chores. They both seemed happy with this.

I feel like these days, when I tell people that I do not plan on working after getting married, they look at me as if I’m an alien. Even the dating life has been difficult. I’ve tried online dating and typically, the first questions men ask are like

“what do you do”?
“Where do you see yourself professionally in 5 years”
“What do you have your degree in”

When I tell them I would like to be a housewife after getting married they just block me. I don’t understand how things can change so much in just one generation. And yes, I am talking about Muslim American men. Even though typically their moms are housewives themselves, they say they want a professional woman. Some even say that they want to split everything 50/50 after getting married. In my religion (Islam), it is a sin for a man to force his wife to enter the workforce to earn money. As this is his responsibility. I feel like men are not men these days. It’s very strange because the burden for providing money has been a responsibility of men for thousands of years. It’s amazing how things have changed so drastically within a couple of decades.


Is it really a bad thing that I believe in traditional gender roles??


**** PLEASE NO RUDE FEMINIST RESPONSES

Two main points:

1) You should try to do whatever you want to do, as long as you are able to do it, including being a housewife.
2) However, no man (or woman) is obligated to personally support your goals, and realistically, in America, in 2021, it's not going to happen for you.

Realistically you simply cannot expect a man to provide for you like that - that was briefly commonplace for the rapidly expanding middle class between 1950 and 1980 but it is financially almost impossible nowadays except for the very wealthy. You are essentially asking a man to resign himself to poverty on a one-income family - or, you're demanding a very rich man who wants a trophy wife. Are you high-tier enough to secure a man of that status? Be honest with yourself.

Historically, in the West, women worked - not the same jobs as men, but they worked. Peasant women worked in the fields and other women worked too, even from their homes, providing material value to the family. Yes, yes, I know, the reactionary 'tradright' thinks the first time a woman ever had a job was 1963 but it's a complete lie. Indeed, factory jobs (from the 1700s) were originally reserved for women and children before men replaced them in the mid 1800s. Of course, yes, upper-middle-class women didn't work as a sort of status symbol, but most women were not upper-middle-class. Don't confuse the ideal for the reality. It's not economically prudent to expect 50% of the workforce to simply not work; that privilege is reserved for the highest-status women. Are you that high status? Again, be honest with yourself.

Besides, you are in a Western country. You benefit from a variety of freedoms not usually available to women in majority-Muslim countries in the third world. You don't seem to upset about those differences, but you are upset about the corollary, which is you have to work for it. If you want to improve your chances of being a housewife, go home to the Middle East.

From a personal perspective, my ideal woman would early millions of pounds a year. If I had to choose between two women of the same qualities except one earnt millions of pounds a year and the other wanted to be a housewife, I wouldn't even consider the housewife. What does that earn me? Nothing. Now, my mother took 8 years off work for child-rearing, and my girlfriend has stated her desire to do the same. It's not my ideal but I support it. However, overall, these women are high-earners who contribute hugely to the household financially. Why would I ever choose a woman who chooses not to do that? Honestly, once the children are in school they do not need a full-time carer. What will you do for all those hours every day, once the laundry is done (and we have washing machines for that now - it's not like it takes hours like it did in the 50s)? Masturbate? Gamble? Watch TV? Why would anyone want to pay for that when so many women offer so much more?

You have to be spectacular in every other respect to attain that position, now, or, you have to live in a very traditional community. Do you? Doesn't seem like it. You want to have your cake and eat it.

Everyone else is just saying 'you go, girl' so I thought I'd serve you up a slice of reality pie.

Best of luck, sincerely.