The great love of your/ones life?

[Ylla]

Sure, I can agree with that. But the over-romanticized look on “love” by Hollywood has created an ideal fantasy that isn’t attainable.
Often times love is ugly and hard work. I believe it’s a choice more so than a feeling. Love is choosing to be with someone despite their flaws and shortcomings and choosing to remain faithful and committed even when things are ugly. Not this “soulmate” bs that is embedded in our minds.

I think a lot of times relationships fail because people expect the honeymoon phase to be a constant reality.

It depends on what is meant by soulmate, I don't believe in that 'destined in the stars' bs, but there are people out there that are very compatible for us, It could even be multiple people, realistically speaking. Whether we find that person in our lifetime is a different question. I think the more unique you are, the harder it is to find that.
I agree that it takes a lot of hard work on both sides to get it to a compatible level, but once it's achieved its very real. It's not love at first sight and weird stuff like that though.

[Celestia]

It depends on what is meant by soulmate, I don't believe in that 'destined in the stars' bs, but there are people out there that are very compatible for us, It could even be multiple people, realistically speaking. Whether we find that person in our lifetime is a different question. I think the more unique you are, the harder it is to find that.
I agree that it takes a lot of hard work on both sides to get it to a compatible level, but once it's achieved its very real. It's not love at first sight and weird stuff like that though.

I believe in compatibility, but I believe you need more than compatibility to ensure a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

My theory is that most people have an idealized version of love and base it completely on feelings, where as those intense emotions fade and love is the choice you make to continue to remain committed and faithful. Finding someone with that same mindset is harder than it should be these days imo.

[Incal]

Sure, I can agree with that. But the over-romanticized look on “love” by Hollywood has created an ideal fantasy that isn’t attainable.
Often times love is ugly and hard work. I believe it’s a choice more so than a feeling. Love is choosing to be with someone despite their flaws and shortcomings and choosing to remain faithful and committed even when things are ugly. Not this “soulmate” bs that is embedded in our minds.

I think a lot of times relationships fail because people expect the honeymoon phase to be a constant reality.

That's the case with most peruvian women. That's why their whole life is a lie.

I remember once this girl I used to work with, told me how his ideal man should be. When she finished another coworker who's gay said: "You have just described a homo" lol

[gixajo]

Anyway, we need ideals to move forward with some hope.

Believing that we will be able to fly, even though we know deep down that it is only a temporary illusion that can end with a hard blow against the ground, has its value.

Dreams and hopes are refuges that help us rest from the routine, selfishness and self-interest that we are surrounded by on all sides.

[Ylla]

I believe in compatibility, but I believe you need more than compatibility to ensure a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

My theory is that most people have an idealized version of love and base it completely on feelings, where as those intense emotions fade and love is the choice you make to continue to remain committed and faithful. Finding someone with that same mindset is harder than it should be these days imo.

It should be a natural process and we should have examples of healthy relationships growing up. I can't stress that enough. I think people who put too much thought into the concept of love or idealise it haven't had appropriate exposure growing up.
The existence of love and the practicality of a relationship is different imo. Sometimes you can be very in love with someone but the relationship is not practical for various reasons. People come online all the time saying love doesn't exist just because their relationships have broken down. I think that's a separate issue.

[Celestia]

It should be a natural process and we should have examples of healthy relationships growing up. I can't stress that enough. I think people who put too much thought into the concept of love or idealise it haven't had appropriate exposure growing up.
The existence of love and the practicality of a relationship is different imo. Sometimes you can be very in love with someone but the relationship is not practical for various reasons. People come online all the time saying love doesn't exist just because their relationships have broken down. I think that's a separate issue.

Sure, I agree. Love exists but I don’t think it’s what is represented in movies like Mortimer posted. That to me is unrealistic.
I agree with your practicality statement.

[Brás Garcia de Mascarenhas]

I watched the movie LEGEND yesterday and that gave me the idea for the thread. Because the main actor fell in love with a woman, she then committed suicide, but he still loved her and had with him 2 plane tickets to Ibiza, where they planned to fly before she died.

Great movie but have you honestly seen it? She committed suicide because her husband was abusive and beat the crap out of her.

[Anglo-Celtic]

Women - except for some exceptional cases - make you waste too much time on trivial matters; better to concentrate your time on pursuing intellectual gratification.

I have to ask. Have you ever been in a relationship?

[Mortimer]

Great movie but have you honestly seen it? She committed suicide because her husband was abusive and beat the crap out of her.

I know but he was sorry, and he went to her to apologize and bring her back. I dont think he loved her any less or she him, she just couldnt handle his gangsterism anymore, on that night when he beat her he was drunk. I still think those two in the movie where that great love, until his death he still kept the plane tickets to ibiza in his pocket.

[Sylvanas]

Love is respect, desire, friendship, honesty...not abuse, that is wrong! I live in a healthy marriage and I know what is love. I'd do anyhing for him because he is a real man, not some abusive coward. Sick movie...