Does a Van Dyke suit a white trash peon like me?

[gianmarioricco1]

I always wanted to grow a van dyke.
But does It really fit me? Is it too sophisticated for a giant meatheaded retard like me who speaks in a thick Pugliese accent?
See i had the big bushy beard before, on the Verdi/Garibaldi spectrum, but now i'm working at a Vinyl store and wanted to look more proper.

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[Richmondbread]

Are you the new JamesBons007?

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[capocannoniere]

Try it bro. Maybe it will fit your face. People nowadays don't care about beards, tattoos and the like in any bigger town, don't think you'll get weird looks, especially by vinyl hipsters lol.

[NSXD60]

Too itchy, slap a merkin on your mug.

[Fortnite777]

I think van dykes only work on people with ample soul patch hair. Otherwise it does not look that good