Rocking the Buzzcut + SMP + Clean shaven look AKA midlife Crisis starter kit

[gianmarioricco1]

Guys, i'm not ribbing y'all one bit, a skinny 18 year old goth chick with a D Cup, tried to hit on me last night, she said i look 18 as well, when i'm factually 28.
I would much rather look like Gimli from LOTR, i hate manscaping, BUT, the pub in my vicinity is a notorious Egirl/Nu Metal/Mallcore circle jerk.
It's the price you pay i guess.

[PierreUno]

I have a buzzcut and a beardstache and I am middle aged. Two asian chicks (byrds) said I look handsome so far and I just started rocking this look. It has nothing to do with a midlife crisis but the fact that I cluster with the British /Dutch genetically so it is unsurprising I have an oblong face or 'horseface' (Henga and Horsa) which is one of the masculine face shapes. The price I pay is having few facial and hairstyle combos I can pull off.